Having dealt with the tragic deaths of two friends – both fellow rugby league players – in just two months, Wests Tigers’ Eddy Pettybourne says enough is enough.
The back-rower says the NRL community cannot continue to let its young Polynesian stars struggle with deep personal problems alone.
Pettybourne and the Tigers were rocked by the death of 20-year-old forward Mosese Fotuaika, who took his own life in March after tearing a pectoral muscle during a routine weights drill.
Pettybourne was again hit hard when he learned of the tragic death of North Queensland’s young hooker Alex Elisala, also 20, which he found out about on Twitter.
Just a fortnight ago the pair were in camp together as Samoa teammates, preparing for an international against Tonga.
“He was really quiet. But he was a good kid,” Pettybourne told AAP.
“He had his head straight and was always laughing.
“I spoke to him last week through Twitter, we were having a laugh. Then all of a sudden it’s happened.”
Elisala died on Monday after his life support system was switched off, following an off-field incident.
“It was not long ago Mosese passed away … It’s not good. I don’t want to see it happening again,” said the softly-spoken Pettybourne.
He hops the NRL can do more to ensure young Polynesians are afforded help to deal with the pressures they feel from a relatively early age, often while living away from their family support group – and to remove the stigma that surrounds depression.
Young Polynesian stars often feel a weight of responsibility to provide for their families and are also less likely to open up on their fears and problems, according to Pettybourne and teammate Ben Murdoch-Masila.
“A lot of pressure is building up in their own minds,” Murdoch-Masila said.
“With my mate Mosese, he had a lot of pressure … feeling as though he had to give back to his family.
“His missus was pregnant.
“There’s a lot of things probably running through his head and I think it just got the best of him.
“Some Polynesians tend to hide their feelings a little bit. They hold back.
“When I first came into NRL and first grade training, I held back a bit. I didn’t really talk to anyone for the first six months.”
Pettybourne and Murdoch-Masila both offered their services to the NRL to help talk to young players.
“Someone needs to help these players out,” Pettybourne said. “Because it’s hard.”
The fear is that a generation of talented young Islanders may have unrealistic expectations about their futures because of the high profile of the NRL’s under-20s competition which has featured matches twice a week on pay television.
The leap to regular first grader then appears to be well within reach but statistically the odds are still against players going on to have an established, well-paying top flight career.
And if that career progression doesn’t follow the same path the player had hoped it would through to first grade, the pressure begins to build.
“It’s hard playing from 20s onwards, where do you go from there?” Pettybourne says.
“If you make 20s and break through first grade, you’ll be alright but lots don’t.
“And that’s probably where I think they get stuck.
“What are they going to do for work? They only want to play footy.
“That’s why it’s a bit hard. I would like to help.”
Their stance is supported by a poll of 100 NRL players conducted by Rugby League Week, which found one in five players admitted to having suffered depression.
The alarming figure highlights the widespread problem across the game, and the need for support across all levels of the sport.
“And they (the players) have to tell you (what’s wrong). That’s the hard thing, because you don’t know,” Pettybourne said.
“I didn’t know that Mosese had problems or anything like that.
“It could’ve been (what happened on) that day, or whatever it was. I’m not sure.
“It’s so hard because those boys are always smiling.
“But they’re quiet. I’ve found out it’s the quiet ones you’ve got to look out for.
“It could be anyone.”
* Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, MensLine Australia 1300 78 99 78, or Multicultural Mental Health Australia www.mmha.org.au
Pot Stirrer
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Ra
Guest
Yes Pot you are right, it does go across all cultures, but in this case we are talking about the involvement of family as being a major player in this intervention because historically the wider family social structure is the health & wellbeing heart beat of Polynesian society and this is underpinned by Mason Durie's mental health strategy, te whare tapawha
Pot Stirrer
Guest
@Allblack Fan ??????????????? if its not an illness what is it, Its not exclusive to any race, and to blame it on a family break down is just plain wrong, People from all cultures are affected by this
allblackfan
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This is as much a cultural thing as anything else. Anyone who calls this an illness really has no idea!! Having moved here to NZ (with 20+years of living in Australia behind me), I can see there is a real sense of community here that anyone who grows up in will take with them to Aust (either as a player or the parent of a player). For those two young kids to die the way they did indicates a real breakdown in the family support structure (Aboriginal players will be able to relate to this but doubtful if anglo players can). It's not acceptable. Look at SBW: the best playing performance (RU or RL) he's put in was at the Chiefs because he felt like part of the family (cultural adjustments not withstanding). Trying to relate to a club where you're treated as a commodity is a whole different story. I'm half anglo, half fijian. If a club official started treating me like a ``product'', I'd smash him in the face (that's both sides talking) and walk out on the club. I would also have a hard time explaining my problems to anyone I couldn't empathise with!
