The romance of the derby: A love story

The Sydney A-League derby is the best club sporting fixture in the country. No other game stirs up such emotions. There is exhilaration, tension, excitement and aggression.

If you have come to this article looking for insightful commentary, read no further. There will be ample ink spilled in analysis by pundits far more football savvy than I.

This article is about the greatest of all derby emotions: love.

In a week that has tested the emotions of many sports fans, I am about to embark upon what I am hoping is a Roar first: a football romance – featuring a forbidden love!

The Ballad of Tomi and Marika
Their eyes locked on the march to the stadium. “What’s your name?” said the young man.

“Marika,” replied the young woman, “what’s yours?”

“Tomi.”

“That’s nice, just like Tomi Juric,” Marika said dreamily.

“Tomi Juric! But he plays for…” temporarily untying the blindfold of first love, Tomi came to the awkward realisation that Marika was dressed head to toe in red and black, and was marching with the noisy, chanting RBB to the Sydney Football Stadium.

Likewise Marika’s dreamy look disappeared as she became aware of Tomi’s sky blue attire, and that he was with a gaggle of adolescent Cove numbskulls trying to figure out the words to “We are the Sydney Boyz”. Even so, for a fleeting moment there was chemistry in the air, their vision clouded like a misty lens (actually the mist was smoke from a flare).

After the game Tomi caught sight of Marika once more. She was on the all stations to Penrith with her face pressed up against the window, red and black mascara running down her cheeks. Was she crying for me, Tomi pondered, or the Wanderers losing? He asked his mates for their opinion. They came back with;

“We are the Sydney boyz, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.”

Their first date went about as well as Brisbane Roar’s start to the season.

“You know what,” he told his brother Mikey, “after a while, she turned her back on me.”

Word had got around that a bloke called Flash Jimmy with plenty of money and a fancy European car had been paying Marika much attention. One Saturday night Tomi decided to do something about it. He set off for Marika’s place. Mikey had given him this warning, “Be careful about Marika, her brothers are big bastards. I’m just 30 kilometres down the road if you need me.”

When Tomi arrived at the house, he found that Marika’s brothers, Nick and George, were indeed on the large side. Marika and Flash Jimmy were also there. Tomi walked straight up to Jimmy and confronted him, “All that money and bling can only mean one thing.”

He tore off Jimmy’s shirt to reveal a football jersey underneath.

“You’re a Melbourne City fan!” shrieked Marika. “Get out of here and never come back!”

Nick turned to Tomi and put him on the spot. “So what would you do for my sister?” Tomi had to think quick. He was being grilled like a schnitzel.

His first thought was of Marc Janko. Austria. The Sound of Music.

He answered, “I would climb every mountain.”

“Mt Pritchard?” asked George.

“No, higher than that”

“Mt Druitt? Alright. This boy’s not so bad,” said Nick.

Tomi knew what to do next. He picked up his phone, as Marika called out, “Who does he ring for?”

Nick and George roared back in unison “He rings for Domino’s! Ooh-weeey, Oooh-weeey”.

Over a slice of Pepperoni Surprise Tomi made his admission. “Marika, the first time we met I fell head over heels for you.”

“You fell? No way, that was a dive. Besart Berisha would have been proud of that.”

“It’s true Marika. I tried to tell you but you turned your back on me.”

And then it dawned on her, “Oh no Tomi, it wasn’t that. I was having a great time. It was the 80th minute of our date, that’s all. I was just doing the Poznan.

“Now Tomi, I am going to take you to the most romantic place on earth.”

“And where would that be?” Tomi asked.

“Centenary Square, Parramatta, of course. The second leg of the ACL final is on. And please put this jacket over that ridiculous sky blue jersey.”

And they lived happily ever after. Except on derby days.

Mo’s tip for the derby: Sydney FC 2-1 WSW.