As a rugby league fan, I will go to great lengths to make sure I get to see the grand final every year. This is even if it means overcoming niggling roadblocks such as work, relationship commitments and the birth of blood-relatives.
When on the road, though, and not having the luxury of just parking your arse on the couch and fumbling for the remote on the big day, getting to watch the grand final goes from being a simple exercise in responsibility-dodging to the kind of mission that Chuck Norris riding a velociraptor would shy away from.
In 2011, my game day experience consisted of listening to ABC’s radio coverage in rural Africa via an internet server that cut-out every time a monkey jumped on our server cable (approximately every second set of six, or every time Manu Vatuvei dropped the ball).
Being in London for the 2012 decider, however, things were looking up.
Or so I thought.
The following is a blow-by blow description of my NRL grand final day in the Olympic City:
•12am Sunday morning: with the game kicking off at 8:15am London time, I set my alarm for 7am, allowing me plenty of time to make it to the nearest Australian-themed pub for kick-off. It also provided me plenty of time to regret being far too broke to afford Sky Sports in my house
•7:00am: alarm goes off. When the smell of regret and empty bottles of Scrumpy Jack hits my nostrils I realise it is a Sunday. Promptly fall asleep again.
•7:48am: wake from a dream about scoring a 98-metre try for the South Queensland Crushers wearing nothing but a Footy Show cap and black boot polish under my eyes. Have a nagging feeling that I am supposed to be somewhere.
•7:50am: OH DEAR GOD!!!!
•8:00am: arrive at tube station and jump on the first train. I am the only person in the carriage that isn’t an early-rising football hooligan or a lumpy housewife reading “50 Shades of Grey.”
•8:10am: get out of the tube station and start frantically looking for the Aussie pub. Breathe a sigh of relief when across the road I see two grown men wearing matching “Bring Back the Biff” T-shirts laying passed-out in a gutter.
•8:13am: make it into the pub, order a snake-bite and saddle up to the big screen showing the game. Ask a bloke next to me if I missed anything in the pre-match entertainment. Apparently, my late arrival had deprived me of seeing “Some ugly seppo douches in the wrong jerseys singing or something!”
•8:15am: kick-off, and the crowd erupts! Place bets on the winning margin, first try scorer, and how many seconds it will be before Craig Bellamy blows up in the coaches box.
•9th minute, game time: Hoff slides over and Melbourne are on the board. Kleenex share-price takes a dramatic plunge.
•17th minute: channelling the spirit of Shannon Nevin, Cameron Smith stinks-up his penalty attempt, causing it to bounce off the upright and let the Dogs off the hook. Doggies fans to the left of me decide to put their Storm jerseys and ciggie lighters away, for the time being.
•27th minute: Canterbury goes in for a try. In much more important news: “FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT”! The whole pub breaks its Sunday morning hangover and rises to its feet. Replays of James Graham going the chomp on Billy Slater are met with more cheers and fist-pumping. Come to the conclusion that Billy’s ear is probably better than the Yorkshire Pudding and mushy peas that the pub is currently trying to pass off as food.
•33rd minute: Ol’ one-ear Bill goes over for the Storm’s second. Ben Barba spotted in back-play trying to fill in his New Zealand visa forms for the chance to play rep footy one day.
•40th minute: and right on half time Melbourne is in again. If Cooper Cronk was any more on-fire then his jersey would be in a pile of ashes in Belmore somewhere.
•Halftime: it is reassuring to know that halftime in the pub directly mirrors that at the game, i.e.: queuing for the toilets, queuing for drinks, queuing for the chance to move away from the fat bloke in a Manly jersey who has been blocking your view all game etc. No fly-by visit from Joey Johns, though, unfortunately (I don’t think London brings out the best in him).
•42nd minute: only two minutes back in the game and the Dogs are on the attack courtesy of a Billy Slater error. Ben Barba seen in back-play hastily reaching for the white-out
•50th minute: what looked to be a certain try goes begging as Michael “Top Bloke” Ennis gets held-up by best mate Cameron “The Personality” Smith in a great display of line defence. Somewhere, Benny Elias receives a narky text message from Steve Walters.
