In the aftermath of the Wallabies World Cup squad announcement, many have questioned Quade Cooper’s selection given his performances of late.
However, Michael Cheika, the perennial tactician, has stated Cooper’s selection is to provide the team with a scapegoat for a tournament failure.
“Well we trialled this tactic in the Auckland Bledisloe,” Cheika told the press. “We put him on the field as an excuse if the All Blacks beat us.
“He played his role well – everyone blames him for the loss.”
The news of Quade’s ‘Scapegoat Position’ answers a lot of questions. After the match, Cooper faced criticism for claiming he played well, but with his new role explained, it has shed some light on his self-evaluation.
“He makes a great scapegoat,” Cheika said, “I mean he gets more boos than a Floyd Mayweather press conference!”
Yet there are concerns over the effect Cooper’s selection is having on the team’s culture.
“Yeah, he’s about as welcome as a salad at a BBQ to be honest,” a senior Wallaby has stated. “Some of the boys even think James O’Connor isn’t that bad by comparison.”
There has even been discontent voiced by officials. Referees Jaco Peyper and Nigel Owens have been quite vocal about Cooper’s inclusion. “To be honest, it wasn’t the indiscretion. Both Jaco and I gave Quade Cooper a yellow card because I didn’t think she should be on the field.”
The scapegoat position is not new to Australian sport. Cricket Australia hired Micky Arthur in a combined coach/scapegoat role for the national side, and is one of the most celebrated scapegoats.
“Just proud to do my thing for the team,” Cooper told a random gentleman in the toilet. “I mean winning’s good, but if you can’t it’s great to have someone to blame. Don’t forget to shake…”
Given that Pool A has been nicknamed “The Pool of Death”, the scapegoat could be useful should Australia not progress.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.
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