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Clive Palmer and the billionaire’s guide to loving football

24th February, 2012
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Clive Palmer has wrought destruction on his own club (AAP Image/Laine Clark)
Roar Guru
24th February, 2012
31
2745 Reads

“I love football!” you bellowed on Wednesday night, Clive. Your young, exciting, bottom of the table, minimum wage Gold Coast United team had just held the A-League’s leaders to an exciting high-scoring draw in front of 1146 spectators and your self-satisfied self.

“I love football!” you emphatically repeated.

It felt good saying it Clive, didn’t it?

You said what countless millions in every corner of the world act out every single day of the year.

From the poorest of the poor who can’t afford shoes and make do with balls made from odds and ends, to some of the world’s most obscenely rich people.

We all know where you can be found on Mammon’s great big pyramid scheme.

That’s right. The little pointy stone right at the very top. Yes, where you will find all the world’s billionaires.

Yes, I know it’s getting a bit crowded up there but you should have no problem finding Suleiman Kerimov. Let me introduce you to him.

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Suleiman Kerimov is from the republic of Dagestan, in the North Caucasus. The region is extremely volatile and not safe for tourists as there is an Islamic insurgency from neighbouring Chechnya. (Just think of Cavill Avenue on a late Saturday night.)

Just like you, he made some canny investments and latest reports had him worth $7.8 billion. A figure you can relate to.

On January 18 2011, Kerimov purchased Dagestan’s main football club FC Anzhi Makhachkala who play in the Russian Premier League. In that time he has:

• Spent over $100m on player transfers.
• Spent $30m for Samuel Eto’o and pays him a wage of around $20m a year
• Just signed Guus Hiddink on an 18 month $20m contract.
• Renovated the home stadium and will spend over $20m building pitches for the republic’s children.
• Planned to build a 40,000 football stadium.

The players fly in from Moscow as it’s too unsafe for the players to be based in Makhachkala.

“Football can change the entire appearance of Dagestan,” German Chistyakov, the club’s general director told The Guardian, “it changes people’s views and shows them that life will change further.”

The locals, who have an average income $400 a month, are packing out the stadium.

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“Our region is tense, it’s a hot spot,” says Artur Dobronravov, a member of the Anzhi fan club, Dikaya Diviziya (Wild Division). “But football is good PR – now everyone in the whole world knows about Anzhi.”

Let’s see how your record stacks up, Clive.

• Gold Coast United has cost you $18m over the last three years.
• To save yourself $750,000 a year you introduced a crowd cap at Skilled Park. This effectively cost you about the same amount in reduced gate takings from an alienated fan base who decided not to turn up
• You then offer to throw in $250,000 to help redevelop and then move to a Rugby League ground with a capacity of 5,000.

From a PR point of view you have done nothing for football fans to change their image of the Gold Coast. For them it has remained a cultural wasteland with a beach, bad architecture and a yearly alcohol and drug fuelled teenage bonkathon.

They are still waiting for the Gold Coast to be put on the football map.

“I’m a football fan that’s spent $18 million dollars of my money trying to make (Gold Coast United) work. Has any of you spent that much? Has the FFA spent that much? Has Frank Lowy spent that much? Has Ben Buckley spent that much? I doubt it,” you complained to The World Game on Monday night in a 15 minute rant that sounded more like a paid political advert than hard hitting interview.

Australia’s football community has known for years that the FFA has issues with transparency and poor decision making. They all know that the clubs deserve a greater influence on how the A-League is run.

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How about thinking about how you could have better spent your money on the way your club was run and promoted so it could become part of the Gold Coast community.

“I love football!”. Kerimov certainly does.

Last Sunday when you made headlines and became the A-League story of the season, I very much doubt those three words were foremost on your mind.

Athas Zafiris is on Twitter @ArtSapphire

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