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Friday Funnies: Kyrgios missing from bad boy contest

Bernard Tomic in Miami. (Image: CBS Miami)
Roar Guru
5th May, 2016
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Grigor Dimitrov and Bernard Tomic were duking it out this week for the mantel of baddest boy in tennis, a hotly contested title these days and strangely lacking Nick Kyrgios in recent days.

Playing in the final of the Istanbul Open, Dimitrov made abstract artworks of three racquets to concede the match to Argentinian Diego Schwartzman.

“I felt a little bit like a kite in a perfect storm,” said Dimitrov, who doubles as a writer for Hallmark.

Not to be outdone, Tomic played the last point of his Madrid Open match against Fabio Fognino, no angel himself, with the wrong end of the racquet.

“I don’t care about that match point,” he said. “Would you care if you were 23 and worth over $10 million?”

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie.

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There was some argy bargy in this week’s match between Leicester City and Manchester United, when Leicester’s Robert Huth pulled Marouane Fellaini’s hair.

Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal made it clear there’s only one situation where that kind of conduct is OK.

As if Leicester hasn’t won enough, Mark Selby, also known as the Jester from Leicester, was crowned world snooker champion 13 minutes after the Foxes won the Premier League.

Selby said it was the best night of his life. His wife and kid might have a few words to say about that.

“I don’t know what is more of a shock, me winning it a second time or Leicester becoming champions,” he said.

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The world’s most awkward meeting took place between Vladimir Putin and Russian Grand Prix winner Nico Rosberg.

Putin was left looking like the girl no one asked to dance after Rosberg took time to attend to post-race formalities before shaking the Russian president’s hand.

Vlad got his own back, telling Rosberg through an interpreter: “People take pleasure in watching you do your job — if you can call it a job.”

On a random note, ever wondered how to make bike spaghetti? Like this.

On to matters Olympic, South Korea has unveiled its secret weapon against the Zika virus — special uniforms infused with insect repellent.

The training uniforms come with long sleeves and long pants to cover up the skin — just perfect for those brisk Rio summers.

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Meanwhile, Strongbow will be the official drinks partner for the British team for the Rio Games. And let’s hope Team GB drinks a lot of it.

Golfer Jordan Spieth says he’s had tonnes of sympathy following last month’s US Masters disaster.

“I’ve got ladies at the grocery stores putting their hand on me and going, ‘Really praying for you. How are you doing?’” he says.

But he says he’s fine. “I laugh about (the Masters) now, I really do.”

A bit like this, perhaps?

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We all know Lionel Messi is a goal scoring machine.

But a Japanese game show thought it had come up with the perfect foil to Messi’s prowess this week. Wrong.

Nashville sports reporter Dan Phillips was fired from Fox station WZTV, where he was employed for more than 10 years, after delivering a Prince-themed report after the musician’s death.

Yes, it was that bad.

Finally, rugby tough man David Pocock will have his mum’s name stitched on his jumper when he lines up for the Brumbies on Mother’s Day.

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“She’s spent her life running around after my brothers and I, so I’m very grateful for her support and love over the years,” he says.

“We should probably celebrate mums more than once a year.” And one, two, three, awwwwww.

Have a good weekend, everyone. Be nice to your mum.

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