Our irony is England's ecstasy

My mother actually told me there would be days like these. Strange days indeed, when the English would defeat Australia in the tightest, most heartbreaking and (some may say) controversial of ways.

My mother is a sporting mum. Not the kind that would scream bloody murder at the teenaged referee of an under 8s football game while abusing the lines judge for nothing other than seemingly his or her willingness to be there.

More the kind who would plot out an under 8s cricket opponent’s downfall like she was General Patton planning the breakthrough at the Battle of the Bulge.

She once swam an Olympic qualifying time and was a South Sydney cheerleader; she loved sports and still does.

But her most prudent of sporting advice came as a warning of watching future English glory days.

They were spoken after the 1989 Ashes series, the first where I became cognisant of the series’ significance, its history and the enjoyment of watching the baggy greens defeating England.

I had watched David Boon wrap up that series and became full of boastful teenaged assuredness.

It stemmed from a then-seemingly obvious belief that this will be the new normal, that Australia would never again feel the coldness of English metered defeat.

My mother was much more circumspect, even wise in her quelling of my confidence.

“Enjoy it now,” she said. “Some day you’ll remember these moments as the good old days.”

Were it not my mother saying such things, the 12 year old me would have dismissed them as the words of lunatic.

But as it was I politely nodded and went back to my room to play the Test Match cricket board game with my little brother, forcing him to be England as I once again trounced his pre-pubescent, Eddie Hemmings-styled skills.

And for the rest of my teenaged-ness this belief rang true, as the worm of English victory proved very slow in turning.

My formative sporting years were spent in bliss watching series after series of English woefulness as the likes of Mike Gatting, Allan Lamb, Alec Stewart, Mike Atherton and Nasser Hussein tried in vein to rail against what I knew to be the truth: That England just couldn’t possibly beat us, could they!?

Of course, by my mid 20s I had realised the circle of life can also account for the fleeting fortunes of your favourite sporting team, not just a lion king.

None the less, despite this revelation, 2005 was still an unexpectedly very bad year.

It was a year in which I sat glumly watching St George Illawarra go down to Wests Tigers in a preliminary final I was sure they were specials to win, while my mate’s girlfriend, a mad Tigers fan, danced on the seats next to me.

And it was the year England defeated Australia in a luckless though admittedly amazing Ashes series.

Luckless because even before a six stitcher had been bowled the great Glen McGrath fell victim to a sinister practice ball that sprained Pigeon’s ankle and seemingly snapped Australia’s hopes.

The series was amazing because those hopes were resurrected, firstly by an epic first Test victory and secondly by a just as epic yet painfully close second Test loss.

During that second Test at Edgbaston in 2005 the heroic but ultimately futile batting efforts of Brett Lee and Shane Warne, ably assisted by Michael Kasprowicz, saw Australia come within two runs of a 2-nil series lead.

Kaspa’s feathered edge to the keeper proved to be the feather edged difference between the two sides.

England won the tightest of matches and went on to win the tightest of series.

And so now it’s 2013 and England have a 1-nil series lead thanks to a luckless feathered edge and an amazingly lucky, some might say undeserved, escape.

(As I alluded to in a recent article, Stuart Broad’s great escape by no means should be seen as a reason for Australia’s loss. But perhaps as some form of penance to cricket’s mythical gentlemanly gods, Broad should be made to pick every last splinter out of that ball he so firmly hit.)

A heroic yet ultimately futile batting effort by Brad Haddin ably assisted by Peter Siddle and James Pattinson saw Australia come within 14 runs of a 1-nil series lead.

Haddin’s feathered edge ultimately proved the feathered edged difference between the two sides in this brilliant first Test match.

Lets hope history doesn’t repeat itself in that the slightest of English victories once again proves the marginal difference in another fabled yet forlorn Australian Ashes campaign.