Rugby League: The mills of Lancashire, mines of Yorkshire, and leafy suburbs of Toronto

There’s been furore on certain rugby league forums in the UK about the possibility of a Canadian side entering League 1 (the third tier – equivalent to the Ron Massey Cup on the Australian pyramid, or the Cook Islands residents Under-12s in terms of ability).

I will arrive at the negatives later on (and then completely demystify them), but first let me touch on the positives.

For one thing, any expansion in a game struggling to outgrow coastal Australian cities that will be underwater within the century, and English towns that look like the setting for Sacha Baron Cohen’s upcoming movie Grimsby, is a good thing.

Do you think the game in New Zealand would be at all recognisable if it weren’t for the Warriors providing an invaluable pathway for talented Kiwis to professionalism? Since their creation, participation and interest has increased.

Likewise, a professional side from Toronto, Canada, could yield equally impressive results. The national team already draws an average crowd of 7000 against touring sides representing what’s left of the UK’s military (before their stay is cut short as they have to take part in Trooping the Colour, due to shortages of alternative personnel).

The Warriors, if I’m not mistaken, struggle to draw a crowd of 12,000. With a bit of clever marketing, I see the Toronto side becoming a remarkable commercial success, and inspiration for more Canadians to take part in this game of ours.

But what does Wakefield, or Hunslet, or Rochdale, or the Leeds A&E ward team (sorry Rhinos fans) have to gain from this? As it turns out, quite a lot.

Not only will there be increased revenue from sponsorship, as companies have the opportunity to advertise internationally, but Canada presents another opportunity to bend over backwards for News Corp.

The money required to finance the side, at least in their first year, is enough to sustain the livelihoods of 30 individuals in one of the most affluent cities in the world, travel (which is less than people may believe, £40,000 per season to fly themselves and all sides over and back), and accommodation. So once interest really starts to pick up, Super League salary caps could increase enough to at least maintain the myth that Super League and the NRL are anything near equal.

It would also provide the kick up the jacksie that the game’s administrators require (although I’d happily do it regardless) to properly sort out the World Club Series.

So I’m in favour of this. Shut up and listen for a minute will you! Let me just fight off the overriding myths that keep arising when this topic creeps up in discussion.

Firstly, the money that will be invested in the game cannot be put anywhere else except for this team. Canadian TV companies have paid for a transcontinental team to represent the nation, not to broadcast a domestic amateur competition.

Number 2, there will be absolutely bugger all cost to this for the semi-‘pro’ clubs. The Canadian side will finance both their and the opposition’s transport, which, as mentioned above, when dealing with a multi-million-pound company (as this would be), is small change. Yes, for the first season, the majority of sides around them will have other jobs, but the most that they’ll have to miss is two days of work for a transcontinental sporting opportunity, something only denied by the most horrible bosses imaginable (sorry Rhinos fans). Once they rise to Championship level, the majority of sides will be pro, and for those who aren’t, the same principle applies.

And for the hard of thinking who still won’t believe me when I say that the Canadians wouldn’t be able to finance a domestic league, here’s an idea I say, struggling to convey sarcasm over digital media. Sucker up to Rupert Murdoch, become his next spouse (there should be a vacancy opening up, based on precedent, in about eight months), and convince him to buy Canadian Football (gridiron). They’re practically the same. The salary cap for the nine-team league is less than half of the new NRL one, and it is a sport in decline. Often confused with a more popular code that has some vague similarities, and with a constant stream of players migrating from one code to the more globally recognised league, there’s no way this sport can ever survive.

Now, there are more pressing issues surrounding rugby league, such as the fact that the upcoming World Club Challenge is neither global nor a challenge. In comparison, this is like trying to sort out voting reform during the height of the Blitz. And of course I have my opinions on the World Club Challenge, but they’re nothing new. The only difference is that my plan has actual workable details rather than vague suggestions put forward by the faces of rugby league, so I won’t bore you with them.

Failing that, scrap Super League, convince the RFL to buy the Gold Coast Titans, relocate them to Britain, and play in the NRL. At the rate the two leagues are pulling apart, we might as well.