Every now and then professional footballers can get a pretty bad rap in the press and end up being portrayed as nothing more than a bunch of over-paid, self indulgent, muscle-bound man children.
Thankfully then comes along a week like this one to remove all doubt!
In a footy news cycle that featured lead stories on both wedgies and biting, it would take something more embarrassing than Sam Kasiano’s year 10 geography test results to short-sheet such stupidity.
Yep, it took a ‘Mum Joke’.
Now it may never be known whether Western Bulldogs player Will Minson (surely that’s meant to be Mason?) was cracking a funny about Danyle Pearce’s mother being so large that she irons her underwear on the driveway, or perhaps that she is so slow that she believes a cartoon is something you sing on long road trips.
However it is known that mum jokes reached a zenith with ‘the Nutty Professor’ and more or less died along with Eddie Murphy’s career soon thereafter.
Comedic merit aside, Minson’s antics have once again ignited the debate of what constitutes going too far, and what topics are off-limits when sledging in sport.
There are two very different schools of thought on this. The traditional crusty bloke with no ears on the hill’s stance being that anything goes once you step on the field, and the new-age sentiment that players should not need to stoop to verbal intimidation to get an edge on opponents.
Personally I don’t think the sledge is as big a deal as gets made out, as it seems footy players these days are usually too knackered to roll out a decent quip. To top it off don’t all of them wear mouthguards anyway?
“Heyppfff Johnno, I hoorked upfff wid you Miffuff laff night, eh eh”
Doesn’t copy very well does it?
Even still I think it’s time to make a clear list of what’s kosher and what’s not, just so everything is black and white (errrr starting with rule number 1, don’t ever use either of those colours when addressing another player in a sledge!).
Because as much as I don’t want to condone verbal harassment, surely there is room left in Aussie sport for a well thought out humorous quip delivered with impeccable timing?
I propose that the sports bodies join forces to create an independent body to deal with sports sledging. I’m thinking they can put together a panel of some of Australian sports real zing kings, blokes who knew their way around a witticism. Your Steve Waughs, Walters brothers, Merv Hughes and the 2003 Brisbane Lions.
They could discuss what was fair game and what was just plain uncool. In fact, they could even expand their role to helping raise the quality of on-field mockery by taking young up and comers under their wing in special training camps
A weekly 3-2-1 vote could be given out to each sport for best barb with an end of year ‘Sledgies’ Award, where athletes battle it out for Quip of the Year, Best new Banterer and possible induction into the Shane Warne Wit Hall of Fame.
But since the blokes who put together the ARLC are in charge of this project, for now sports fans you will have to make do with the below official streamlined banter guidelines.
Happy sledging!
Off Limits
– Race/Ethnicity
– Religion
– Immediate family members
– Sexual orientation
– Mental health issues
– Indictable criminal offences
Fair Game
– Hair and face
– Waistline
– Intelligence
– The scoreboard
– Pay packet
– Lack of ability
– Minor nuisance summary criminal offences
– Media profile
– Wedding tackle sizean>
– Pay packet
– Ugliness of fan-base
– Suit worn to awards night
What do you think, Roarers? Is there anything you can add?
Follow Chris on Twitter: Vic_Arious@twitter.com
xaviercrane
Roar Rookie
Warrington fans love to do it every time he scores a try. No bones about it.
Arthur Fonzarelli
Guest
Sexual orientation off limits ? So barking at Joel Monaghan is crossing the line ?
Jonny G
Guest
A personal favourite of mine, and one which I stole from somewhere (most likely Dennis Lillee): Fielder: Hey Batsmen, you've got some sh*t on the end of your bat Batsmen: (Looks at the toe of his bat, sees there is nothing there) Fielder: Wrong end mate
swannies05
Roar Pro
Great article CC. I personally think sledging has a huge part to play in sport. There should definitely be parameters and I think the ones you suggested are spot on. If players can't cop sledging than they're in the wrong industry. If your not smart enough to retort with a better sledge than hopefully your at least smart enough to not let yourself be bothered by it.
Chris Chard
Expert
Hi BigAl Personally I agree with you, but with most cases of sledging being covered over with "It's just a bit of banter..." by players and coaches I thought I'd roll in the two together. Can we say banter may be sledging by association? All the best CC
Chris Chard
Expert
Hi Jimbo and Purple Shag Funny stuff, I actually picked up a whole bunch of Vick t-shirts in the U.S in 2009- $5 each on clearance! Made sure I only wore them when I got home though. As for sledging based on criminal offences I guess it's a case by case basis (i.e. how many underworld connections does said player have) All the best CC
Chris Chard
Expert
Hi JVGO I too regularly get sledged about my 'old' age, and quite often by blokes older than me! The joys of going grey in your teens eh All the best CC
Don Corleone
Guest
Exception to sledges about family, and probably the best sledge ever... Rod Marsh: "How's your wife and my kids?" Ian Botham: "The wife's good, the kids are retarded"
Dan
Guest
Playing against parramatta in junior cricket I was at first slip and my mate at second, the kid batting was a little larger than most but his nipples were huge lol my mate just started singing the mental as anything song "the nips are getting bigger" lol A fair sledge from a 14yr old! -- Comment left via The Roar's iPhone app. Download The Roar's iPhone App in the App Store here.
