The recent fallout from Bondi resembled a mushroom cloud. It was so big, it almost blocked out the colossal frame of Pauli Pauli thundering up the M1 towards Newcastle.
So with the dust somewhat settled, what were the Eels thinking?
Long-term deals to Anthony Watmough and Beau Scott set the scene. Recruited to guide Parramatta’s future enforcers, disbelieving looks must have been traded when their most menacing prospect disappeared six weeks before Round 1.
Having served a two-year 33-game apprenticeship, the hard work was done. The 120-kilogram monster was one Eels junior destined to repay Brad Arthur’s faith.
Unfortunately someone had to make way for Michael Jennings’ and it was the 21-year-old who drew the shortest straw.
Salary cap incompetency is one thing, identifying the club’s best playing talent another.
There’s no doubt Arthur once held grand visions for Pauli. Perhaps wiser voices shared the hidden complexities plaguing other gifted wrecking-balls like Tony ‘T-Rex’ Williams.
Torn between structured conservatism and the challenge of compromising it with one man’s power and creative urge, the Eels coach voted low risk.
And who’s to argue? After the Chris Sandow debacle and Kieran Foran’s signing it’s clear the Eels are heading back to basics.
Heavyweight playmakers like Williams and Dave ‘Coal Train’ Taylor can be just as enigmatic as they are spectacular – nightmares if coaching by the book.
Gorden Tallis once labelled Taylor a five-eighth in a prop’s body and like many criticised his preference for cutting corners in defence.
Similar stories still follow T-Rex. Andrew Johns in commentary one afternoon doubted if the back-rower fully understood the enormity of his own physique and recommended a full-length mirror to spark more intent.
No one has ridden more rollercoasters with the game’s biggest all-rounders than Des Hasler. He transformed Williams from the wing to boom international forward before the cracks started appearing at Canterbury.
Now playing second fiddle to James Graham and Sam Kasiano, T-Rex has become the poster boy for repeated decoy runs and sluggish hit-ups.
But even with the fun-play switched off, it’s a lackadaisical ability to bend the line that often spares the Williams brigade from wearing the axe.
T-Rex averaged 97 metres per game last year without seemingly raising a sweat. Respectable enough returns, but fans argue it’s a benchmark that should come at half the price.
And therein lies part of the problem, an oversupply of sameness ending in selection-heartbreak or misery for the out of favour in a foreign position.
Shane Flanagan’s diverse mix of Sharks allows the raw power and one-handed subtleness of Andrew Fifita to run its natural course.
Fifita’s Bulldogs deal is the best thing that never happened in 2014 and shows a balanced pack unleashes the irresistible wrecking-ball on a regular basis.
It took perennial off-loader Adam Cuthbertson four NRL clubs and nine years before the Rhinos welcomed his best down main street Headingley.
Ali Lauitiiti was another imposing figure lured by the greener pastures of England after wowing NRL fans for five seasons with an array of slam-dunks and overhead passes.
But Pauli won’t be bothering about the colour of England’s grass. He’ll be sniffing about the bottom of Nathan Brown’s St Helen’s kit bag for a new trick or two to break Brad Arthur’s heart.
Jason Hosken
Roar Guru
The first two games are on Fox with the UK feed kicking off around 5:30am Sydney time. Could be the same for the Cowboys game but I'm unsure if Nine provide comms. I was over in Leeds in 2012 for Manly v Leeds. Leeds got thumped the week before by Wigan from memory. Locals had all but given up on their side but they came out and gassed the Eagles, so you never know. What would be good, is a repeat performance from Gelling with a slight twist....
Tripehound
Guest
I'm at the Saints v Roosters and Wigan v Broncos games mate. I can walk to Langtree Park from where I live and the DW stadium is only 20 - 25 minutes drive so I'm pretty lucky with the venues. I just hope the English sides can put a show on, as previously stated Saints were woeful on Thursday and although Wigan overcame a vastly understrength Huddersfield on Friday they were far from impressive. Leeds didn't look that cohesive in their home defeat to Wire on the opening night and they play at Widnes on Sunday afternoon, which is never the easiest of places to play at with the 4G pitch offering the home side a definite advantage. I take it the games will be easy enough to watch in Oz? Will they take the UK feed and commentary or have their own coverage?
Jason Hosken
Roar Guru
Man of Steel! I always thought Lyon would finish his final days at Saints, I guess the golden sands were too much to sacrifice. I agree with your thoughts on his unique cut. His defence is brilliant and often under rated, not much gets around the pig hunter. Jamie is getting on, hopefully he doesn't play one season too many. How many WCC games you attending next week....envious this end?
Tripehound
Guest
I was extremely impressed with what I saw of the Trbojvic brother last year, especially Jake. Any young bloke that can make his mark playing at prop is deserving of respect. Taupau should be interesting to see in Manly colours, he's a forward that I always think would be well suited to playing in the Super League, speaking of which Jamie Lyon has cult status over here at St Helens, he had a couple of fantastic seasons playing there in 2005 and 2006. I've never seen someone that looks less like a top flight rugby player with so much skill and natural ability, it's great to see him still doing the business, though as you say perhaps not in the stand off role.
Jason Hosken
Guest
Plenty of interest at Brookie with so many new faces. I'm real keen to see if Taupau can maintain the rage for the entire season. Then there's the 5/8, sounds like Walker will be given first shot, need to settle the combinations early to maintain momentum. Would be a shame if Lyon is transferred to infill a nasty hole. Most of all I'm hoping Tom and Jake T have breakout seasons, would mean a lot seeing as they're local juniors.
