While it may be true that everyone loves a hero, there is little doubt that villains are usually much more interesting. And every great villain needs a bizarrely ambitious diabolical scheme.
And who is to say your regular Bond villain type couldn’t also be a dyed-in-the-wool rugby fan? Such a character might decide to unleash his warped genius right here in Canberra.
Here’s how the plan works: Before the Brumbies and the Waratahs are due to commence battle our villain purchases both teams for an absurdly large figure. The ARU, financially crippled and in desperate need of a cash injection cannot refuse the offer – and so for the first time ever two Super Rugby teams become entirely owned by one person.
Then, minutes before the teams run out our Bond-villainesque protagonist orders them to swap jerseys. The Brumbies players will now become Waratahs and the ‘Tahs will don the Brumbies’ strip.
As the players run out to a packed Canberra Stadium (this is my fantasy and the stadium is bursting like it’s 2004 dammit!) there is silence. Inside the minds of committed rugby men a war of cognitive dissonance begins to rage. Entire human systems shut down as rugby men throughout the stadium begin frothing, collapsing and convulsing. All the while our villain’s megalomaniacal laughter echoes through the stadium speakers.
This is all just a recurring dream I tend to have during ‘Tah week, my Jungian analyst told me it was born from my “dark side”… so I shot him.
But while I know nothing about analysing dreams I do know a little about Waratah week. And though I’ve been guilty of poking fun at the antics that rugby fanaticism often draws from grown men, if ever there is a time to embrace our inner rugby man and ready for some primal craziness, it’s during ‘Tah week.
All the ingredients are in order. We’ve got Wallabies squaring up against Wallabies – with the prize fight being Pocock vs Hooper. We’ve got a top of the conference battle and a season-defining match up for grabs, and we’ve got world class coaches with tremendous vested interest in the outcome.
Add to this combustable cauldron the fact that the Brumbies were soundly beaten by the Waratahs a couple of months ago, and that this is the first time the ‘Tahs will play in Canberra as defending champions. Deepening the drama are the homophobic slurs that blighted the last match. Cue the drums of war, this is going to be epic!
As one of my former teammates said this week: “I have been surprised at the irrational hatred that has come over me in the last couple of days. Probably the first time I wish I was playing since I have retired.”
I couldn’t possibly agree more strongly.
Bakkies
Guest
Tried that didn't work and now back to night games.
Justthetip
Guest
All aus states have rivalries but there's only one state that is mutually disliked. The Floyd Mayweather of the Australian States and Territories but without 47-0 record.
Hatchet
Guest
Drivel. much like the the rubbish the Brumbies served up tonight
RobC
Roar Guru
Thanks Clyde. Beaut piece. I've been following the Tahs fortune, wishing them the best result. Including today's game. Anyway I had an afternoon snooze and overslept. Woke up to the game. And automatically wanted the Tahs to lose! As so it was for the rest of the match.
RobC
Roar Guru
Me too! He's gotta fix his place kicks though
AC
Guest
The golden years were based on ACT locals e.g Roff, Larkaham, Gregan etc however Brumbies have identified a number of young players NSW passed by. Prime example George Smith. Raiders struggle to attract players yet Brumbies retain a lot based on program and culture. Have a lot of respect for their recruiters plus those that have created and maintained the culture
Former blindside
Guest
Typical new rewriting history to suit. Isn't all tha ARU top ups enough?
Colin
Guest
I still go to the game, but would much prefer to be drinking a decent stout than the chemical rubbish they serve at the stadium and date to call beer.
You're kidding!
Guest
Well if Qld can play well enough, maybe they could get 10,000 fans. Let's not get too worried about the brumbies and their fans- at least they are playing some decent rugby
Wozza
Guest
"The question is how do we get people back to the games?" Saturdsy/Sunday afternoon games maybe
Wozza
Guest
The Tahs will ;)
Squirrel
Roar Rookie
$70 for the force , $35 for stand up
p55mac
Guest
My personal theory on the decline in Canberra crowds is that it coincides with the increase of households with Foxtel. Foxtel subscribers in 2004 where under 1 million Foxtel subscribers in 2014 where 2.6 million People are less likely to go to games because they have easy access at home. The cold, expense or crowd are not the single reason they don't come, but it is cumulative. The question is how do we get people back to the games? You could try a blackout type scheme like the US, where they don't televise the game locally unless a certain percentage of tickets are sold. I don't think this would work because of the competitive sports market and negative policy solutions tend to be, well negative. Sure a fancy stadium would help, I recently went to a Colts game in Indianapolis at the Lucas Oil Stadium during a snow storm, and I was sweating it was so warm! And the stadium seating was fantastic, with great views and atmosphere all round. But frankly nothing like that is not going to happen in the next 10 years. So it comes down to the crowd and experience... The Brumbies are doing a pretty good job winning and entertaining, they could always do better of course. So we need more people at the games with more passion. Once you create momentum with members, it grows quickly – just look at the reds. Much easier said then done. But it starts with community rugby, schools, clubs etc.
Boomeranga
Guest
Sorry Ken. I misread Qld for Canberra.
James
Guest
Zeb V You sure you aren't talking about ANZ Stadium. 4. Flat beer 5. Overpriced food
Boomeranga
Guest
Not really Ken. Moore and Pocock had already had professional contracts elsewhere, and all four moved to Canberra to take up professional contracts with the Brumbies. They were good or potentially good rugby players before arrival. I think that is a significantly different basis for being there as opposed to kids moving with their family.
Combesy
Guest
I like the rivalries, some people take it too far with arrogance and name calling. But friendly banter is always fun. I just wished foxsports would give every Australian team the same coverage and acknowledgment they give the Waratahs. (Honest gripe) if it wasn't for this forum I wouldn't know much about what happens with the force, rebels and too a lesser extent the brumbies.
nickoldschool
Roar Guru
I agree TBS, I also need a physical connection with the place. I still respect supporters who go for Liverpool or Man U without having ever been there but I have to say its not for me. For players I think its different, even at amateur level: you move to a new place, try to have a feel for the new club, adopt it/get adopted or not. I moved a fair bit in france too and trained with the rugby team when I moved to the place but only 'clicked' with one. I think its the same at pro level. I give the Jacque Pot, Clyde R, Giteau etc of this world the benefit of the doubt and I genuinely think they connected with their new club, city, region etc. So many of us these days move to new cities so I think we need to somehow connect to the new place and make it our home. Having said that, nothing will ever beat the love I have for my 1st team. I support the Tahs but its just not the same. there are different levels of connections I guess.
Bakkies
Guest
ACT is a territory of transients that's why they are excepted. Players that buy in to the place, Mowen literally brought one when he moved down. Mogg played a lot of local Rugby prior to getting a contract.
Bakkies
Guest
Goes back further than that. NSW arrogance thought that they could turn up. ACT Rugby went off the scales when they beat the Tahs 44-21 prior to S12.