If Alastair Cook is convinced he is the man to lead England to the next World Cup, purely on the basis they finally had a victory in Perth against the Australia A side, then the problems in English cricket are more deeply ingrained than any of us initially thought.
Is Alastair Cook the right man to lead England? Maybe.
As a perfectly happy Australian cricket supporter enjoying watching my team win (for a change) and basking in the glory that is English mediocrity, I genuinely do not particularly care.
Get the Kiwi (Ben Stokes) to lead them.
(Although Stokesy, mate, you just lost eight in a row, who on earth are you kidding giving a send off to James Faulkner? How did that sledge go? “Let that be a lesson mate, nobody dominates the English cricket team nine matches in a row!”)
They can hand the captaincy over to Ravi Bopara if they’re so inclined.
This article is not intended as a debate about who should captain the English cricket team. In many respects, it is not even an article about whether or not Alastair Cook should continue to be the captain.
But it is extremely curious – to be honest it is downright mind-boggling – that the victory in Perth is what has convinced Alastair Cook he is the man England need at the helm.
Make no mistake, the 57-run margin between the teams in Perth is deceiving. Australia fielded a B-side.
Forget for a moment the departures of Michael Clarke, Brad Haddin (gee, hasn’t Matthew Wade really hit some hard times?), Shane Watson and David Warner, what about the bowlers who were not playing?
Peter Siddle and Ryan Harris surely are in the frame for frontline duties in coloured clothing. Clint McKay, our best one-day bowler of 2013, is out injured.
Meanwhile, James Pattinson is coming back from injury, and Mitchell Johnson? What does he care, he just routinely probed England rectally in the Tests, so he’s just keeping warm for South Africa.
And that’s before you even factor in the pedestrian captaincy on offer from George Bailey.
So, the Australian team that took the field on Friday, quality players though they may be, are not exactly the best of the best that Australia has to offer.
England were not even that convincing either. You take their magnificent final ten overs out of England’s innings, England are posting a pretty poor total that in the end we probably would have covered.
If not for the free-swinging antics of Jos Buttler, the English batting wasn’t exactly setting the second-grade world on fire.
Getting to the Australian batting performance, as generally poor as it was, we were scoring at eight an over for the opening deliveries. And one of the openers was Shaun Marsh!
We still managed 259, despite Glenn ‘the Big Show’ Maxwell not firing! (Seriously, who on earth came up with that as his nickname? That has to be a gee-up.)
For me though, the proof that one victory will not a summer make for England was their inability to convincingly close out the game.
England should have won the game three times before Pattinson finally edged one through to Buttler.
Stokes dropped a catch, England didn’t review an edge through to Buttler, and I’m pretty sure there was yet another skied effort on the last wicket that landed safely.
All of this while Alastair Cook was visibly grimacing at every missed chance. 60-odd runs up, one wicket left? Yep, even he had doubts they could still win.
Amazingly, England stumbled over the line, with 316 runs on the board, against the rest of the best of the rest that Australia had to offer.
But Alastair Cook thinks he’s killing it.
Really? No, no, just stop and ask: Really!?
“It’s been a long time coming,” said Cook after the game. I’m putting that in the category of ‘Understatement of 2014′, and we are only three weeks into the year.
“We know the series has gone but the thought of losing 10-0 – the prospect was there starting today.” Oh my goodness, this man is as inspiring as throat cancer.
“I think, what I’ve learnt over three years as one-day captain, it would be wrong so close to the World Cup to change.” What, like when Ricky Ponting was appointed captain 12 months before the 2003 World Cup?
Alastair Cook is clearly out of sorts at the moment. He’s in orbit. Forget the Rover on Mars, I want updates from ‘Ally’ about how things are on Pluto.
If he is not intelligent enough to be realistic about a solitary victory after a seemingly endless series of international losses, the wonder isn’t that England have lost so many matches recently, the wonder is they haven’t lost by even more.
Alastair Cook has bigger problems than whether he is captain. The way he’s playing, he should look at Steve Waugh and just hope he is going to stay in the side.
And regarding his credentials to captain the England team on a long-term basis? Well, if he’s putting the victory in Perth on his CV, he will need to pad that out with big words. And take some advise from Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde: write it on pink paper and make it scented.
Alastair Cook ain’t convincing anyone. Except Alastair Cook.
rp
Guest
Poms r awful.u guys r wining.r u having stress related illness.lol. Miss u trotty
richard
Guest
1- because Mitchell Johnston bowled brilliantly all series, he would have decimated any batting lineup. 2-Brad is an improved batsman with a lot of experienc and England couldn't sustain bowling pressure for a decent length of time on him. Cook played poorly and iis difficult to lead with any confidence when you are not contributing. He could be a bit more convincing in his interviews
Dizzy Tangles
Guest
Stokes grew up in England and learned to play cricket there. I have no problem with guys like him who happen to be born in a different country. I think it only becomes an issue if a player plays first class cricket in one country, and after a few years is allowed to represent a different country. The rules should make it bloody hard to do this. Perhaps a 7-8 year window at least.
Disco
Roar Guru
Nudge doesn't let such facts get in the way of jingoism.
Disco
Roar Guru
Indeed.
