As the season winds down, we love to celebrate the stars that make the A-League galaxy burn so bright.
Yes, it’s time to honour the best of the worst, the worst of the best and the worst of the worst.
I have put together a team with this express purpose.
It was a tough job paring the team down to our final eleven, but the manager’s strict wishes of fielding a team with a fake diamond midfield had to be adhered to.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the A-League’s Z-Team of 2012.
Liam Reddy (Sydney FC). He made the howler of the season against Melbourne Heart and then got sent home for drinking on the flight to Wellington.
Brad Porter (Central Coast Mariners). A right back of limited ability who was exposed time and again whenever he took the field. So much so, he secured a more lucrative contract during the season to play with Bangkok United in Thailand’s Second Division. Yes, the redemptive power of football.
Pascal Bosschaart (Sydney FC). A sensible choice to fill one of the central defensive positions. He’s never scored in his long career but has the ability break the ice with opposition strikers. For example, Besart Berisha was so smitten with Pascal, he wanted to make post-game moves on him in the tunnel.
Adrian Leijer (Melbourne Victory). The captain of the Z-Team and a very dependable central defender. Especially, when it came to copping yellow cards, giving away penalties, and getting sent off in big games.
Byun Sung-Hwan (Newcastle Jets). The Korean left back scored two own goals against Melbourne Victory, and single-footedly gave Kevin Muscat a 100% winning record as manager.
Jacob Burns (Perth Glory). When it came to finding our midfield enforcer, the key performance indicator was who conceded the highest number of free kicks. Step forward Jacob Burns. Anti-footballer extraordinaire and the Z-Team’s boo-boy.
Leigh Broxham (Melbourne Victory). Speaking of boos, the only player to be booed by his own fans when making his 100th appearance for the club. His career might be over at Victory, but this achievement alone warrants a spot in our first XI.
Andy Slory (Adelaide United). The surly Dutchman played without a smile on his face. Slory hated football so much he called it quits early in the season at the age of 29. His honesty has been rewarded.
Carlos Hernandez (Melbourne Victory). The Z-team’s match winner. He won’t be required to track back and he will be strictly instructed to avoid threading a through ball to the front two for very good reason. Match fitness will not be an issue as he will not be asked to move during the game.
David Williams (Melbourne Heart). One of the highest paid strikers in the A-League, Williams made only 15 appearances and scored one goal. That’s what you call value for money.
Maycon (Melbourne Heart). The 25 year old Brazilian import was described as a “development” player by Heart management after they quickly worked out that he wasn’t any good.
Mehmet Durakovic (Melbourne Victory). With a team like this, “What can you do?”
Follow Athas on Twitter: @ArtSapphire