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Following last year’s performance many of you will be ‘supporters’ of this side. But even more of you are actually not supporters of the Roosters. This is for you guys.
Last season they finished first, with 40 competition points and were crowned premiers. However, this was only because of some ordinary refereeing decisions and because they are 10 million dollars over the salary cap.
The Coach
Trent Robinson is already a premiership winning coach and Dally M coach of the year after his first season.
It’s safe to say, judging by a previous coach with similar results in his first year and the Roosters track record for firing coaches, that he will be coaching some basket-case team by 2018.
He will bounce around there for a few years before being appointed by his mother, Buzz Rothfield, the Sydney media and himself as the single greatest coach of all time after coaching NSW to two Origin series losses.
He will then be hired by Parramatta where he will exceed all expectations by leading them to four wins.
Even if he lasts more than a few years at the Roosters there is little to no chance of continued success because he kind of has red hair. And read heads creep me out.
The Superstar
I want to say $BW but everyone knows he is giving up on league and union to try his hand at mexican cup stacking.
So that leaves a choice between a few guys, the worst origin half of all time, some weird guy who enjoys talking about his ‘alone time’ on the footy show, some scumbag hooker who belongs in prison, Boyd Cordner and a centre who scored the winning try in the grand final but just about killed himself attempting to do so.
So in other words the true star of this team is none other than Sam Moa, mainly for his awesome performance belting Glen Stewart in the grand final all day. Top work Sam! You are a good bloke.
So yeah, this team is basically stacked and we all wish we had this kind of quality in our side, unless we already do.
The Hated Player
Uhh is all of them an appropriate answer here?
Fine I will choose one. Assuming $BW is gone the most hated player would be Jared Waerea-Hargreaves.
JWH is a grub, his name is annoying to spell and on top of that he is really good.
When he isn’t busy knocking the most beloved players in the game (read Danny Buderus) the hell out, or clotheslining overweight buffoons (read George Rose) he is dominating your forward pack.
In conclusion not only does he prey on the slow and weak but he is so damn good we would hate him anyway to begin with.
Why They Suck
Roosters fans pretend to be classy, but really they are the same bogans that support all the other Sydney RL teams.
On top of that they are both one of the most spoiled and one of the most fair weather fan-bases in the entire NRL. They have won 12 premierships, including two since the NRL was formed and have been to six grand finals in that time frame.
They also miss the finals once every few years and we have to watch them rebuild overnight.
But the second they have one poor season they call for the head of whoever is coaching, be it some loser like Ricky Stewart or a club hero like Brad Fittler, and stop attending games.
No team ever goes back to back except the Broncos of the late 90s and even they did it with the help of a weakened Super League competition.
They also are probably going to lose their best player in $BW and everyone knows he is the single greatest athlete on the planet. Or at least Channel 9 tell me he is.
Speaking of Channel 9 this team was so overexposed by the channel its ridiculous. We get it they have SBW. I want to hear more about the Burgesses or how good Ricky Stuart is.
Their custodian is a Sesame Street character or something and is 300 years old and no longer has a human back as it was removed during surgery in about 2005.
Plus he always just manages to get the job done while looking as uncomfortable as possible.
Why They Don’t Suck
Ok, so even without Sonny-Bill this is still the best defensive team in the league, one of the top few attacking sides and obviously have a top notch recruiting and coaching staff.
They also just won the premiership with a relatively young side and most are returning next season. They will be just fine.
Top five worst things Roosters have done to the NRL:
1. Hired Ricky Stuart
2. Discovered George Rose
3. Beaten the Warriors in a GF
4. Potentially murdered Danny Buderus
5. Lost to the Broncos in a GF
So that is why you should all hate the Roosters. Next week I will tell you why Souths suck for next year.
Don’t forget to comment below why the Roosters suck and also why Souths suck. The best comments about Manly will be inserted into my article next week. Crediting the person who posted it.
Disclaimer: These articles are intended as jokes only and are in no means to be taken seriously.
Its all just a bit of fun for everyone to have a laugh about. I chose to start with the Roosters as not only does ladder order seem like a fair way to go, but also by starting with my own team I feel less likely to alienate any readers as they will be able to see I am not merely looking to insult weak target (like Parramatta).
I will post for Souths next Thursday night. You have until then to get your comments in!
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