Let’s set the scene. It’s day four in the Australia-Sri Lanka Test in Hobart. The Apple Isle has really put on a show today, it’s typically cold and damp and a bumper crowd of 300 have obligingly turned out for the spectacle.
Australia is batting and busy constructing a sizeable lead. With another Sri Lankan innings still to come, they are looking to score quick runs.
Michael Clarke arrives at the crease and makes a quick-fire 57 off 46 deliveries. He clearly remembered to bring his superb form when crossing the Bass Strait.
But with wickets going cheaply, tragedy strikes! Our brave Captain is struck down by a hamstring ‘tweak’ and is forced to retire hurt.
The bottom order adds a couple more runs and Australia is bowled out for 278.
As Sri Lanka come out to bat, the injured Michael Clarke heroically takes his place in the field and after a long day five, Clarke’s charges go on to win the match.
In the post-match wash-up it becomes clear that Clarke’s hamstring injury is less severe than first expected, and with eight days turnaround until the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne, word coming from the Australian camp is that he is likely to be fit.
And while the Australian public rejoices at the news Shane Watson will not be our captain, the cynical among us collectively raise our right eyebrows an inch and shoot out an inquisitive grimace.
Did Clarkey fake a hammy to protect his average?
On the surface it adds up.
There’s the motivation. With multiple centuries (include two doubles and a triple) and an average of more than 100, Michael Clarke was clearly in the form of his life entering the Hobart Test.
After scoring 74 in his first innings, Clarke needed at least 68 runs in the second, or not be dismissed, in order to join the exalted group of Bradman, Sobers and Ponting as the only players to have scored more than 1,000 Test runs in a calendar year while also averaging more than 100.
In retiring hurt (and therefore failing to be dismissed) in his second innings, Clarke’s average was not only protected, it received a boost (the ‘retired hurt’ next to his name effectively reducing the number of dismissals when determining his batting average).
Adding further fuel to the conspiracy, Clarke’s performance in the Hobart Test saw him reach another statistical peak – being named the number one ranked Test batsman in the world.
There’s also the performance. On day five, Clarke dived quickly and freely to his right to claim a ‘classic catch’. Hardly the movement you expect from someone suffering from a pulled hamstring.
And, as anyone who has fielded in the slips will tell you, squatting in situ for four sessions certainly puts a load on the old hammies.
As someone who has experience in this field – having shamefully pulled a fake hamstring injury at the 200m mark of the under-17 400m area heat, upon realising I was going to be severely beaten by superior athletes – I am not one to judge MJ Clarke.
But the Australian public may not be as sympathetic. Because they know as well as anyone that the old maxim rings true: if you dog it, you’re a dog.
Methinks young Michael would much prefer his old sobriquet, Pup.
DubbleBubble
Guest
I do a nice line in tinfoil hats if you're interested.
Maggie
Guest
Tonight's news (see below). Wow that clever Michael Clarke has managed to bluff them all. "MICHAEL CLARKE's hopes of playing in the Boxing Day Test have faded as Australia take a conservative approach with their inspirational captain.................. the hamstrung captain did not break out of a brisk jog at training. Clarke was restricted to run-throughs with physiotherapist Alex Kountouris and walking laps with Inverarity at Sunday's training session before leaving for more scans on his hamstring to check his progress."
Dingo
Guest
Can I have a refund please?
Tim
Guest
I never thought about it like this, but there may be some truth here
amazonfan
Roar Guru
I don't agree with the writer, however I would argue that the only thing unaustralian is your use of the term unaustralian.
DJW
Guest
The way he was batting he would of made another ton, no need to fake it. Some people will bag Clarkey no matter what he does -- Comment left via The Roar's iPhone app. Download it now [http://itunes.apple.com/au/app/the-roar/id327174726?mt=8].
Andy_Roo
Roar Guru
BShine you said it yourself, you faked it in a 400m race. So you are a dog. And you are a dog for even suggesting that Michael clarke would fake it.
