Round 1 NRL action to cure off-season nightmares

You know the off-season is too long when vision of Braith Anasta selling hotdogs behind the Allianz Stadium in-goal wakes you in a cold sweat. So good riddance to disrupted nights, and welcome back rugby league.

Like most Roarers battling through the off season, I found the NRL integrity unit one sand hill too many – standing many orders of magnitude larger than Dave Taylor and proportionally just as unreliable, it remains an unscaleable beast best kept for the experts.

Nevertheless, the slap-stick that is the Titans and Arizona can be swept aside momentarily with further questions and advice best delivered in person from the concourse with flag in hand.

And with the turnstiles rapidly approaching, this is what has me queueing for a ticket and hiding the remote in Round 1.

A packed and heaving Suncorp Stadium ticks the box for top-shelf game one planning. The NRL’s best venue hosts two jet-lagged combatants under pressure for different reasons. The Rabbitohs should hold on, and with a strong list beyond their top 17 should dodge the trap all season, despite wearing the premiership’s ‘most wanted’ tag.

And hats off to Corey Parker who becomes the 21st player to join the exclusive 300 club, and ninth to complete the milestone at one club. It’s hard to believe the ever improving off-loading machine is the same shaven-headed tearaway who teamed with Carl Webb more than a decade ago.

But with the captaincy reins removed upon Wayne Bennett’s return, it remains to be seen if the perceived prickly relationship between the Red Hill favourite and one-time supercoach destabilises the Broncos’ finals quest.

My weekend ticket is in the away bay at Parramatta and just like the Sea Eagles I’ll be eager to brave the spine-tingling Parra chant and opening rapid-fire onslaught from Anthony Watmough’s new mound of angry ants.

Regardless of whether Daly Cherry-Evans and Kieran Foran front the Beach Boys beyond 2015, you know the blue and golds either side of the fence will be offering unwavering support and free facials. Manly will be sweating on the late inclusion of Steve Matai to guide the retort before Geoff Toovey’s veins pop amid joy or despair in a charismatic post-match return.

Saturday afternoon kick-starts the beloved triple-header, the catalyst for household segregation on many fronts. Take the tip couch kings – plan now and plan well.

The second game floats my boat, given the Titans were ambushed by the Sharks in similar scenes two years ago. Tipped to capitulate under ASADA’s slamming fist, Cronulla responded before a packed house of devoted fans. With the boot now on the other foot, the NRL won’t be worried about the Gold Coast’s performance against the Tigers as much as how many locals front in the club’s hour of need.

A poor turnout could sound the Titans’ death knell, creating the unfortunate break Bears fans are sweating on.

Despite not winning at home for almost a year, the Sharkies are short priced favourites to knock over the Raiders on Sunday evening. I’ll be interested to see how Josh Papalii fronts after a shortened off season following performances above expectation in the front row during Australia’s Four Nations campaign. Canberra are not without hope if the big unit returns to his edge-wrecking best, supplying a host of try-hungry outside backs.

Regardless of the result, Ricky Stuart’s post-match presser has the makings of a ratings winner, especially if his small men fail to deliver. The maligned coach is well within his rights to demand the NRL top-up the Raiders’ best offer to entice the competition’s number one playmaker to the Nation’s Capital.

And in what seems like weeks away, the rudderless Storm minus Cameron Smith travel to Jubilee Oval for Monday night football, where George Rose suits up for his fourth NRL club and third in as many seasons. Expect the big man to carry on his healthy early season offerings in a game that has the potential for another buzzer-beater finish on either account.

So with a keyboard of nerves off my chest, here’s to another season of mud, sweat and cheers.