A mate of mine and I were at our local bowling club the other night and we were discussing the outwardly obnoxious behaviour of a mutual friend of ours – using the ‘friend’ loosely.
Said “friend” – let’s call him Kevin – is a Collingwood supporter and while he’s always normally a dribbler he gets even worse during the footy season.
It was then that it suddenly dawned on me – every Collingwood supporter I’ve ever met is the same.
During the footy season they’re even more rude, one-eyed, pigheaded, loud, and arrogant than normal.
It was at that point when I had an epiphany. It’s the “chicken-and-the egg” thing all over again.
I turned to my mate and said, “I wonder what comes first?”
“What do you mean he replied”?
“Well,” I said. “Do you have to be prat to be a Collingwood supporter or once you start following Collingwood does the very fact that you are now a Magpies fan suddenly turn you into a prat?”
“Hmmm, good question,” he replied.
Collingwood, not unlike Manly in the NRL, polarise people. You either love them or you hate them.
In most cases I think this is a little unfair because they’re both more than average footy teams, but it’s indisputable that they both don’t enjoy much love from outside their supporter base.
Just about every derogative AFL footy joke you’ve ever heard is about Collingwood.
Q: Why don’t you run over a Collingwood supporter on a pushbike?
A: Because it’s probably your bike.
Q: Why did the Collingwood supporter cross the road?
A: Centrelink was on the other side.
Q: How do you inflict 12 months of acute pain on a Pies supporter?
A: Buy them a membership for Christmas!
Q: What do u say to a Collingwood supporter with a job?
A: I’ll have fries with that thanks.
Q: Two Collingwood Supporters in a car without any music, who is driving?
A: The Policeman
The list goes on…
Perhaps it’s unfair, perhaps it’s not but I can’t help but feeling that like the chicken and the egg I we may never have an answer to this conundrum.
I guess we may never know which came first, the chicken (i.e. Collingwood) or the egg (in this case, well let’s just call him Evil Kev)?
Juggler
Guest
You may never have seen Collingwood supporters spit on their own players, but that was the standard welcome onto the ground to the opposition at the old Victoria Park. I still remember, as a young boy, watching the Collingwood fans gather around the cyclone wire that covered the race to spit on my heroes. I will never understand why Leigh Matthews went to coach a club where the supporters once abused him and spat on him. My only penance, is that in 50 years you have failed to win a Grand Final in September. Sorry, freak October Grand Finals don't break your September Colliwobbles.
good kev
Guest
hear,hear boydy...well said mate...geeeee some people read with one eye open....:)
Boydy
Guest
Who do you lot think was thee first person I sent a link to this article to? No, I don't suppose any of you have enough intelligence to work that out so I'll tell you. My mate Kevin who it was written about. Kevvie and I have been mates for years and long taking the mickey out one on another. You sanctimonious cretans can't see an obvious p***take when you see one. As for getting a life Richard, perhaps it is you that should take a long hard look at oneself. I wrote in this article, and I quote, "Collingwood, not unlike Manly in the NRL, polarise people. You either love them or you hate them. In most cases I think this is a little unfair because they’re both more than average footy teams" So if you were smart enough to read between the lines, which obviously you are not, you would have seen my tongue firmly pressed against the inside my cheek!
Ramjet
Guest
What a gutless article calling someone a "friend" but not really a "friend" because he follows Collingwood. I am sure Collingwood must be shattered to hear you don't like them. Football is not some popularity contest where the least hated team is the winner! Who do you follow loser......
Floreat Pica
Guest
With a young son just growing his teeth my favourite retort at the moment is: we're all born Collingwood supporters, so it's us against the traitors. Glad to be the team that gives the sport it's passion.
john smith
Guest
What a load.. stereotyping makes you sound so naive
Richard
Roar Guru
What a load of garbage this article really is. Kicking Collingwood supporters is a lame hobby for a thickhead with no imagination. I've been going to the football for many years and I can tell you all teams have got their allocation of bogans. I suspect the author of this article is one of them. One thing I have always admired about Collingwood supporters is their loyalty. I've never seen Collingwood supporters spit on their players, even during the dark years of the Collywobbles Hey Boydy-in-Brisbane. Get a life.
Keith WA
Guest
I am a Collingwood supporter of many years standing and, of course, proud of it. Not only am I great company, but I am highly intelligent, well-read and have all my teeth. I am also devilishly handsome and the fact that I'm a Pies supporter is only the icing on the cake. Why would someone like me, who has it all, stoop to following a lesser footy team?
Anthony
Guest
I was close friends with a C/wood fan. She would go to the footy on Saty a/noon, then to the opera. Beryl was a fanatic at the footy & a successful business woman during the week. Enjoyable company over dinner & a woman to be reckoned with. And she had all her teeth!
Boydy
Guest
A bit of levity John. Would you rather I take up the white space on the website with stories on drug and sex scandals? Where's your sense of humour mate. I'll bet you're a Footy Show hater aren't you? I'm sick to death of sport in this country being dragged through the mud, you on the other hand seem the type of person who probably loves it. Lighten up buddy and don't take everything so seriously.
Phelpsy
Guest
+100
John Mitchell
Guest
What even is this? An article? An opinion piece? Sorry mate, but even as a neutral supporter, it's pieces like these in which are the obnoxious 'dribble'. Even the worser collingwood supporter - I'd say the 48 year old woman with her four kids and the terrible shrieking voice is the worst - could come up with something more significant and relevant. How and why would the Roar even publish this?