Brad Haddin’s playing career is over, however he has been offered an olive branch by Darren Lehman and Cricket Australia. He has been brought in as the sledging consultant for the side.
Haddin joins a bevy of ex-players who are providing coaching to the next generation. Cricket Australia believe this newly created post is crucial for Australia’s Test and ODI success moving forward.
“Yep, just proud to be given this opportunity by Cricket Australia” said Haddin at a press conference.
“I feel I have a lot of offer the national side, even if it isn’t on the field”.
He was reported as labelling the recent Australian performances as “a little soft”, citing that not one of the Australian players were warned for dissent during the last two matches.
When asked why, Haddin blamed Lehmann, saying that he “looked a little soft himself”.
It is expected that Haddin will work closely with the man who has taken over the gloveman duties, Peter Nevill.
“He definitely has a bit to learn if he wants to keep wicket for Australia, he’s too bloody nice” said Haddin.
“I mean you can’t spell ‘wicket-keeper’ without ‘prick’”.
Despite the challenge, Nevill was full of praise for his mentor.
“He’s just a wealth of knowledge, a poet” said Nevill.
“I mean, you should hear how many great sledges he has for Joe Root. Who would have thought that surname would lend itself to so many puns”.
As part of the new training role, Haddin has been working with the Australian side to simulate match conditions, placing cardboard cut-outs of Alastair Cook, Stuart Broad, and other key English players out on the wicket.
When questioned as to why Haddin wasn’t also brought on as a wicketkeeping consultant, selector Rod Marsh said that he believed that Haddin should concentrate on the one task.
“We believe Haddin should do one thing, and do it well, which exactly why Michael Slater has been asked to step away from the commentary box” he said.
Despite the criticism of Australia’s verbal tactics, Darren Lehman has nothing but praise for Haddin.
“When you ask your senior players to step up, this is what you want. Transferring all that knowledge, all those smutty remarks to the rookies” said Lehman.
The appointment is expected to delay the release of Haddin’s autobiography, entitled ‘Nice Shot, Muppet’: Squawking from behind the Stumps.
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