The Roar
The Roar

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Are the cool Kiwis rustling the beige boring ‘Roos?

9th October, 2013
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Hey JT, if you don't want to play for the Kangaroos, don't play for the Kangaroos. (AAP Image/Dave Hunt)
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9th October, 2013
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The Rugby League World Cup is just over two weeks away but already the world champion New Zealanders have dealt the top ranked Kangaroos a devastating psychological blow.

Yes, they are cooler than us.

With the release of the twenty-four man squads for the competing fourteen nations a number of things have become clear.

That is that Fiji are not going to struggle for pace in the outside backs, Charlie Tonga is the most aptly named coach of all time and that Tim Sheens is really, really desperate to win this tournament.

I’m talking Parramatta desperate. NSW desperate.

Blake Ferguson climbing through the kitchen window desperate.

This fact became evident with the naming of an Australian squad that could bore the headgear off Jamie Buhrer.

Smith, Boyd, Gallen…Sheens has even gone and chosen Corey Parker, a bloke that while statistically immortal, would appear more at home these days with a good detective novel and a cup of Earl Grey tea than on tour getting up to no good.

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Yep, as a man getting paid by the ARL (and Wests Tigers!) to watch footy and organise tickets to the London Tower for ten months of the year, Sheens is well aware that a World Cup loss would be a dirty big steamer on an otherwise sterling run sheet.

So he’s played it safe. Don’t get me wrong, the Kangaroos squad is sound. It does however lack a certain pizazz, zing, an X-Factor.

No bolters, no smokies, no trace of the ‘enigmatic’.

Cast an eye across the Tasman however and things are very different.

There’s the fiery Jared Weaera-Hargraves, the unpredictable Manu Vatuvei and the flamboyantly brilliant Shaun Johnson…all this coached by the Brisbane Broncos water boy.

And, to top everything off the Jewel in the Kiwi crown, the inclusion of Sonny Bill Will-he or won’t he after the big man managed to reschedule a few of his boxing/skiing/rapping/acting commitments to lend a hand.

For a long, long time Australia has been the top draw card when it comes to international rugby league, thanks to some fantastic players and a winning record second only to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

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But the tide appears to finally be turning, with the Kiwis now hogging much of the World Cup hype this time around.

This is clearly unacceptable, and if the Kangaroos are keen to get back to the top of the cool podium (and maybe win back the Cup) then they’re going to have to shake things up.

We’ve been complacent for far too long.

Something the Roos might try is following the host nation’s lead by holding an exotic pre-tournament training camp (I hear Bali is nice this time of year) or hold a hilarious beard growing competition like they did in 2000.

Out Sonny Billing the Kiwis is an obvious option for a couple of headlines, and I fail to see how bringing back Darren Lockyer, Gorden Tallis or Ross Conlon would make the green and gold any worse off, it’s unlikely Conlon has lost any of his pace anyway.

The English press would lap it up, and most importantly at the same time we’d be putting those upstarts from across the ditch back in their place.

That is, on the other side of the draw so we get to play England in the final like everyone wants.

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