•54th minute: not content with looking like Blackbeard’s brother and eating half his club’s under-20s team, Sam Kasiano drops the knee in a play the ball and gifts the Storm a penalty. The bartender wearing a Melbourne jersey drops three trays of glasses when he sees Cameron Smith reaching for the kicking-tee again.
•62nd minute: a jolt of electricity surges through pub as Ben Barba breaks his way through the line and hoofs the ball down field for Josh “not Brett” Morris. There is to be no repeat of Mackay, though, with Slater flying in to save the day, providing a bigger spoiler than the pimply faced kid who told me that Robin was going to be in the new Batman movie.
•66th minute: Dogs come close to scoring, before the video referee realises that Jono Wright was somehow involved in the play. Red light.
•69th minute: Brian Norrie claims a try for the Storm, leaving everyone scratching their head as to how the big-bopper got to the in-goal so fast. Replays showing him to approximately 37.5 metres offside revive everyone’s belief in basic physics.
•75th minute: Bulldogs on the attack and needing to land a try to stay in the game. Against the wishes of every non-Storm supporter inside the pub, though, they pass it to Keating, resulting in a turnover and at least 7-8 tirades within earshot concerning the general evil nature of redheads.
•80th minute: the clock winds down and Melbourne claim their deserved prize. As others celebrate or begin drowning their sorrows I look into my warm snake-bite and quietly reminisce on another great year of rugby league.
Well done Storm; you truly are a champion team. And as for the Doggies, well, there is always the hope of a better tomorrow.
If you’re lucky, the Channel Nine chopper might even give you a lift.
xaviercrane
Roar Rookie
They were baggies fans heading out to watch their team play up at Villa (hence the early start). Always amazing what you discover in such a cosmpolitan city, eh? Thanks for playing X www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQHfoz9Be7U
Lowdown
Guest
1999. Angel Walkabout on a cold, wet Sunday morning. 3 Storm fans - the rest St Merge. Emu Lager in a tin can each and eggs and bacon for brekky. For about 70 mins, the St Merge fans had cheesy grins on their face. The last few minutes erased them for an eternity as 3 Storm fans jumped up and down in ectasy. Great memories!
Mitch AFC
Roar Rookie
It can hardly bee seen as an act of discovery to have found somewhere to watch either Grand Final last weekend especially in the worlds most cosmopolitan city. •8:00am: arrive at tube station and jump on the first train. I am the only person in the carriage that isn’t an early-rising football hooligan or a lumpy housewife reading “50 Shades of Grey.” Roar Rookie eh? nice bit of lazy reporting to start with seeing as there wasn't a game within a 100 miles of London that day! so unless the now aged 50+ ICF were out for their Sunday School meeting me thinks perhaps it was just you and E. L. James
I'mastormtrooper2
Guest
Fantastic Oikee - thanks for sharing ... So enjoyed the poem and I checked out his website ... Very inspiring, emotional too ... I've sent it to my bother, a race horse owner in the Isa, and my hubby's father - a footballer in a former life, but his passion is really horses - of the racing kind - Born in Oakey, and grew up in Toowoomba - Maybe your grandfather new his family (Thrupp) ... He also trained race horses in Brisbane during the 80's, but is known for racing trotters, and in his later years as a publican - He is 70 ... I'm not planning on working as long as he and his wife :-) ... Slim Dusty was for my mind a poet and lyricist, and penned a few song about my home town - I thnk it was almost a second home to our man Slim ... 'Isa Rodeo", features a horse by the name of "Spinifex" - a rodeo bucking bronc and there was a famous bull too, just can't quite recall his furorious name ... The rodeo's in those days weren't regarded as a business, as they are today ... We even have a small rodeo each year at our local community show ... More fun then expertise ... The song "Isa Rodeo" and the comments ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpLdesDTeao Slim also wrote about Edna Jessop, a well know Isa identity and champion drover, horse-rider and bush-women - A Legend of the West ... I went to school with her son and even had a horse lesson or two, when I was a young ... Although, as I