Having played, watched and umpired junior sport at many levels since I was nine in 2005, a constant common denominator of my sporting experience from the very start has been the presence of at least one and sometimes entire crowds of parents and supporters who suffer from ‘behind the white line fever’.
Similar to the ‘white line’ variety of the condition affecting many athletes, which unleashes a ferocious competitor on the field, ‘behind the white line fever’ can change even the most upstanding and loving Ned Flanders-style parent into a Damir Dokic impersonator in the time it takes for the umpire to blow the first whistle.
Letting their own hopes, dreams and egos get in the way, the sideline hero is created.
The sideline ‘hero’ is a not-so-hidden stain on the junior sporting landscape all over the world.
The father that likes to live his own unfulfilled dreams through his C grade football playing 13-year-old son, or the mother that wants nothing more than her daughter to become the next Nadia Comaneci. Both are all too frequent visitors to the sidelines of kids’ sport, and anyone who has attended a junior sporting competition would know them.
Whether it is an under nines girls’ football game, or a TAC cup semi-final, there’s a fair chance we’ve seen at least one. You might even be one of these heroes.
This hero shows their valour and integrity in a unique way, by choosing to overtly demand their child to “Do something!”, or asking questions of the 15-year-old officiating the game along the lines of “How the f**k is that a free!?.”
I myself was on the receiving end of the hero’s words of wisdom while umpiring an under 16 cricket match at the weekend, and not for the first time.
As a 15-year-old playing football I was berated by him in the form of an opposition supporter for apparently single-handedly costing my team the game.
At 13 I was labelled ‘weak’ by him, disguised as an opposition basketball coach. I could go on.
This hero has been around for a long time, and has overstayed his welcome. It’s time for a new hero to stand in his place. One who will prevent the ‘ugly parent’ syndrome, and maybe even remind people of why kids play sport.
Funnily enough, it’s not just for success or to fulfill mum and dad’s ego. A little thing called fun might have something to do with it.
The new hero to take this vacant position could be anyone. Anyone who would be willing to improve the sporting experience of all young competitors by standing in the way of the ugly parent and encouraging the supportive environment that kids who may one day become the next Chris Judd or Liz Cambage can flourish in.
You could be one of these heroes.
In an era where every public ‘role model’ – be it sportsmen and women, movie stars or even politicians – have their every move followed and scrutinised by the constantly-ready media scrum, surely it is time for a greater spotlight to be placed on the skid mark on junior sporting competitions everywhere that is the ugly parent.
While this ‘ugly parent syndrome’ is by no means a new phenomenon, the overall lack of accountability for parents or other observers who insult, pressure or threaten young competitors and umpires should be a thing of the past.
Be it as appalling as the murder of 12-year-old Luke Batty at his Tyabb Cricket Club training only recently, or simply the common story of a child not wanting to compete any longer due to the pressure placed on them, it’s society’s time to stop the ugly parent epidemic from spreading any further, and to find the cure.
Jimmy S
Guest
It's ironic that a piece about the ethics of parenting at sporting events sees such poor ethical behaviour from both the writer and those that seek to blindly defend it. Mickey: If you disagree with my views about using such sensitive material as an unrelated punch-line to the story, please don't be what you accuse me of being and instead explain why it should be considered fair game.
Jimmy S
Guest
Michael, Declan... Personally, I don't see that there is a link between murdered children and over zealous parents at sporting events. I think its disingenuous crap for Riley to suggest there's a link by mentioning the Batty incident & I think Riley should have more self-respect than to engage in flippant arguments involving murdered children hardly yet cold. I think the seriousness of murder-suicide is enough to allow people to call others out on their disingenuous crap when they see it. Ignoring these points to fawn over a 17 year old referee whose experienced a little hardship shows your moral compass needs adjustment
Mickey A
Guest
Excellent article young fella, good on you for voicing your opinion and congratulations on having it published. Seems you already have a follow up topic "behind the keyboard fever" (Jimmy S) Seems ugly sideline abuse is not limited to the sporting field. Don't be put off by a faceless critic hiding behind a keyboard (Jimmy S). Keep trying....... at least you are in the game. Well done
Thomas
Guest
Couldn't have said it any better myself mate, well done Riley.