AdamS
Roar Guru
In the form of his life but doesn't back himself to get 11 more runs? Really?
dasilva
Guest
so Michael Clarke declaring at 329 when the world record was in his grasp couldn't convince people he wasn't a selfish batsman If he was selfish he would have batted on You think if Michael Clarke was playing for records, he would be aiming for Yousef highest runs in a calendar year. That's far more valuable record to beat than maintaining a 100 + average in a year
dasilva
Guest
I think one of the discussion in the roar was whether Michael Clarke really won over the public or whether all the critics who hated Michael Clarke's gen Y lifestyle just stay silence and wait until Michael Clarke enters bad form until the knives go out again. It turns out we don't have to wait until Michael Clarke reach bad form for the daggers to be out in the open
Jason
Guest
Although this is article is a likely troll, for what it's worth, Clarke retiring hurt probably didn't help his average.
Jay
Guest
This has got to be pure trolling right? If not it's a disgrace.
Steele
Guest
Surely this article was written with tongue in cheek?? Poor journalism regardless. Not even remotely amusing.
TheGenuineTailender
Roar Guru
This is surely just a joke.
pope paul v11
Guest
The damage was enough that it prevented him running between wickets hence no batting. Any idiot can take a catch at slip with a damaged hammy, even me with a torn one, because you have nowhere else to go and plenty of time to concentrate because you are virtually not going to field a ball unless it's a chance. I did wonder whether Clarkey needed to field but suppose being captain and all that and he is a slipper Anyway bshine11 is surely having a lend
Jason
Guest
No re times out in Tests. I think there has only ever been 3 or 4 in all of first class cricket.
Atawhai Drive
Guest
Quite right, Jason. I should have said that Wisden recorded the match as not being first-class, but it could have been 12-a-side. The Sri Lankan batsmen were strongly criticised for their actions in 2001 and no one has dared to try it on again. The possibilities for corruption are unlimited. Moving on, is it true that a first-class cricketer was once recorded as 'retired, dead'? And has anyone ever been timed out in a Test match?
Neuen
Roar Rookie
Law:2:9 -BATSMAN LEAVING THE FIELD OR RETIRING:- • A batsman may retire at any time during his innings. • He must inform the bowler’s end umpire of the reasons • Both the umpires must note down the batsman’s name and reason for retiring, along with the time and the over at which it occurs. • The scorers must note the retirement in the scoring record for the purpose of calculating partnership. A Batsman can retire for the following two different reasons: • (A) He may leave the filed of play due to illness or injury, or • (B) He may retire for some other unavoidable reasons. (A) RETIRING FOR ILLNESS OR INJURY • His innings is interrupted because of injury and a substitute cannot be used to take his place as a batsman. • However, he is not permitted to interrupt the innings of another batsman just because he has recovered. • He can resume his innings after a fall of wicket or another batsman retires. • The fielding side captain has no right for objection. • If he is not required to bat or if he is not fit enough to resume his innings later on, his innings in Score book will be recorded as ‘RETIRED ---NOT OUT”. • His innings will be deemed ‘NOT OUT’, when his batting averages are calculated. (b) RETIRING FOR UNAVOIDABLE REASONS: • A batsman is permitted to leave the field for any other unavoidable reasons. • But when he comes back and wants to resume he may do so with the consent of the opposing captain • The fielding side captain is under no obligation to give his consent. He may give or may not give his consent to resume his innings. • If consent is given he can bat after a fall of wicket or another batsman’s retirement. • If consent is not given, or batsman does not seek to return, his innings will be recorded as ‘RETIRED-OUT”. The innings is deemed completed when his batting averages are calculated. FOR SCORING PURPOSE: Scorers must record the time each batsman starts his innings and the time of his dismissal, should he retire, the time of retirement and should he return, the time he resumes his innings should also be recorded. Only this way his duration of innings recorded. Smith and Amla used option B
Jason
Guest
Wisden has no say in First Class status. The tour match might have been 12 a side which would have settled it. Retiring out is a legitimate way to end an innings. The umps can't stop it.
Atawhai Drive
Guest
It's happened once in a Test match, Sri Lanka v Bangladesh in September 2001. Atapattu and Jayawardene were the two batsmen allowed to end their innings in this way. It had never happened before and it's never happened since. Batsmen normally have to contrive a way of getting out legitimately if they don't want to stick around in the middle. Why the umpires in that match (Rudi Koertzen and Mian Mohammad Aslam) allowed it to happen is anyone's guess. On reflection, you may be right about first-class status. I remember Wisden denied an England tour match first-class status because a couple of batsmen fired themselves. But, away from home and denied access to my Wisdens, I can't check it. Whatever, it's not something we expect or hope to see in a first-class match.