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Rogue cricketer claims pink ball will be a success

Matt Wade could become a specialist bat. (AFP / Glyn Kirk)
Roar Guru
26th October, 2015
10

In a move as unjustified as selecting Xavier Doherty in Australia’s last World Cup squad, a rogue cricketer has defended the pink ball.

Speaking anonymously, Player X (no, not Chris Cairns) believes that there is nothing wrong with the proposed pink Kookaburra.

“Mate, it’s just a bloody ball. Thirty years ago, people sooked about the white ball. That’s now used during the day and also during the night.”

“What’s the bloody difference? Just change the sidescreens to the opposite colour of pink.

“What would that be anyway? Maybe some sort of blue?”

Player X went on to shoot down recent negative views shared by the likes of Adam Voges.

“The guy bats 5, and is not that good at it. Why wouldn’t he blame the ball if he could? It’s like blaming chocolate for making you fat. It’s an easy out.”

“Chris Rogers is no different. The guy claims he has quit Test cricket because he can’t see the pink ball due to colour blindness.

“It’s not even pink. It starts as a fluoro red and after 40 overs, it’s as dull as a normal red ball is after 40 overs.”

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“Balls suffer wear and tear as well as lose their colour. It’s normal.

“If Rogers really is colour blind, why does the colour matter at all? Wouldn’t he just see everything as a shade of grey or something? Here’s an idea.

“How about, rather than judging the pink ball’s performance after one match under substandard lighting in Canberra, we actually give the the idea a chance?

Imagine something strange happens like people come and watch, or the balls moves a little more to counteract dead pitches, or God forbid, the sky doesn’t fall in?”

A Cricket Australia spokesperson said they had started an investigation to identify Player X.