Shoulder charge ban drives out promising NRL junior

The NRL’s confusing stance on the shoulder charge has claimed yet another victim with promising young player Wario driven out of the game altogether.

Confusion has reigned in the NRL over the past month after a Kane Evans shoulder charge on Sam Kasiano was penalised on the field but not subsequently cited by the match review committee.

The issue reached pure farce on Wednesday night this week when three players, Issac Luke, Jorge Taufua and Aidan Guerra, all beat suspensions at the judiciary after being penalised for shoulder charges on the weekend.

While the shoulder charge ban has always attracted criticism from self-identified old-school fans and commentators, even defenders of the ban are beginning to lose faith with the process.

News that it has now cost the game a talented young player will only strengthen the claims of the ban’s prominent opponents.

The young man in question, who in the tradition of Brazilian footballers is known simply by his first name, was rapidly developing a reputation as a powerful ball carrier who would literally run through a brick wall for his teammates.

When asked about his decision to leave the game, Wario was unapologetic about singling out the shoulder charge ban as the reason for his decision.

“Honestly it was hard enough after they banned me from using my flamethrower headgear but if I can’t even shoulder charge these guys I don’t know what else I can do,” Wario said outside his castle.

“I mean I guess I could try to jump over blokes or maybe pick one bloke up and throw him at the defensive line but that’s never really been my style. That’s more for that pansy Mario.”

News of Wario’s defection raised fresh concerns among both current and former players about the direction of the game.

Bowser, a former teammate of Wario, stood by his companion saying that he felt the authorities were trying to drive out players like Wario and himself simply “because we’re the bad guys. The villians.”

However, when asked about Wario’s decision to leave the game a league official was defiant, suggesting that the onus was on players to adjust their game. “If you look at someone like Sonic you can see a young player that is very effective with a front on technique.”

The official went on to criticise the departing Wario noting that the player had been a regular in front of the judiciary for everything from flamethrower use to affixing wings to his headgear in an attempt to fly over the defensive line.

“Look, we never like to lose talented players but in this case we have a young man who clearly had no intention of playing within the true spirit of the game.”

For his part Wario said that he looked forward to the next challenge and ended his interview on a positive note proclaiming: “I’m a Wario, I’m a gunna win” before speeding off in his go-kart.