“Got him! Yes! Piss off, you’re out!”
“I keep my teeth in a jar beside the bed.”
“Pierce off, Jack”
“What did you say?”
“Jerry Seuseu and I see you too Jerry, Jerry.”
“You’ll have e coli.”
Those names, those voices. Eight number one albums, cricket, beer and raucous laughs – summer will never be the same again, as Billy Birmingham has announced the retirement of his comic creation the 12th Man.
The death of Richie Benaud this year seemed like a fitting moment to pull stumps on this classic sports satire, but it will be hard to let go.
The 12th Man became a cultural phenomenon in Australia and New Zealand with his lampooning of the iconic Channel Nine commentary team.
My introduction to the 12th Man was a rite of passage. It was 1995 and I was nine years old. ‘HIStory’, the last of the really big Michael Jackson albums, had just come out, and Mum took me to the record store to purchase her copy.
I had little interest in Jackson, and while rummaging through the cassette tapes I instantly recognised the Wide World of Sports logo.
I begged Mum to buy the tape. She was in a hurry and, to silence me, she duly obliged – without reading the swearing disclaimer.
I took the tape home, unsealed the packaging, and for the next hour I laughed harder than I ever had before. Mum was cooking tea and told me to pipe down, but didn’t really take notice of what was being said on the tape.
It was the most swearing I had ever heard. It was the most farcically funny thing I had heard. I wanted to take it to school, but it was too precious.
I was hooked, and have been ever since.
The 12th Man has been a regular at parties I have attended. It’s a great medicine to help cheer you up when you are down. It’s a great way to escape.
Roarers, when did you first hear the 12th Man? What are your favourite 12th Man lines or storylines? What is your funniest 12th Man story?
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While a premature retirement isn’t the solution, he or England want, he may be forced into it if he can’t maintain a long run of matches.
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