Nothing is more infuriating than watching Australian cricketers having a laugh with opposition when the situation is 277 without loss, as David Warner was yesterday in Mohali.
How easy and un-intimidating Test cricket must feel for Indian debutant Shikhan Dwahan, who treated the Australian attack like they’d been pulled out of a country pub due to a player shortage.
The left-handed opener brought up his ton in just 85 balls – the fastest in history on debut – before finishing the day unbeaten on 183.
The ease at which he and Murali Vijay (83no) toyed with finger spinners Nathan Lyon and Xavier Doherty was utterly embarrassing for the pair.
However, even more pathetic is the demeanour of the Australian team.
They have about as much grit as a polished brass knob.
No, spineless is a more appropriate description.
Phil Hughes is a rabbit in the headlights. I can’t remember seeing an Australian top order batsman look so meek at the crease – his Test career looks shot.
Doherty should never play red ball cricket for Australia again after Vijay and Dwahan clobbered him for 57 off 10 overs.
There should be a Royal Commission into how he was selected for this series in the first place.
Nathan Lyon is about as threatening as Jeff the Wiggle. He and Doherty could be the only spin bowlers in India that don’t want to bowl, and these wickets are genuine turners! He didn’t look like getting a wicket.
Opening pair David Warner (71) and Ed Cowan (86) probably gave each other a pat on the back behind closed doors after their 139 run opening stand, but when are they going to learn that once you get a start you must go on and score big hundreds?
I wonder if Warner cares enough, and the problem with Cowan is once he got to 86 you still felt he was 90 minutes away from reaching a ton. He lacks intent.
There are only two Aussie cricketers who show the sort of aggression, competitiveness, fight, mongrel – call it whatever you like – that the Australian public expects from its players.
Coincidentally they’re both Victorians – Peter Siddle and James Pattinson.
Granted Siddle has been disappointing in this series but at least he bores in and looks like he cares. He shows heart. He’ll dig in when the chips are down. Most of his team-mates are downhill skiers.
Michael Clarke is a superstar and has proved himself in a crisis with the bat but the time for smiling in the field is over. A fish rots from the head and he too needs to harden up when the pads are off.
Steve Smith can hold his head high after showing positive intent at the crease for his 92, and although he got smacked when he bowled at least he showed some emotion and looked genuinely irate about what was happening.
He let fly with a few F-bombs and gave Ed Cowan a nice old spray when his overthrow at short-leg let Vijay off strike in the final session.
Mitchell Starc’s 99 batting at nine deserves praise, but the manner in which he got out doesn’t.
After playing and missing outside off stump for two consecutive deliveries, you’d have thought he’d leave the third one alone. Snick. It was dumb cricket.
India finished the day 0/283 in reply to Australia’s 408 to all but stitch up the Border-Gavaskar Trophy.
If there was a mercy rule in cricket I’m tipping Australia would enforce it given the complete lack of defiance among the majority of this touring party in India.
Mark Murray is a Melbourne-based journalist and lifelong sports nut. He is currently on the subcontinent covering Australia’s cricket tour of India. Follow Mark on Twitter @markcmuzza
Travis680
Guest
I agree that the Aussies are performing badly, but we have to stick with Hughes, he's young and obviously very talented. Yes he's had a rough time but I believe a inform Hughes is a key to the Aussies winning the ashes. A inform Mitchell Johnson is also important so give him a chance in the final test, he also gives the batting line up a boost. Maxwell instead of henriques, yes henriques batted really well in the first test but I think maxwell is a better batsman, he also has the spin bowling option. Put young people in the team and let them develop. Cowans played alot of tests now and his average is poor, needs to do something quick. Ashes batting line up. Warner Hughes Watson Kwajaji (however u spell it) Clarke (seems to only bat well at five) Wade Maxwell (explosive batsman but a risk) Johnson or bird Siddle Patterson Lyon (best we have :(
Silver_Sovereign
Guest
I think for the fourth test the all rounder craze should be finished forever until a great one comes along. smith can bowl some spin as can warner, that's enough. specialist players all through the 11 would help. warner, cowan, hughes, khawaja, smith, wade, haddin, starc, Johnson, pattinon, siddle. This is taking into account just the players who are available with clarkes back taking him out most likely and wade back in a batting only capacity. moises is not good enough batting or bowling to hold his place
Silver_Sovereign
Guest
ahh we have 3 spinners in Australia who for one reason or another haven't been picked but should be in the ashes squad. ahmed, agar and okeefe. lyon and Doherty should never play for Australia again
Silver_Sovereign
Guest
Neville? ha paine and Hartley are ahead of them at the very least. the aussie team cant all be nsw
Silver_Sovereign
Guest
at least hayden had something to be proud about. hayden had a slow start to his test career but his first class avg was always fifty or over. cowans fc average is 40 so I don't expect his test batting to get any better than weve already seen
Robert
Guest
We'll see, won't we, but who gives a toss right now........one day at a time mate!
Robert
Guest
Totally agree, so far this series our "spinners" have taken less wickets and gone for more runs than our quicks. Why can't the selectors see that our slow bowlers cannot maintain pressure on the batsmen, they leak runs everywhere and we are feeding the Indians strength! Surely it's time to say that we don't have the talent in slow bowling, play 4 quicks, plus Moises!
Steele
Guest
Good stuff Luke, I've been whistling the same tune all summer!! When will the selectors pick players on performance and not potential?? Simply picking the best performed players based on statistics and ignoring age would no doubt give Australia a better chance. It's not rocket science.
Bearfax
Guest
Well. What do you know. Hughes finally stopped worrying about how to deal with spinners and just got on with the job. 'Bout time Hughes. I certainly knew you had it in you. You obviously didnt until today. If you can just get through the first half dozen overs, during which time you usually get twitchy, I think you can give Oz a big boost with a top century. You've got it in you Hughes, Just got to believe in yourself. Meanwhile noticed Cowan went back to one of his many brief stays with a 9 when we did need him to stick around. And I think the selectors should take close note of who got most of the wickets and at a tidy rate. The fast bowlers. We need four of them in the next test along with Khawaja.
English Twizz
Guest
Can england win the ashes 10 - 0 this year would be great
Mark Murray
Roar Rookie
Thanks for all your comments guys! Good to see Hughes stick it up me late today with a streaky half century, and Siddle again tried his heart out and got rewarded - 5/71 from nearly 30 overs of toil a fine effort.
Wil
Guest
fadida the way Starc got out on 99 was pathetic, Bowler or not. And Siddle is proving the author right today, has three wickets...
Brad
Guest
Australia are a timid rabble. Lyon often has a silly grin on his face after he gets walloped to the boundary, or over it! That is nothing to smile about. The way half of them prance around is a disgrace, where has there sense of entiltment come from. Cowan HAD to go on and make a big hundred but didnt again. 80 odd is not good enough!!!! And you couldnt argue that the way Starc got out wasn't plain dumb! I think this is a terrific and honest article!
Wil
Guest
Good article, couldn't agree more.
James
Guest
Disco - check Doherty's record for the last 3 shield seasons prior to this one and you'll see he has taken wickets at an average under 30 for 3 years running. Saying that he isn't good enough for first class cricket is ridiculous. As is saying he is good enough for test cricket
Varun
Guest
+2
Varun
Guest
Khawaja needs to come in for Hughes
Varun
Guest
His interview was a joke, why bring Chappell into his interview, he didn't get. 200 or 100
Varun
Guest
Cowan was lucky, no doubt about it
Varun
Guest
Agree fully brendon