BigAl
Guest
Sledging and banter are two different things ! Banter is like what takes place around the barbie or at the pub - and even that can come to a bad ending, usually dependant on how much alcohol has been consumed. Sledging is all about denigration, humiliation, dis-respect. morale-breaking - ALL to gain a competitive advantage.
Captain Kickass
Guest
Best sledge I ever heard was by a pace bowler in a U/16's team I was in. An otherwise relatively quiet boy, he'd just completed a hat-trick and after removing the off-stump of victim #4, jogged down the pitch with a simple "Woohoo ... and you can **** off as well !!!" Maybe you had to be there, maybe it was the effortless delivery of it, but here I am some 20 years later recalling it and it's still makes me giggle.
JazzyJase
Roar Pro
Playing sport should be fun and the best sledges involve humour (and a little bit of truth). it would be a boring planet if we are not able to have a laugh at our head, waist, lack of ability, hairline etc. Personal stuff isn't really on in any domain. Often when someone crosses the line even their own team mates are quick to tell them to pull thier head in. Sledging will always remain and some people are vry good at, some people rise above and are motivated by it. I always thought if i was going to sledge i'd better expect to cop some back and make sure i am prepared to back it up I can't see sledging being stamped out ever and i wouldn't want it to. As long as it is in right spirit i think we should embrace the master sledgers
UK Steve
Guest
I think that if you complain about being sledged, whether it is about race, releigion etc, then you have to be squeeky clean yourself. Does anyone know hether Port's Danyl Pearce said anything to the Bulldogs Will Minson, to make him say what he did. On another note, not sure why it is ok to call someone fat or bald, but you can't mention their religion.
Jimbo
Guest
Right on purple shag, I actually went to a giants eagles game in 2010, hearing the whole of new meadowlands making dog woofs on eagles' 3rd downs was hilarious -- Comment left via The Roar's iPhone app. Download The Roar's iPhone App in the App Store here.
Purple Shag
Roar Guru
I think cricket (or baseball for that matter) is a sport that is just custom built for sledging. It's relatively quiet, there are loads of blokes standing round, occasionally half cut, doing very little except thinking how they can rag on the man at the crease. Cricket just wouldn't be the same without the wonderous element of the heckle. Criminal offences a no go zone?? Surely when you're staring down Michael Vick before the snap, there's got to be some room a canine references or three. Speaking of man's best friend, you didn't specify which side of the fence beastiality sits on. Best to ask Joel direct if it is fair game or not.
rsingi
Roar Rookie
Certainly there is a place for banter but within parameters. I got racially abused on the cricket ground this year and thankfully the authorities suspended the nimrod concerned for 6 weeks. It is important that team mates and officials of such idiots dont tolerate the behaviour. In the game I played in their captain incited the behaviour which was the main problem.
k77sujith
Guest
I think it's cowardly to make any form of comments and is nothing but a sign of desperation. It does show that the person is feeling the heat and resorting to negative unsportsmanlike tactics. I think it happens quite a lot in the AFL. I might be old-school in this regard but it's just my opinion. Thanks.
JVGO
Guest
I have been regularly sledged about my age...well...for years really. I don't mind, I take it as a compliment, except when my own team starts doing it.
Johnno
Guest
The best sledge I heard the merv hughes robin smith ones were good. -And some others was the one where one of the players said after Mark waugh gave him a spray about not being up to test cricket. He said something like well at least im the best player in my family. -The sledge with sarwan or chanderpaul with Mcgrath got heated, and a little personal on both sides. Glen was going through a naturally tough time with Jane, and things got a bit heated. -Also for those that don't recall a fame sledge was Micheal Slater and Rahul Dravid. Slats got very heated and fired up he was also having some off field dramas in his personal life at the time with his ex wife, and also tension with steve waugh his captain who struggled to restoration slats. -Later that year Slats was dropped from the test team in the Ashes 2001 5th test for justin languor, and wan't happy about being dropped and lost confidence that steve waugh had in him. Was a tough call to drop slats then, but like shane warne, slats wasn't best mates with steve waugh either.