Perfect storm of sport hitting our shores

As clouds gathered in recent weeks over the eastern seaboard and the heavens unleashed bucket loads of rain, the sporting gods have united to produce a confluence of events unseen at any other time during 2013.

Don’t be fooled by the sunny skies, we are in the midst of a perfect storm, the genesis of which can be traced to Canberra, where the Astro Boy of global politics, Kevin Rudd, has created a whirlwind to jettison colleagues into the stratosphere before the party’s possible solstice in September or October.

Such an extreme weather event is dominated by the fast-approaching front moving south from Queensland. Two high-pressure systems – one maroon and one blue – will soon butt heads in Sydney. Emergency powers will swing into action as Barry O’Farrell invokes a state of chaos.

Let’s not pull any punches, the biff is back and there’s sure to be gallons of blood left on the pitch should Billy Slater, Cameron Smith and Cooper Cronk unleash Melbourne Storm-inspired footy to clinch the series.

You can roar like a lion and express disapproval at this likely result or hop up and down in your lounge room and support the Wallabies.

Bullish up front and with a backline showing spine in defence and some Campese-like flair in attack, the game they play in heaven could be behind green and gold gates.

Meanwhile, in northern climes, flash flooding of tears at Wimbledon has been avoided thus far. With the early exit of cyclones Serena and Sharapova, claps of thunderous thighs and high-pitched hectopascals have thankfully been short lived on centre court.

Tornado Tomic hung around like a dank, dark English day but was Australia’s only sliver of sunshine during a week which also saw hail storm Hewitt hover and weaken into a tropical low.

It’s left to Marion Bartoli, Sabine Lisicki, Andy Murray, Novak Djokovic, Juan Martin del Potro and Jerzy Janowicz to rain on each other’s parade. Let’s play!

Staying in the same hemisphere, I’m all for taking the Mickey Arthur out of the Australian cricket squad but there’s no way of halting the firestorm soon to engulf the entire team at Trentbridge.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in Michael Clarke all we must trust. He’s taking the heat on a number of fronts: a dodgy lower back, David Warner’s impetuous indiscretions, vice captaincy woes and his recently relinquished job as selector have added fuel to the fire.

But perhaps there is a saviour who should share the same dressing room as our skipper.

With ball and a pristine Aussie passport in hand, a new sheik of tweek could douse the flames by toppling England’s batsmen. Leg-spinner Fawad Ahmed is the new face of Australia. Stop the boats? Silly idea. If they can spin, let ‘em in Tony.

The July weather cycle is a frenzy in France. At sea level and on mountaintops oxygen and moisture is critical to the survival of competitors in le Tour de France. A lycra-clad fog of velos is quickly enveloping some 3500 odd kilometres of French countryside.

Look to the Sky and you’ll see Chris Froome chasing a jersey emblazoned in yellow. Alberto Contador is yet to vent his fury in the mountains, as is the Colombian climber Nairo Quintana, a dark horse who would look good in polko dots.

But for now it’s impossible not to join the Jayco caravan and chase down these marvelous men on their cycling machines. Led by generous Gerro, Stuey the journeyman and marvelous Meyer, the Aussie team has the edge and everyone else is green with envy.

You might be bleary eyed and sleep deprived but don’t underestimate the present climatic events.

Hunker down during this stormy month of July and enjoy the games, for the sun will still rise in the morning, rain, hail or shine.