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Smith to appoint Stephen Hawking as sole video referee

Dave Smith promised proactive leadership. (AAP Image/Dean Lewins)
Roar Rookie
21st April, 2014
6

In a bold move designed to address the recent spate of baffling referee decisions, NRL boss Dave Smith has decided to appoint Stephen Hawking as the sole video referee for NRL games.

“Clearly there has been some recent dislocation in the space-time continuum, causing video referees to witness completely different events to those seen by observers on planet earth,” Smith said today. “For this reason I chose to look for a prominent scientific figure to solve this problem.

“Originally I had intended to appointed Sheldon Leonard from The Big Bang Theory. However I discovered that not only are Sheldon and Leonard different people, named in honour of TV producer Sheldon Leonard, but that the show is not a documentary.

“And although Professor Hawking appeared as a yellow skinned animated character on The Simpsons he apparently actually exists.”

Mr Smith expressed a desire, if the move is successful, to expand the use of consultants.

“There are many mysteries in the game that cry out for investigation,” Smith said, “One would have to wonder about the reasoning behind the pointless rule changes we made, particularly when it would have been so easy to change a few rules that really annoy fans.

“For example we could have changed the stripping rule so that if the player is making a tackle he can strip the ball. It is up to the ball carrier to secure it. We could have done away with the archaic double-movement rule and simply ruled that the ball is dead when it hits the ground, just like everywhere else on the field, and not had guesses about momentum.

“Instead, we brought in rules that make the last five minutes of an NRL game like an NBL game. No-one asked for that. So why did we do it? I’m determined to get to the bottom of it.”

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Smith is casting his net far and wide in his search for investigators, but sources confirm he favours a team called Holmes and Watson at the moment. It seems that he has seen video footage of them in action.

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