Kazzie
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It is better to bring it out into the open. For too long there has been a stigma about suicide which has only made it harder for people to speak up when they were not coping and becoming suicidal. I think the goal has been to make people more aware that we need to look out for on another more. While yes there may be programs in place in the NRL, we still have an issue of "if you speak up your weak as a man". Just because these guys were footballers, they are still human beings with the same emotions, pressures we all have. They still suffer as we all do. They also may have need of support like we all do. If by bringing this to public attention, they highlight this issue and get change happening in our community where we encourage people to get help when they are struggling rather than making them feel like a failure or less of a man, then something positive will have come from these tragedies. In terms of these young players, maybe look at creating a peer support network where a senior footballer may be linked with a younger player and touches base with them on a regular basis and can help them access support when they are struggling to cope with the pressure of having to support their family back home. The only problem I can envisage is that like most people who are struggling is getting these young men to feel comfortable about opening up about their problems even when support is provided.
Ra
Guest
Ditto BA, sorry said the same thing as you, but in different speak
Ra
Guest
Thanks for putting up the website. Nice to see the strategic overview. Yes you are right, building blocks have been put in place by the NRL to support development outside of the game according to the data, and good on them. I agree these players are pleading for further intervention, but that intervention to be specific to meet their needs as young Polynesian men alienated from their culture and extended family heritage. That is not to decry all others, but to say thank you everyone, but we need intervention from people who not only know what it's like to be an aspiring profession, but someone who can see the world through my cultural eyes, walk in my footsteps and have an innate understanding of who I am. That would mean a combination of health professional support through a Samoan cultural viewpoint, and with aiga (family) support. Nothing wrong with that. N.B. Someone represents a person, persons, group, organisation etc
Moonshine
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I thought this is why they didnt publicise suicides because of the copycat factor amongst depressed people...However these days hard to keep it quiet.....
oikee
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Exactly B.A, but 2 dead means we need to do more. We know the problem , now we need to fix it. I had a idea of making sure that under 20 players have to spend at least 1 year in the reserve grade, NSW or QLD cups. That will just relieve some pressure, give them more time to think and mature. Its a idea, that is all, i am a ideas man.
oikee
Guest
That is why you have to talk about it, i recovered from a gambling problem, admitting it was the first step. I think illness is also in the same boat. I have told this story many times on the Roar. My Brother in law was psychofrenic, he never even knew he had a problem. The hard part is the effects it has on families and not knowing, that was hard. My own daughter also had a seisure, i had no idea what that was, and i thought she had died. Talking about it, bringin it into the open helps. It will be a game changer the more we learn. Mind you, i still have never seen a dead person, touch wood.
oikee
Guest
Yes, it is the same arguement i have with gambling and the seriousness the government takes it when they allow the Melbourne cup to teach people how to gamble, and horse racing is our third biggest market, something like that. The point is, if rugby league can introduce a duty of care towards players who are not likely to talk about problems,. (which in rugby league has always been a big factor in manhood) then they will break down one barrier. Farmers are also a major issue, and they have a workers group who try to help and deal with this problem. Yes,, it is widespread, and as i did flood recovery in the bush here in Toowoomba, i seen first hand what and how real it really is, very sensitive, very real. Nice report for a huge problem right across the board. Well done.
B.A Sports
It is sad, and i don't doubt the relevance to the Polyneasian community and expectations of young stars. I'm sure similar studies have been done in the US with Black ahtletes coming from poverty and the impact family has when they start making money and the pressures to support large families. My understanding is the NRL do a fair bit in the welfare space, probably above and beyond what they are required to and what most of us recieve from our employers. They can probably tailor something to the Polynesian community, but I would think that it is a bigger societal issue within that community and should be something experts are funding and driving (with the help of athletes not by athletes)
Pot Stirrer
Guest
The problem is with the illness, it doesnt matter what programs you put in place when the core of the illness is a person who in thier own mind feel weak by saying im not coping and do thier best to hide it becuase while your feeling down you dont want others to worry about you, especially family.
Love The Game
Guest
It is all very sad, but fair suck of the sav. I don't want to sound heartless, but this is not a problem confined to football stars. This is a problem in the society itself, and I would suggest our footballers have more done for them in this area, then the general public. They definately have more ongoing help available to them. I think the statistics are 2000-2500 suicide deaths per year in Australia, with 75% of them males. A lot of these deaths are in Urban areas or Regional areas. The rate of New Zealand born deaths per 100,000 is quite high, but the majority of them are not footballers. It is a myth that it is young person problem, the majority of suicide deaths are actually 30-50 year olds. So yes, it is a problem, but it is something that needs to be looked at on a bigger level then just footballers. As I said, they actually have more support available to them then the general public. There is a lot of work put into this with footballers, and they have many avenues available to get help. http://www.rugbyleague.com.au/nrlwelfare/files/CDAA_presentation_NRL_2012.pdf I am sure it would be a kick in the guts for the people involved in this program when it is suggested not enough is being done. I think the NRL does plenty. I think what Pettyborne and Murdoch-Masila have suggested is the next step. I really believe that it is the senior players who need to take more responsibility and get out there and talk to these young blokes. Establish a relationship. Maybe a big brother type program, where each player from the senior squad, has one young bloke they take under their wing.