said, I haven't been too keen on horses since "that biting incident" ... I certainly know how Billy feels, and of course he's not too shabby on a horse either :-) ... Edna passed away in 2007 ... Her beauty I question, but nothing surer the women was a tough as her riding boots ... And even men didn't question her much ... I'm not sure she would have coped nearly as well if she didn't have a facard ... I went to a number of Slim Dusty's concerts as a youngster, but never had the priviledge of meeting him ... :-( Edna's story below ... And the lyrics to Slim's song about his friend ... The Legend of Edna Jessop ... http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2007/09/20/2038285.htm "Give My Regards to Edna" ... http://www.mp3lyrics.org/s/slim-dusty/give-my-regards/
oikee
Guest
Yeah, i am along way from ever being a cowboy. I admire the bullriders as i think what they do is frighteneing and most dont get paid alot. I was just reading their are 30 million horse owners in the USA. :) Mate, that is massive. This guy is probably the best hoursemen i have ever seen. The lady who got him to America could see his potential. He is also a Poet, real tear jerker tuff, and he knows how to work a crowd. Unlike the entertainers that we produce these days. I have been to a couple of bullriding events in Brisbane, at the Entertainment centre. Mate like i said, i am not a horsey or cow person and i loved the bullriding. I think i had a couple of heart attacks watching these guys ride these monsters. Chainsaw and Earthquake, champion world class bulls had me in awe of what these guys go through. Very narly. I just admire talent, America admires this talent as well. This guy is already at shows in Vegas, Washington DC and he also won a Aquestrian event he entered in 2010 or 2011 in America. He is the horse whisperer. :) He has got a aussie team and American team which are Aussie horses he took to America.. Here, i will leave you with a Peom he wrote about the Texas Thunder. Unreal. My grandad had Draft horses here in Toowomba, on a Property, he would have loved this. video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp3dfriwSY0
I'mastormtrooper2
Guest
Have you ever been to the Mount Isa Rodeo Oikee ??? I lived there, and loved doing so. for over 25 years, in the era when the mining city was touted as the biggest and best rodeo in the world ... Although it doesn't hold that crown anymore, I believe it is still the largest rodeo in the Southern Hemisphere ... The annual event has moved from it's halo grounds to a new venue closer to the mining city these days - Nothing stays the same ... What great times, and wonderful memories from the 60's to the 80's I fondly recall - when softball, rugby league, a great social life, good friends and the best of times where had most of the time, and especially during the week long rodeo celebratons in the first week of August ... Our Newspaper boss, insisted that his staff give something back to the community and his beloved Rotary Club - He was a good man, and I've never had a boss like him since, and he didn't have to twist anyone's arm to convince them to join him in doing a couple of days work in the main food shed - And, everything was free - A "no brainer" really.... And, I won't and don't profess, "I'm the lucky one", but life's still serving me well, almost 30 years on from my "hey days" of bucking bronco's, champion bulls, Slim Dusty, Show Groups, drinking and dancing ... Thankfully sensibility and responsibility of a family life took precedence over my lifestyle, and Rugby League, a day at the races, and having a good time is never too far away or beyond my capability - Much to the bemusement of my family and friends ... Although, I do have an aversion to horses, after being bitten by one in my teens ... Ouch, that bloody hurt, and "Casper" (the horse), had one hell of a sore jaw ... :-( :-) :-D ... i'll forward the download onto my father-in-law, he's the real lover of all things horses in the family circle and not too bad a footy player back in his day, so he and his footy mates say ... :-D
Brucey
Guest
Yeah funny stuff. Count yourself lucky you're in London mate. I'm in Zurich where the locals have zero knowledge of rl. There is no way they'd a) open the pub early and b) play a decent sport on tv. I watched the game in my apartment where I lost my shit when we won. Neighbor thinks there is a mad man living next door. Go Storm!
