What on earth is going on at Parramatta?

The Eels are none from four this season. They have scored a grand total of seven tries in those four games. That horror statistic only gets worse when you realise they have let through 24 at the other end.

Everyone associated with the club, from players to supporters to car park attendants, are hurting. Infighting in such grim circumstances is a natural reaction. There have been reports of player disharmony and the players and coach Stephen Kearney are feeling the heat from all directions.

The vision of club-stalwart Nathan Hindmarsh shuffling off the field to boos from the same hometown supporters who once worshipped him was telling. Those booming echoes in the tunnel will doubtless live long in his memory.

Parramatta’s response to this capitulation? Well, they can’t really blame the officials. Six wins from their last 28 starts will do that to you. No, instead we are told they are “rebuilding” or they are “very disappointed” or some combination of the two.

Let’s start with ‘rebuilding’. Parramatta last won a premiership in 1986. That was the year that saw Ray Price and Mick Cronin retire from the game. Two other Eels legends-to-be, Peter Sterling and Brett Kenny, were only in their mid 20s at the time. Something to rebuild around one could argue.

Apparently not. Parramatta, it seems, have been rebuilding for 25 years. Their next premiership is a galaxy away. Probably later.

As for ‘disappointed’, players and coaches say this straight off the auto-cue and expect supporters to swallow it. “We lost tonight, we’re very disappointed with our performance.” Why thank you, Sherlock. See you next week old chap.

How about some serious reflection on what really went wrong? How about “the pre-season we had stunk. It was nowhere near intense enough” or “We have recruited the wrong players for years now”? Or perhaps “the coach isn’t really giving us any strategies to improve our chances of winning”?

Laying the blame solely at the feet of Stephen Kearney would be easy. And wrong. Clearly there is something the matter structurally at the club. All parties should be accountable. The board (both old and new), management, the coaching staff and the players.

The history of the Parramatta Football Club board is chequered at best. Infighting, public spats, convenient alliances, allegations, insinuations, vested interests, conflicts of interests, spills. The club is a corporate governance case study. Any board that could make sensible and correct decisions in such an environment should try their hand at running a country in the Middle East.

With regards to Kearney specifically, we keep hearing he is a terrific bloke and very generous with his time. He may or may not be the right person, but Eels fans must be so happy to have a nice person in charge.

The players themselves look off the pace and out of their league. The old guard looks old, the young tyros look young and the new recruits are counting their boats. None of them are living up to expectations.

There is of course another theory about what has gone wrong. Let’s call it the coach’s curse or more accurately “The Curse of Brian Smith”.

The “Curse” goes a little like this: It is widely known that none of the five NRL clubs that Brian Smith has coached has ever won a grand final while he was there. It gets worse.

None of the five NRL clubs that Brian Smith has coached has ever won a grand final after he left. That includes the Illawarra Steelers (Smith left in 1987), St George Dragons (1995), Parramatta Eels (2006) and Newcastle Knights (2009). He now coaches the Sydney Roosters.

The first two are set in stone as the two clubs no longer exist. The other three teams, including Parramatta, will be hoping the curse can be broken some time this century.