“One of the hardest decisions in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder”. I’m not sure who to attribute the above quote to, but it did strike a chord with me.
Back in 2009, my decision to retire was actually fairly simple.
I was in a lot of pain. My knee would throb incessantly, often waking me during the night.
Read more: Rathbone set for another crack at rugby
I was consuming painkillers and anti-inflammatories like tic tacs and I had just had a titanium plate inserted into my face to hold my eye socket and jaw together.
I could no longer train or play at a level I was satisfied with and I had lost the enjoyment factor in a big way.
Rugby had become a paycheck rather than a passion.
About 18 months ago, I decided to regain my health and wellbeing. After 10 years as a professional athlete, I had let myself go in a big way.
I wanted to take control of my fitness, so I began training with a simple goal of getting into respectable condition.
Then in February of this year I had my Jerry Maguire moment and went public with my experience of depression.
That same week, Jake White rang me to see if I was interested in playing again. I could train with the Brumbies and become part of their rugby program.
It was a great offer but I turned it down.
The timing wasn’t right, but the seed was well and truly planted.
Almost unconsciously, I began to train with a view to return to the game, and by June, I had decided that I wanted to have another crack.
My body felt good and I felt I had a good handle on how to train in a way that minimised the stress on my knee but still allowed me to maximise my speed and power qualities.
I rang Jake and said that if the offer was still on the table I would like to accept.
Fortunately, he agreed and suggested I wait until the Super Rugby season finished before training with the squad.
I continued to train on my own until a month ago, when I completed some speed testing at the AIS.
Since then I’ve had a couple of weeks in the program and I’m enjoying it immensely. The professionalism of the program and the enthusiasm of the group have been fantastic.
There is a serious feeling of unfinished business heading into next year and the hard work has already started in the lead up to 2013.
I honestly have no idea how I will go and there are a host of reasons why I should fail: I’ve not played at a professional level for three years, I’ve got a knee that requires careful management, and I’m a 31 year old outside back.
At the same time, I believe I can make a success of this comeback or I would not be attempting it.
I’m excited about being given the opportunity to add some value to this Brumbies squad, to finish rugby on my terms, and have a lot of fun doing it.
Whatever happens, I will be able to walk away saying I gave rugby my best shot, left no stone unturned, and learned a lot about myself and about life along the way.
It’s going to be a great challenge and an awesome journey.
I started this column with a quote and I’ll end with one of my favourites by Teddy Roosevelt: “Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”
Cheryl Neil Davies
Guest
We wish you all the very best Clyde and looking forward to watching you give it your all!. Stay strong and focused!
Mups
Guest
You are an inspiration, and will have a huge amount of support behind you. Awesome! You are about to embark on a journey that many people, including me, wish we were able to do, or had done.
jus de couchon
Guest
As an neutral Id say he must have lost a bit of pace given his age and med. Inside centre would be the best place for him. Given Aus paucity of players in the hard yards he may fit.
matthew
Guest
Defintely the right call, Clyde. Dont die wandering. With centre stocks for the Wallabies as light as they are this could be the start of a great journey to the gold jersey.
joeb
Guest
Long been a fan, here’s hoping it works out for you Clyde. Best of luck!
Worlds biggest
Guest
Fantastic stuff Rath, good on you mate and all the best. Brumbies just got that much stronger. Australian Rugby has a shortage of quality outside centres at the elite level so good opportunity if your thinking centre.
Skills & Techniques
Guest
Hope you score a triple off the bench in the first game back Clyde! -- Comment left via The Roar's iPhone app. Download The Roar's iPhone App in the App Store here.
King of the Gorgonites
Roar Guru
Best of luck Clyde
Red Kev
Guest
Loved your appearance on The Rugby Club Rath. Hope the comeback goes well because there's a gold outside centre jersey just begging to be filled with a skilled player at the moment.
Mushu
Roar Pro
+2
Mushu
Roar Pro
And, Jean de Villiers (Clyde's centre partner for the Springbok U21) is still plying his skills rather successfully for the Stormers and the Bok senior team. So I would think age is not too much of a problem.
jason8
Guest
As someone who has lamented your' switch' from SA to Oz - i have not always been on your side but i have to give you props on the courage you are showing here. If it doesnt work out at the Brumbies we seem to be collecting aging backs at the Sharks - maybe Plum would like another ? hehe
Markus
Guest
Think you're right, Brett, I think it was playing for Royals where he acquired the aforementioned titanium plate in his cheek. Acquired the need for it, at least. One would hope the plate itself came from sort of qualified medical facility.
MIchael
Guest
A hero and an inspiration.
RedSkippy
Guest
Great news.
Rugby Reg
Guest
This is great news Clyde All the best to you!! oz rugby needs some hard strong runners and imho you were one of the best we had ! let hope you can regain some form, who knows, in a years time we might be talking about you taking on the boks as a wallaby! all the best Reg
Chris
Guest
He's probably suited to league in a way. Could have made a fast, hard hitting centre. Can't believe the Raiders never thought of it! Oh well, go the Brumbies.
Chris
Guest
I seem to recall a couple of games for Uni-Norths in 2009. Of course, back then it was a rarity for the pros to play club rugby in Canberra at all, and when they did it was often not for the same club. Absolutely brilliant to see the Brumbies in the local comp these days. Good to see no exceptions either. There was something very funny about Hooper refusing to play for Easts and having to sit out the last month instead of playing in Sydney!
tommy
Guest
All the best mate. Crush em! Except for the Reds... Don't crush them please:)
Colin
Guest
Good on you, Clyde and good luck with the Brumbies.