SPIRO: England's Twickers stink travels across to France

Sir Clive Woodward calls the Twickenham crowd “England’s 16th player”. One of the reasons, up until now, that many of the experts are predicting an England triumph in the 2015 Rugby World Cup is because Twickenham is a fortress for the home side.

The purpose-built stadium is gladiatorial in design and atmosphere. The crowd is replete with Essex man types who behave like verbal bullyboys towards the opposition and to any referee.

Swelling choruses of “Swing low, sweet char-iiiot…” resound around the ground when England march forward with their smash-through method of achieving victory.

The pitch is generally on the slow side, with longish grass and a slightly muddy surface, all designed to help England’s methodical, slow-plod, set piece-obsessed game.

Officials running the ground and the television coverage have been known to help the home side with cunning replays and, as happened to the Wallabies some years ago, the apparent ‘unexplained’ loss of video footage that would have led to the disallowance of a winning England try.

It will be interesting to see if the World Rugby committee running the World Cup will be able to encourage the officials in charge of the Twickenham operation to be less partisan in their approach and methods than in the past.

Will a fast pitch be prepared at Twickenham to encourage the more free-wheeling, faster game played by England’s rivals, Fiji, Wales and Australia, in what The Guardian is calling “the lake of death”?

And will Twickenham officials recognise that England is not the ‘home’ side in England’s Rugby World Cup. Officially, the home side, even for matches at Twickenham, is discovered through the toss of a coin.

This means, in effect, that the Wallabies could be playing out of England’s traditional dressing room at their Twickenham match.

It means, too, that the ARU chairman Michael Hawker and CEO Bill Pulver will have to be vigilant in protecting the interests of the Wallabies against the inevitable try-ons World Rugby and the RFU (England’s Rugby Football Union) will subject the Wallabies to throughout the tournament.

There is one other disadvantage playing at Twickenham, which fortunately (or unfortunately, more accurately) applies to both sides. The 534-hectare Mogden Sewage Treatment Works, the second largest in England, is quite near the ground. The stink from the works is overpowering, apparently.

Recently, despite the fact that $300 million has been spent on an upgrade, the stench which has been eye-watering in the past has reached record levels of obnoxiousness.

Whether to play with or against the wind takes on a whole new meaning from this news.

Two weeks ago, England defeated France at Twickenham 19-14. Perhaps the England players are becoming conditioned to the wafting odours, in the manner of an ‘ill wind that blows no good’.

Whatever, when France got their chance to play England last week at Paris, they were a totally different team. Their forwards, particularly, monstered the England pack in the scrums, lineouts and in the ruck and mauls.

The England backs made no headway against a tough French defensive line. By contrast, France made a number of incisive breaks created through the deft play of Frédéric Michalak (I know this is hard to believe).

Johnny May, usually a dynamic winger who torched Conrad Smith two years ago at Twickenham, ran 9 metres in 63 minutes at Paris. In 17 minutes, his replacement Danny Cipriani ran 38 metres.

The England pack plodded even more slowly than usual. They were penalised frequently (and correctly) for illegal play at the ruck and maul. Dan Cole was an inveterate offender and why he wasn’t given a yellow card (he was warned) is probably due to the fact that, in theory at least, this was a so-called friendly Test.

South African Jaco Peyper is not my favourite referee but he was excellent in all facets of the game. He was accurate in his decisions and when France or England (in over-time) tried to play attacking rugby, they were able to use quick ball against a defensive line that was kept on-side.

It will be interesting to see if the Rugby World Cup officials give Peyper one of England’s matches to referee.

“It is not a time to panic,” Sir Clive Woodward told The Daily Mail. But he outlined a number of actions that England’s coach Stuart Lancaster has to do to get his team on track for the World Cup.

Is it me? A number of these must-dos smack of panic, in my opinion.

1. Announce England’s 31-man squad immediately
Sir Clive’s argument here is that the players are becoming anxious about whether they will make the cut, or not. This is affecting them personally and, therefore, their performances.

But if Lancaster does this now what happens if one of the selected players (say Danny Cipriani who came on at Paris and was England’s best back) has a shocker?

2. Double-check the fitness regime
“England were flat, heavy-footed and fatigued and had the look of a team that had been overdoing it in training,” Sir Clive notes.

Because they were slow around the field, England gave away a number of penalties at the rucks. Overweight, hefty England No.8 Billy Vunipola conceded four penalties all by himself.

I agree with Sir Clive on this point. England looked like a team that had been training too hard to build up muscle and power and had overlooked their pace and skills training.

Incidentally, this is something that Michael Cheika might note. There are media claims that he intends to split his Wallabies squad into two sides that will tear into each other at training before the USA match, late next week.

I have never been able to understand why rugby players who have been training for months need to be flogged with more hard training towards the end of their season. The All Blacks, who tend to be smarter now in these matters than they were in 2007, have given their players plenty of time off this time around to recuperate following on from Super Rugby and the Rugby Championship.

Sir Clive has the same approach, as it happens. He has warned Lancaster from having a “full-scale internal practice match, which I have seen reported”.

3. Get that mighty scrum working again
Sir Clive makes the valid point that “packs win World Cups”. He advises the England pack to go away and “get things sorted out”. They conceded too many points from collapsed scrums. They also lost four of their 13 lineout throws.

France scored 18 points from a possible 21 from penalties. France conceded only three kickable penalties, with England converting two of them.

4. Lack of pace in back row
England’s problem with the lack of pace in their back row is that their captain, Chris Robshaw, is also their No.7, their openside flanker. In any other country, in my opinion, Robshaw would be a No.6, the blindside flanker.

Sir Clive makes the point that England’s two major opponents in their pool – Wales and Australia – are “running gifted opensides in their back rows”.

Without offering much insight into the problem of England’s lack of pace in their pack, Sir Clive suggests, “England simply must find ways of being more competitive in this area”.

5. No.10 must run the show
George Ford, a standout for England last year at No.10, simply was innocuous and ineffective at Paris. Should Lancaster stay with him? Or should Owen Farrell come back into consideration? Or should England emulate France, with the revival of Michalak, and bring back Cipriani?

These are not the sort of questions that should still be unanswered only weeks before the World Cup begins.

6. More clarity of thought
“Clarity” was a key word used by Graham Henry in preparing the All Blacks to win the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Clarity comes when a huge amount of information has been burnt down into an essential few truths. Every part of the World Cup operation, including the selection of players and the roles each player is expected to play, needs this clarifying process.

Sir Clive points out that Lancaster has suggested his best centre combination is Jonathan Joseph and Brad Barritt. But they have never played together in a Test. “That’s extraordinary,” Sir Clive claims.

7. Up the intensity against Ireland
Sir Clive reckons that Lancaster should tell everyone (including his players) that England must defeat Ireland at Twickenham at the weekend or “the chances of us winning the World Cup are zero”.

And in a reference Fortress Twickenham: “England need to set the tone with their performance and the crowd needs to be animated because they remain England’s 16th man. Home advantage can cover up a few crack in World Cups, witness New Zealand’s victory in 2011.”

What England are looking for, presumably, is another case of ‘fair sets the wind for England!’

Last week I suggested that Greg Martin’s call that Fiji and the Wallabies would emerge the winners from the pool of death as a “silly” prediction.

Martin has now been supported by the legendary George Smith, who was unimpressed with England at Paris and impressed with Fiji’s coach John McKee, who has coached in Sydney.

I have now upgraded the Martin/Smith call to first class status and will now refer to it as a “fearless prediction”.