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Token American answers: Hayne's likeliest scenarios

Roar Rookie
20th October, 2014
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Jarryd Hayne (Grant Trouville/nrlphotos.com)
Roar Rookie
20th October, 2014
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The consensus among Australians is that Jarryd Hayne’s athletic future sounds surprisingly pessimistic compared with what Americans would say if the reverse happened.

That’s because we think that America is the best and will dominate everything we touch.

Most prognostication of Hayne’s prospective future is cautious, noting a sense of reality in a general sense.

Let’s dig deeper, look at specific realistic options for Hayne, and we’ll end up… still with cautious optimism about his future.

Cut by the Lions – 75 per cent
The Lions, who have reportedly signed him for a trial training run, will drop him after this season. He will sign with at least one other team during the 2015 season for a practice squad (equivalent in Australia to the reserves of the reserves).

Joins a full roster – 50 per cent
Within three seasons (in 2017), he joins a playoff team, getting spot duty on special teams. Many NFL head coaches are risk averse. NFL head coaches are, more than any other sport, taskmasters who will exert a system on their players. Because Hayne is an untraditional NFL player, most coaches will feign interest but couldn’t be bothered to find a way for him to contribute.

However, there are a few coaches and general managers who are more innovative than others and would be willing to take a risk on Hayne. Coincidentally, teams with these types of coaches and general managers are the most successful.

Hayne plays anywhere – 20 per cent
Hayne finds game time, but gets at least one concussion and suffers another major injury before returning to Australia.

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Hayne’s different positions – 1 to 15 per cent
He will either be a team’s primary of secondary kick returner (15%), a team’s second or third option running back (5%), a coach creates special plays for his unique skills (2%) or Hayne plays in defence (1%).

NFL convinces a team to sign Hayne – 0.5 per cent
Somebody in the NFL head office doesn’t know geography and believes that Australia is in Europe. With NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell’s obsession with expanding the NFL in London (which he has attempted to do by sending over two of the worst teams in the league to play a game there each year), the head office coerces a team to sign Hayne.

He’s promoted as the team’s star player and he plays in every position on the field, from offense to defence. When somebody reveals that Australia isn’t part of the United Kingdom anymore and has never been in Europe, Goodell will deny any knowledge of a memo sent to him about Hayne’s European birth, and he will immediately fine Hayne $10,000 for deceiving the league.

Unlikely scenarios – 0.000005 to 0.05 per cent
Hayne plays wide receiver or tight end (0.05%), or he is used as a punter on fourth and short situations near midfield. He will be a dual threat, able to kick it or fake the punt and run for a first down (0.005%).

No matter whether Hayne succeeds or fails, one or two teams change their scouting and talent evaluation departments to fin more international players (0.0005%), and an American football player decides to travel to Australia to give NRL a crack (0.00005%).

Lastly, with a 0.000005 chance, an American watches a full rugby league game and doesn’t complain how boring it is. Dream on…

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