Disco
Roar Guru
"considering we statistically dominated in 2005 and 2009 only to be foiled by English sportsmanship." hahahahahaha
Roger
Guest
Not a great article but in response to some of the comments about non-England born players representing England I'd point out that it isn't just Australians taking aim at them. There are a heck of a lot of English commenters on UK sites saying the same thing, questioning their commitment to the cap and wondering why England can't produce their own players (and BTW bagging Cook, Root, Bell, Panessar et al mercilessly). Personally I don't care that players born elsewhere choose to pursue a career in another country, whether they migrated as a child without any choice in the move or they moved as an adult. Years ago I'd have welcomed Michael Holding (and many others since) with open arms had he wanted to play for Australia.
Cameron Hughes
Guest
It really is a wonder, considering we statistically dominated in 2005 and 2009 only to be foiled by English sportsmanship. The English really are inferior, 5-0 twice in a decade speaks for itself. Sure we've had some hard times these past few years but we can handle that after 20 years of dominance, not only of England but the world. Historically, Australia has consistently been the dominant force in world cricket and this will continue into the foreseeable future. Also I think the Stokes thing was a joke.
Warren
Guest
I am surprised that the editors allowed a piece this poor to be published.
RWB
Guest
Hello Nudge, I would possibly that says so much more about Australia than it does England.
Tubthumper
Guest
Considering how awful England are and how inferior as specimens to the magnificent Aussie male it is a wonder that you managed to lose three Ashes series in a row and haven't won in England for more than a dozen years. Listen to Stoke speak - does he sound like a kiwi ? John Mcenroe was born in Wiesbaden, you think he's a German ?
TheTruth
Guest
Moises Henriques (portugal) Kwaja (pakistan) Fawad (Pakistan) are all current players in aus set up. The only reason they dont play for Aus is they have not been good enough
Nudge
Guest
RWB the difference is you have to go back 7 or so years and then 25 or so years to find a couple of players that weren't born in Australia. With England you only have to go back 10 mins to find 4/5 players play for England that are hardly english.
RWB
Guest
Absolute rubbish article. The point I would like to challenge you on Karlos is your reference to "the Kiwi Stokes". He was a boy of 12 when he went to England (have you heard him speak?) Australian's constantly remind the world that we are a muliticultural nation accepting of the world and each Australia Day we see them proudly "taken into the fold" but do people like you really believe it? Was Andrew Symonds an Australian in your eyes, even though he was born in Birmingham England? I never once considered him English as it was so plain to see that he was Australian. What about Keppler Wessels? Even though he came through the SA system and again played for South Africa after his Australian career was over. I truly hope that Stokes is proud of his Kiwi birthright but as a player he is an Englishman simply because he has been "taken into the fold" Your Bay 13 mentality comes across poorly in your writing.
TheTruth
Guest
At no point did I see Cook showing examples that he was "killing it". What I saw was a man who relieved and realistic about the victory. And of course, he was happy, it was his first win verse Australia in the whole tour, he was entitled to feel some joy. The best thing that could happen to Cook as a captain would be to dismiss Flower and his heavy handed tactics. Cook is still a young man and I cannot see him being dethroned as captain for years to come. It's worth noting that only 6 months ago, Aus had not won a test match in 9 games and were being described by many as the worst Australian team ever
DubbleBubble
Guest
The thing is, is there really another option for the captaincy? The only two players that can be comfortably assured of getting a game for England in the near future besides Cook are Bell and Broad. Would either of them be a better option and even want the job? Serious question, not a criticism.
Philip
Guest
Wow, the posters here have nailed the sentiment of the article. I especially agree that if it weren't for MJ and Brad Haddin, England would have shown up for the tests and at least competed. What is also interested and will be found out with time, is that now Australia think they are the best team in the world after beating a very weak performing England side. What cannot be explained is why England couldn't 1. Face Mitchell Johnson, 2. Get Brad Haddin out. I am on the fence with Cook. My gut says he isn't up to the job.
Vince
Guest
I am a devout Australian supporter, but I'm 100% with you on this article. What a load of dross. Cook has had a torrid series by his standard (let's not forget he is the youngest player to reach 8,000 test runs), but he is still by far the best man for the job. He can't help it if the Australian's dished up a sub-standard team - they did what the should have done and pantsed them. England will bounce back and put this horrific tour behind them, and Cook is far too good to stay out of form for long. To parahprase: "If we take out the part where England piled on runs against Nathan Coulter-Nile who isn't an international bowler by anyone's standard, England didn't really play all that well". Right. By the same logic if we take out Brad Haddin and Mitchell Johnson from our Test results, Australia loses the series. And for the record Karlo, Harris is not anywhere near the coloured clothing, nor is Siddle.
Pom in Oz
Roar Guru
Yeah, like it's Cook's fault the Aussies "rested" some players. Let's face it, Clarkey has shagger's back and can't stand flying for more that a couple of hours. Watto was out for a duck second ball in the 1st ODI. Gee, I'm sure he needs a rest. I praise Cook for having the mental toughness to still be playing after all that's happened on this hellish tour. In fact, there aren't many players who will have played all 5 tests and 5 ODI's.
Unimpressed
Guest
Once again proving that the only thing more graceless than a losing Aussie cricket fan is a winning one. Are you really expressing your opinion about the English captaincy (which you expressly state as not caring about, being an Aussie and all)? Seems more like you're taking the opportunity to gloat and rub a few in (Stokes is a Kiwi, wow, how original). Stellar writing.