Dear NSW: If you can’t beat ‘em, cheat em!

For the 2012 Origin series New South Wales is going to have to rekindle their true spirit, go back to basics and do what they do best.

That is: it’s time to cheat, cheat, cheat!

It has become clear this week that the odds of New South Wales winning the Origin series are roughly the same as the Swedish meatball dish surviving the Queensland forward pack’s bonding night buffet.

With a halves pairing sporting more tattoos than rep appearances, outside backs moodier than a mini-van of sleep deprived teenagers and a forward pack about as ferocious as a Mount Tamborine B and B, the Blues are pushing Jeremy Schloss’ shoe uphill.

Essentially Ricky Stuart has picked a stats based SuperCoach style side in an attempt to be the next Billy Beane, but risks the very real chance of being the next Billy Bibbitt.

But, who’s to say it’s the best team that always wins? There are certain ways around the ability gap in sport. There are particular ‘dark arts’ that are passed down between generations. This come to be known in sporting circles as ‘gamesmanship’.

Or to us regular folk, cheating. With style!

Surely not, you gasp indignantly, all of that loathsome claptrap was stomped out in the late 70’s with the introduction of video technology. Today’s family orientated crowds would not stand for such skulduggery!

Oh really?

Was it not just last week that the amazing albino James Graham took to the field covered from head to toe in petroleum jelly, looking all the while like a quickly melting abominable snowman?

Sure the big fella left himself open for a bit of facial treatment and a few crude Hopoate jokes, but it was brilliant thinking outside the square from the front rower. Same goes for Dave Taylor’s fake injury come hit-up from the other week. Outstanding….although one could argue Scott Prince has been trying this schtick for years.

And don’t even get me started on the Melbourne Storm former admin, with their many rooms of leather bound books and rich mahogany.

Noticing a trend here? Pom, Queenslander, Victoria…yep, not a cockroach to be seen anywhere, the boys in blue are as clean as Aaron Raper’s Origin jersey .

So, have the New South Wales team become too nice to break the rules? The Blues used to have some great cheats! More cheating than a season of Jerry Springer! Elias, Stuart himself, ET…now it’s all nice guy Ben Creagh types, dobbing themselves in to the touchie when they make a boo-boo.

Sure the crusty old codgers at Phillip St will still try to pull a swifty at the judiciary, intimidate the refs pre-match and coax a few Kiwis into pulling on the sky blue, but there’s only so much they can do.

No, it’s up to those blokes on the field to have a good hard look at themselves, realise they’ve got Buckley’s and put their collective noggins together to work out a way to burgle their way to victory.

Whether it be diving in tackles, time wasting, walking off the mark, illegal wrestling manoeuvres or some highly dubious ball-up-the jumper style play they need to do something, otherwise it’ll be “Ya ya yippee yippee ya” with smug Ben Ikin smiles and a declaration of ”that’s-all-folks”!

Plus if nothing else, even if these underhanded tactics don’t result in the desired victory, it will at least give the Queenslanders something to whinge about again.

And that, we must remember, is the true spirit of Origin.

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