The Roar
The Roar

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Tasmania, we're better as friends

Scott Thompson could have ended his career on a higher note last season. (AAP Image/Rob Blakers)
Roar Rookie
3rd June, 2016
25
1327 Reads

Tasmania has been watching too many Hollywood movies.

They are the nice guy that patiently waits for the girl, hoping that a grand romantic gesture will finally open her eyes and make her realise that yes, you are the love of their life that’s been right under her nose all along.

Wrapped in a blanket in front of the roaring fire on a cold Hobart night, Tasmania sits and envisions a world where they walk hand in hand with the AFL.

And hey, it might work. I mean, Ted got Robin in the end. Sure, it took a divorce and the death of the ‘Mother’ to make it happen, but they got there eventually. But unless Tasmania gets a lot richer very soon, it isn’t going to happen for you. Sorry, but the AFL is shallow like that. You should have known.

Tasmania has been screaming for years that it wants its own AFL team. In fact, the word that has been thrown around by so many Tasmanians and even McLachlan himself is ‘deserve’. Look at what Tasmania has done, they cry, look at all the champions we’ve given to the game. Names like Hart, Stewart, Baldock, Richardson, Hudson – names that are glint with the lustre of glory in the annals of Australian Rules history, names that are a testament to the love that Tasmania has shown for the game.

Surely, in the eyes of Tasmanians, their historical association with VFL/AFL football, what they have given to the game, means they should get something in return?

Speaking on 774 ABC in Melbourne, AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan said that the stark reality for Tasmania is that there is no strategic reason for investing in a team like there is for Western Sydney. Translation: The AFL can’t make any more money off Tasmania than it already does, so why bother investing there?

Tasmania is maxing out its contribution to the AFL. Just like the nice guy that’s always there for emotional support and gives all his time to the girl, so does Tasmania give to the AFL everything it wants. Tasmanians are watching the game, listening to the game, playing the game, playing fantasy AFL, buying the memberships and merchandise, gambling on the game, etc. Tasmanians are already giving the AFL everything wants, and the AFL doesn’t have to commit anything in return.

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This is a one-sided relationship, and the AFL is getting everything it needs from Tasmania. Why would the AFL spend more money then it has to?

If the answer is because they ‘deserve’ it, then I’m sorry, Tasmania will never get the girl. This isn’t a Hollywood fantasy. The AFL is a business, a good one, and they’re not about to go and spend a bunch of money to get what it’s already getting. Granted they sunk $21million into Western Sydney last year, but the trade off is potentially a few hundred thousand new customers. If you had the choice between being given something for free or paying for it, what would you choose?

My advice to Tasmania? Move on. Try dating some other sports. Stop watching AFL, stop taking a long weekend in Melbourne, stop letting your kids play the game. Go and sign up your kids for the local soccer team, and use your Foxtel package to watch the A-League. Act like the Gold Coast, or Western Sydney, and invest your time and money in a different sport. In other words, let the AFL go.

One of two things will happen, either the AFL will realise what it’s missing (unlikely), or you will find happiness elsewhere. Both ways you’re a winner Tasmania, so why not start harassing David Gallop for a Tasmanian round ball team? No one wants to end up like Professor Snape, lonely and unloved after obsessing over the same girl for 30 years. Maybe it’s not what you deserve, but life’s not fair. Move on Tasmania.

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