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Wallabies by 50: Let your heart do the talking in World Cup final week

The ARU's new strategy plan is moving rugby in a much-needed direction. (EPA/ANDY RAIN)
Roar Pro
28th October, 2015
19

Australians are a passionate, overzealous and often reactionary group of people defined by a devil-may-care attitude. We are a nation built on decisions made from the heart with scant regard to any input offered from the head.

These are fantastic qualities. They make life interesting, we should embrace them.

Given this, what the hell has happened to our nation’s collective psyche in the lead-up to the World Cup final?

This is our biggest sporting moment since Elton Flatley displayed ‘balls as big as a house’ to damn near kick us to glory in the 2003 final and we’ve gone into our shell.

Gone is both our irrational confidence and perceived cockiness, having instead been replaced with trepidation and logical well thought-out arguments.

Scan the millions of comments filling up blog posts in the lead-up to the game and you will find Australians the world over signing off with the old ‘my heart says Australia but my head says New Zealand’.

What the hell is this? When did we start thinking like, dare I say it… the English?

It seems as a nation we fell into the trap of believing the New Zealand marketing department. What’s with the new trend to label the team ‘The Darkness’, and why are we as Australian’s buying into this tripe?

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This my friends, is marketing madness being consumed by an unwitting public.

I have a lot of Kiwi mates, we all do, and let’s be honest – there’s nothing mystical or special about the buggers.

One of my Kiwi mates, when confronted by a two foot black snake was so petrified he attacked it with fly spray.

Another mate nearly burnt his girlfriend’s parents’ house down after simultaneously trying to bridge the dangerous gap between cooking pork chops and catching a few winks.

Does this sound like a race of people we need to be particularly worried about?

Kiwis are just less attractive, more boring versions of ourselves. Good blokes for sure, but hardly scary.

Putting all this All Black/Darkness shit to one side, look at the bare facts and tell me
why we can’t win this weekend?

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Even the most ardent New Zealand supporter would have to agree that this iteration of the All Blacks peaked two years ago. Richie McCaw, Kieran Read, Dan Carter et al will never find the heights they did through 2012-13.

Yes, the Kiwis have a modicum of success against us in the past, however this Australian team is something else. You think David Pocock, Michael Hooper and Scott Fardy give a tinker’s cuss about past achievements?

The 2015 Wallabies approach every game like Walter Plummer approaches a wildlife safari.

While they already have a few scalps on the mantle in the form of a rose, dragon, thistle and puma rest assured the team remain focused on the King of the Jungle, the fabled Kiwi.

For those looking for more analytic insights as proof we will win, get this into you – our scrum is better than theirs. Don’t question it, it just is (although let’s not talk about the lineout).

More importantly the All Blacks again demonstrated clear signs of their patented World Cup panic and clouded decision making during the semi-final against the Springboks. The formerly reliable Jerome Kaino booting the ball from the wrong side of the ruck was a cry for help if ever I have seen one.

Alleged expert pundits have lauded the performance of Carter but have you ever witnessed a more conservative, staid performance from the No.10?

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Let’s be honest, the Springboks threw nothing at the All Blacks. Their decision to pick and drive from 90 metres out with a minute on the clock was testament to their inability to create.

To beat Japan’s bunnies by only two points is a concern heading into a game with the battle hardened men from Australia.

That underlying fear of failure is well and truly embedded within the Kiwis come cup time and I’ll bet your pound to my dollar that Michael Cheika has a red hot plan to bring it to the surface.

So instead of worrying about this mystical beast known as ‘The Darkness’, embrace the week.

We’re Australians – we rise when least expected. We love a big stage.

Rest easy in the knowledge that our boys have got this one covered.

And on the off chance they don’t, at least we can sleep knowing that we have the skills to knock over a two foot black snake.

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‘Carn the mighty Wallabies!

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