How to succeed in the NRL

The Parramatta Eels are struggling on and off the field. They recently pushed head coach Stephen Kearney out the back door, apparently making room for New South Wales mentor Ricky Stuart to take over.

Eels Chief Executive Bob Bentley has made plenty of mistakes so far in his tenure at Parramatta.

Over in Penrith, Phil Gould has had plenty of headaches too. Sometimes, if you don’t laugh, you will cry. Perhaps these guys need some tips on running a successful football club?

First helpful hint is to sack whomever the coach is and start again. Come to think of it, Bentley sacked Kearney and Gould released Matt Elliott almost as soon as he got to the joint.

A new coach does wonderful and mysterious things to a footy side. Take Daniel Anderson for example. The Eels hired Anderson in 2009 and within a year the club was in the grand final.

The legend that is Wayne Bennett headed to the St George Illawarra Dragons in 2009 as well and within two years handed the Saints their first title in 31 years.

Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs and South Sydney Rabbitohs are both flying this season and it’s no surprise they have new coaches in Des Hasler and Michael Maguire respectively.

Hasler has worked wonders at Belmore and transformed the Dogs into an attacking juggernaut with skill right across the park.

Souths are just as dangerous and could be the real fairytale story of 2012.

But just as quickly as you hire these guys, you should probably sack them just prior to round one. Watch the team lift!

In fact, you might as well just sack a new coach every week. That’s a lot of coaches and plenty of money spent, but what’s the price for a premiership?

Next helpful hint is to sign Krisnan Inu. The kid might be the rugby league equivalent of a yo-yo, but damn he brings luck with him.

In 2009, Inu’s Eels made it all the way to the decider. Last year he was in the big one for New Zealand and might be on the verge of his third grand final in four years if the Bulldogs continue on their merry way.

Only offer a one year deal though, saves releasing him later when the luck turns sour.

You should probably also start the year with a rookie halfback.

Daly Cherry-Evans unbelievable debut season for the Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles saw the little playmaker named Rookie of the Year after steering his side to a premiership win.

Adam Reynolds will be named Rookie of the Year in a few weeks and might just return Souths to ANZ Stadium on the last Sunday of the season.

Get yourself a born-again bad boy too.

Jarryd Hayne was shot at in Kings Cross in 2008. Within twelve months, the superstar was the Dally M Medallist and a grand finalist.

What happened the following year? Todd Carney won the Dally M and led the Sydney Roosters all the way to the decider after a string of misdemeanours in Canberra.

Brett Stewart’s problems have been well publicised. His redemption came with another title last year for the Eagles.

But most importantly, don’t cheat the salary cap. Or more to the point, don’t get caught.