Molly
Guest
A very good read, and very well said. There's always a handful who spoil it for everyone. Well done Riles!
Dylan
Guest
just thought i would explain this is a sarcastic comment to show how stupid the argument opposing riley is and how people can be ignorant to what they believe is always right. (only hearing what you want to hear) the parents that shout from the side line are just idiots
RPB13
Roar Rookie
Obviously using the term with intended irony. Agree it's unlikely it'll ever happen but the more the message gets spread the better!
Natalie
Guest
Having worked as a gymnastics coach all of my life and more recently having a son playing junior football I agree with all that Riley has to say. He has given a very accurate account of what is happening on our sporting fields and competition floors week in week out. Our juniors should be free to play sport for fun, for confidence, for sportsmanship and team camaraderie! They should be guided, supported and yes given negative feedback when required from their coaches and officials, not from parents or spectators on the sidelines. Loved your article Riley. Well done young man.
Statler and Waldorf
Roar Guru
It is time to get rid of the sideline 'hero' first step is not to call him a hero - because he is not. As someone involved in a lot of junior sport - i don't think it will ever happen but I hope that all sports, clubs and other supporters do their bit to stop these people from ruining junior sport
Ken
Guest
Rog!? What are you doing here?
Rog and Diane
Guest
Michael Jameison said it best, no need for your issues/views to get in the way of a well written article Jimmy S. Fact is it's an issue that needs solving.
Majella
Guest
Well the author had caused discussion so I think he's succeeded in the point of this article
Dylan
Guest
This kid has it all right, which is pretty good for 17. so anyone who tells me that im raising my kids wrong, can get stuffed. If i can't live my dreams through my children who else i am i meant to live them through. Not only does my yelling pump up my kid, when he knows him sleeping inside is on the line, but it gets his whole team pumped. It's simple philosophy in my household each possession below 30 takes away a meal a weak. As Riley says "side line yelling is what makes AFL champions"
Declan
Guest
Maybe others see a link between the murder and these parents suffering from 'ugly parent syndrome' that you cannot Jimmy S.
MichaelJamieson
Guest
Jimmy S please keep your issues out of this. The author was simply trying to express his opinion and had no intention to relate the tragedy of Luke Batty to the wider population of sporting parents it was a mere statement he made on the topic. Not once did he ever imply that these parents have "major mental problems" and the fact you drew to that conclusion shows how ignorant you are being. I think the Author wrote a very thorough and compelling article about an issue that I myself have experienced and I can tell you it does not feel good at all. So rather than being a critic, put yourself in someone else's shoes for a change, yeah? Well written Riley Brettell.
Declan
Guest
This is someone's opinion Jimmy, it's okay for someone to have a different opinion to you mate!
James T
Guest
This is good as mate, my heart is with you
Jimmy S
Guest
Klaus, what you've written has nothing to do with murder-suicide. What you've written proves my point that there's no link between parents going overboard supporting their kids in sport and murder-suicide. You have proven me to be correct in my criticism. Thank you.
Jimmy S
Guest
Well it's not clear that the Batty reference is an extreme example of a kid going to what should be a safe, encouraging community environment and ending in the ultimate tragedy because the rest of the article is about "behind the white line fever" not child safety. It's about parents going overboard when supporting their children and I was having trouble linking "support" with "murder-suicide" Sorry I wasn't aware that the writer was abruptly switching the emphasis of the article to child safety in the last paragraph.
Jason
Guest
"What do you think of the writer trying to use the tragic deaths of the Battys to draw a parallel to his plight of parents swearing at him?" Very odd take on the article I think. Perhaps it hit too close to home for you? I took from that that he is saying parents issues should be kept out of kids worlds. The Batty reference is clearly used as an extreme example of a kid going to what should be a safe, encouraging community environment and ending in the ultimate tragedy. As the author states he is 17, perhaps that situation resonated with him. I think your take is a bit harsh but all opinions are valid I suppose. Well written Riley.