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The NRL's real conspiracy is uncovered!

19th September, 2013
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Johnathan Thurston's Cowboys could be headed towards another decider. (AAP Image/Action Photographics, Colin Whelan).
Roar Guru
19th September, 2013
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4026 Reads

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but there have been whispers of a conspiracy theory doing the rounds of the NRL at the moment.

The theory goes that NSW journalists, upset about losing one or two State of Origin series in a row, have conspired with the refs and the NRL to get an all Sydney grand final.

This, of course, is totally believable – until you think about it for more than one second.

If they are upset at losing Origin and are capable of rigging a league game, don’t you think that they would rig the SOO so NSW would win?

Then it hit me; the truth is scarier than the theory.

Origin is rigged!

Think about it. The NSW team has bordered on team of the century status for years now and yet can’t beat a Queensland team totally devoid of a player worthy of playing for Ipswich third grade.

The initial plan was to win “two or three”, according to an inside source.

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“But they got carried away and are now scared of being exposed,” he went on to add.

But people clever and cunning enough to pull off eight Origin wins in a row are clever enough to cover up their tracks.

They devised a devilish plan to throw it back in the face of the cockroaches they hate so much.

All Queensland NRL teams were ordered to throw matches this year so that they could claim a NSW conspiracy against Queeslanders in the hope of covering up the truth.

The Cowboys played their part perfectly, apparently getting in the refs head by counting the tackles for them:

Ref: “One, two, three, four, five…”

Johnathan Thurston: “…No, it’s four, sir.”

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Ref: “Oh… thanks. Four, five.”

Sharks: Try.

Thurston was also great at the conference, after asking no less than three forwards to do a Sammy Squirrel grip on his nuts to help make him look sad.

The cat was nearly out of the bag when Brent Tate, who hasn’t been told of the conspiracy ‘because no one trusts a union player’ spoke with logic and common sense and claimed there was no conspiracy.

But wait, is that just part of the plan also?

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