Tripehound
Guest
Yes no excuse for that last night Jas, but credit to Salford they took a walloping at Hull last week and came out with a point to prove. I'm looking forward to seeing the Aussie sides over here next weekend, the Roosters must have been sniggering watching that match last night, I just hope Saints can put a decent show in. The Wigan pitch looked awful last week, not too different to when they played the Broncos last year, the good thing is the 7 day forecast is for dry weather so that should firm up the paddock. How about Manly mate, anyone you're particularly looking forward to watching this season?
Jason Hosken
Guest
I just finished watching the Salford replay. Murdoch, Lui and Dobsen outstanding. Saints were awful, clearly distracted by next weeks WCC. Walmsley showed some ticker...sounds like he's learned some tricks at Hogwarts :)
Tripehound
Guest
I'm wearing a black arm band after St Helens' mullering at Salford last night, but talking about the big wrecking ball Alex Walsmley can take a bow after his performance. He's got another three years on his contract but if an NRL side is looking for a huge impact player that's capable of playing good minutes and with a heart the same size of his footy boots look no further than this bloke, injury permitting expect him to play a big part in an already strong England pack at the end of the year. I also imagine Andre Savelio, who is only 20, will be on a few radars too, he's off contract at the end of next year. Salford have a Tongan bloke, Murdoch-Masila, in the second row who on his first couple of outings looks pretty handy. Sorry to hear about Mose getting injured, I've missed that one. Someone had better inform Greenpeace because if he's spotted on a beach after a period of inactivity he'll be getting dragged out to sea.
Jason Hosken
Roar Guru
No stats Nev Nev. If you reckon Tony is shy on the tackling bags it's probably a result of this Rockin Roll Wrestling manoeuvre on Isaac DeGois and the subsequent couple of months he had to think about it. Nice Rabs analogy, akin to you and Peter Peters sharing a slab. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-n6Nb6mEtbk
Jason Hosken
Guest
Oh lighten up One Week. There's not much regular about 190 odd cm and 120kg, it'll take more than a couple of regulars to park him on his date. You're on the mark with Micky though - was he the one that upset Gallen a few years back?
Jason Hosken
Guest
The Dragons still have Russell Packer waiting to crash the pack. Although it'll probably take him a good part of the season to find his legs, similar to Wicks in 2015.
Ken
Guest
I suspect that these wrecking ball impact players might actually be more important under the new interchange rules. You can't carry more than 1 of them but their contribution when on the field, against slightly more tired opponents than previously, could be huge factors in the outcome of the game. As a Dragons fan really down that Masoe is out for the season, all the criticisms of him are fair but geez when he gets rolling he can create havoc.
Tom Rock
Expert
I think you guys are reading too much into this signing. Pauli Pauli is just a guy. A very big one, but just another mountain of meat all the same. Newcastle exploited Parramatta's salary cap situation and poached a forward deemed less valuable than Beau Scott, who, let's be honest, played like a busted arse last year. Pauli is joining a soft Knights pack who are so thin in the forwards, that they openly paraded Micky Paea as a top recruit. Micky Paea... Good luck to Pauli Pauli. I hope he kills it for the Knights. But it is unrealistic to expect this young man, on what he has produced over the last 2 years, to be more than just another guy.
Parrafan
Guest
I think you have to take it a bit easy on Pauli, and Moeroa last year in defence. Both young and from memory both defended on the right edge. So they had Sandow inside them and Hopoate outside them, both of whom were very ordinary in defence. Defence is about attitude and I would hazard a guess that if Pauli gets his attitude right, his defence will tighten up as well.
Neville Neville
Guest
Jase, do you have any stats on missed tackles for any of these 'wrecking balls'? I seem to recall a few Parra games last year that may have been decided by a couple of poor poor Pauli reads. Likewise, T-Rex can be made to look off the pace at times in defence, particularly on his own line. Good dummy halves seem to target him when caught at marker. Its not NFL mate, so surely a coaches assessment in deciding whether a player stays or goes is not based purely on attack. Also worth considering whether Rabs had any input. Junior Paulo, Pauli Pauli, Joseph Paulo on the same field at the same time? Just silly.
Parrafan
Guest
I did notice he ripped in when playing Parra in the quaterfinal. Obviously has a point to prove and that is a good thing. I think he can be as good, if not better than T-Rex in his big year at Manly, but it is all up to him to apply himself and as you said a short term contract helps (two years I think he is on). Good luck to Pauli and Newcastle. (I've got a soft spot for Newcastle even after they did the dirty on us in the 01 GF).
Jason Hosken
Roar Guru
Gday Parrafan. Pauli looked in good shape at last week's Nines but his impact was low and the Knights didn't go out of their way to impose him on the opposition. Blokes like that are best signed on short term contracts, looks like T-Rex got comfortable on a 4 year deal at Belmore.
Parrafan
Guest
Good luck to Pauli. He was given strong warnings last season about his application at training and in defence and his response was to come back to pre-season 10kgs overweight. You're correct he has all the potential in the world and I hope moving to Newcastle is the kick up the bum he needs. Parra retained Moeroa who I think is a better prospect at second row/lock, and Alvaro who is a better prospect at prop, so I don't think it was a complete bumbling like the parramatta of the past.
Jason Hosken
Roar Guru
I see in League Week where the Dogs are trying to push T-Rex out before the season starts. I'm not sure what makes the big unit tick but I wish someone did. He's brilliant to watch at his best. Shame for the Blues too, they'd be much better if boppers like Williams and Idris lived up to their potential.
MAX
Guest
TB you are on fire. Spot on descriptions and solutions. I hope Des reads The Roar