The Cronulla Sharks won't win the 2016 NRL premiership

Jack Gibson – may he rest in peace – was right. Leaving that porch light on is the definition of rugby league futility.

For the uninitiated, the legendary coach – and quote machine – once famously said that waiting for Cronulla to win the premiership was like leaving the porch light on for Harold Holt.

For the uber uninitiated, or younger audience, Harold Holt is deader than Tupac Shakur.

I’m almost certain that’s the first instance that Holt and Pac have been mentioned in the same sentence, and my brain hurts from the clash of pop culture references, but I digress away from the main point. The Cronulla Sharks will not win the 2016 NRL premiership.

Now if you’re expecting some serious analysis into why the boys from The Shire won’t be hoisting the Provan-Summons trophy come October 2, then for now, you may be a little disappointed.

The real reason I believe the Sharks won’t win the competition this year? Because I believe in hoodoos. In fact, I love them.

Some of the saddest sporting days of my life were when infamous hoodoos were broken. The St George Dragons shedding their chokers tag. Collingwood overcoming the Colliewobbles. Queensland finally winning a Sheffield Shield. The Boston Red Sox breaking the Curse of The Bambino.

Those were some dark days in the O’Connell household, as I simply don’t like seeing hoodoos broken.

And hoodoos don’t come much bigger than Cronulla’s.

Since their introduction into first-grade rugby league in 1967, the Sharks have won the same number of premierships as I have. For those counting at home, that’s a big fat zero.

Their lack of success is one of rugby league’s great ongoing narratives. It’s a source of embarrassment for their fans, while conversely, something that provides an opportunity for effortless sledging from their opponents.

To be fair, the Sharks haven’t been a complete laughing stock. They have made three grand finals, most recently in 1997 when they lost the Super League final to the Brisbane Broncos.

Yet even that rare highlight in the club’s history is more a footnote than an accomplishment. The rebel competition, for whatever reason, is the forgotten son of rugby league.

While the Newcastle Knights’ premiership in the ARL the same year is revered (and replayed ad nauseam), the Broncos’ win comes with a bigger Asterix than Obelix.

Settle down Brisbane fans, I didn’t say it was fair, or that I agree, but it is true. Whether it’s anti-Queensland bias, a boring final compared to the ARL nail-biter, lingering News Limited resentment, or something else, the Super League season is widely disregarded by many.

But back to the Sharkies and their premiership cupboard, which is in doubt of collapsing under the weight of dust it has collected.

If you need something a little more concrete and substantial than a mystical hoodoo when it comes to discounting the Sharks’ fortunes this year, there remains one major question mark with Cronulla: I still have doubts over Shane Flanagan’s coaching.

In the past, his gameplans have lacked a Plan B, and he has not made the in-game adjustments that are the hallmarks of great coaches.

So far this season, the Sharks have been very impressive, but I’m not sure how many true ‘shots to the mouth’ they have taken. Essentially, their Plan A has been good enough. That simply won’t be the case once the finals start, when the level of coaching goes up a notch. As such, I’ll be watching with interest to see what Flanagan has up his sleeve at the business end of the season.

Not convinced that’s a big enough reason to doubt the Sharks title hopes? How about any number of the following nit picks.

Mick Ennis seems to have matured, but he’s still got plenty of grubbiness in his game, and can hurt his team dearly. Such lapses in judgment usually prove costly in elimination games.

James Maloney is one of the form five-eighths in the comp, but can still be targeted in defence, and then found wanting.

Andrew Fifita has consistently flirted with dumb penalties his whole career.

The Sharks also have a number of ‘experienced’ players, but Father Time is undefeated. The older you get, the more susceptible you are to injuries, and the Sharks may fall foul of an important one; possibly even more.

Look, I freely admit straws are being clutched at here, and perhaps the hoodoo wish actually has more credibility as a reason why Cronulla will stumble yet again this year.

Yet whatever the reason, all us non-Sharks fans can agree on one thing: long may the Sharks hoodoo continue.