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In a Roar faux-exclusive, it has been revealed that Queensland Police have commissioned a strike force to investigate the sudden disappearance of Ben Hannant’s credibility.
The healthy and well-funded 178-game reputation vanished in mysterious circumstances after an afternoon weights session on Tuesday, in the Red Hill county of Bris Vegas.
Hannant’s selection viability was last seen in the company of a large number of other well-funded reputations in the precinct before it was summoned to the offices of local man Anthony Griffin for a barely inaudible addressing.
Witnesses say that the subject entered Griffin’s office in good spirits, remaining inside for approximately 45 minutes, where it was peculiarly handed directions to Ipswich and fitted for a bush league jersey.
At the completion of this meeting, Hannant’s cred was witnessed emerging from the office depleted in size and in a state of visible confusion. It departed for home in a sleigh at around 4pm and has not been seen since.
The scene at Red Hill has since been cordoned off with empty cans of Powers and officially established as a crime scene, however the evidence collected thus far has stumped detectives on a motive.
Forensics have returned tests confirming Hannant’s repute as reliably rock-solid, with results on league and life returning lofty levels of validity and geniality.
Additional background checks also portrayed a healthy profile of an upstanding family man who is popular among his peers – especially after chewing metres like a starved carnivore over the last three weeks – making the complete disappearance even more mystifying.
Adding to this, the prop’s reliable image had been recently reinforced after leading the line for the Broncos amidst a number of greenhorn forwards, as the club dealt with the absence of fellow big-gamer Sam Thaiday. He also managed to severely outpoint his less-decorated front-row colleague Martin Kennedy, who has obscurely maintained his position in the team.
Further muddying the waters was the proactive public statement made by the regal overarching powers of the Queensland Maroons hierarchy that confirmed the vanilla-coiffed rep’s ability was still held in high regard at state level and would be in consideration for the upcoming Origin series, an assertion that belies the missing credit in question.
Hannant’s stock devaluation on the Brisbane selection market is a brain-busting mystery of Buhrer-Origin proportions that is thickening by the minute, with even the suspects proving a handful.
Initially established as the prime suspect, Broncos coach Griffin was immediately taken in for questioning by the strike force, however investigations hit a roadblock after he puzzled detectives with a number of craftily-worded answers.
When it was alleged he was attempting to deflate Hannant’s prominence with a smoke-screen omission in an underhanded attempt to trigger a June 30 offload, he schemed his way through the mazy questioning and scuppered the interrogations with a shrewd “No. Why would I do that?”
Perplexed and sensing a ruse, they pushed Griffin harder with their theory that his soul-demolishing banishment of Hannant to the Ipswich backwaters had more to do with personal differences than football, to which Griffin cryptically replied that the decision related to “some areas” and that he was “black and white about them”.
Investigations remain on-hold while the authorities attempt to source an interpreter who can speak fluent coach. In the meantime, detectives are desperately searching for any information relating to this bizarre disappearance of an honest front-rower’s repute.
Police are advising the public to be on the lookout for a middle-aged male wearing maroon and gold trackwear. He has grey hair, which can be seen sticking out from under a highly-restrictive salary cap, and will answer to ‘Hook’ in an economically-worded mumble.
Any other knowledge the public may hold is greatly welcomed by the authorities and can be advised by phone through CrimeDroppers.
Sport’s greatest super-sleuths will also be called upon to contribute to the investigation. Roarers. You are needed to help solve this bewildering disappearance.
Have you seen Hannant in any suspiciously animated discussions with the Broncos selectors? Is Griffin a long-lost relation of Kennedy’s or does he owe him money? Or, just like everything else, do we just blame the salary cap?