I'mastormtrooper2
Guest
Top effort Xavier - Laughter really is the best medicine ... Not sure that the Bulldogs will agree with that for some time yet ... Just a shame that you couldn't find a friend to go with you to the pub - Always better in two's then solo, but, when you're stuck between the Moon and New York City, the best that you can do, is go it alone ... And, I'll remind you that from where I come from, "snake-bites" kill ... Sounds like a dangerous concoction, not unless your intention was to do yourself in if the Doggies won ... So glad you survived, and where able to string two words together, well a little bit more than two words, and everything considered, you did well - The Roar could do with more stories like this ... i don't know who you where barracking for, but I hope you where wearing the colour purple ??? You seemed to be enjoy giving Benny what for, but just so you know, word had it he was never going to outst Billy Slater out of his green and gold jersey ... Ben has a tendancy he go wanting in defence and hides behind play, and although he has had a successful season, unless Slater was injured or mamed, Ben was staying home - Oh, that's right, he was - just another ploy that didn't come off ... Or am I simply stating the obvious ??? Although, even I'll admit Barba had a successful season, on the back of lousy defence from his oppostion ... James Graham is a fool, and I'm sure even Poms wouldn't take kindly to his guttersnipe tactics - He'd do best auditioning for the next Hannibal Lecter movie, as an extra, because he'd fit in well - He's a man eater; and a born lier, who tries to convince people that real, is not, even if it's blatantly obvious ... Just one critique - Billy's error, was marginal compared to the whopper that Barba let through ... Bring on next year !!! But until then, I'll wallow in the moment, be proud of my team, and cheer the Aussie's home next Saturday evening ... :-D
Rugby Realist
Guest
Similar experiences. Last year at the Walkabout in London to watch the Warriors get robbed (by a far superior team that played better on the day) This year, live streming from a quiet bedroom in cologne, Germany. A severe lack of atmosphere
Damn Straight
Roar Rookie
Ha! No false modesty with Oiks. :)
oikee
Guest
Watch part one as well. This guy is probably Australias greatest entertainer. His humour is on par with mine now.
oikee
Guest
Xavier, loved it mate, really did. I could be in the same position as we could be on the move next year, for World cup and job. Hopefully we will be up north. The grand final and Origins in oz are something quite special. I have been to a dozen Origins. and the League finals in Sydney i have never missed on tv. I enjoyed the rugby league world cup at suncorp, now i want to enjoy the world cup in England. Moon doggy. We are nothing but a small comp within world standards. Anyone who has travelled outside our borders know how small rugby league, rugby union, afl really is on the world stage. This guy from Queensland is probably the best the world has ever seen bar none. I will provide the clip and in his field no one is better, the yanks will make him a star. He is bigger than Australia. Mind you i do follow bullriding, so i can see his talent. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgdfbpncD4s&feature=relmfu
Jayne
Guest
Great article Xavier. Laughed my head off. I watched it in New York on the Fox SOCCER CHANNEL at 3 am. As a tragic Storm supporter it was worth it.
Dean - Surry Hills
Guest
Great read Xavier. It brings back memories of watching the Storm being thrashed 40-0 by Manly in the Aussie Bar in Sihanoukville, Cambodia. I had the pleasure of watching the events with a previously unknown veteran in his eighties (Wormald branded) Manly jumper and his faithful near toothless mutt who continually begged for everyone's scraps of bacon.
db swannie
Guest
Great read. Really enjoyed it .
gurudoright
Guest
Xavier, from 12am to 8:15 sounds like my 2003 GF ,2002 and 2003 Bledisloe, 2003 cricket WC Final and 2003 Rugby WC Final. except for the tube it was the walk to the Shepherd Bush Walkie or the Famous three Kings pub at West Kensington. Good times and I miss the atmosphere of those pubs on the big occaisions
Go warriors
Guest
I also had the experience of watching a grand final in London in 2004. Luckily for me the game started at 11.00am local time so it was easy to get to. Great atmoshphere and a great way to unite Aussies and Kiwis living abroad.