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The Australian pubic have spoken, and it seems that we have no faith in any particular political party to run our great country.
With Malcolm Turnbull likely to remain in power only by the skin of his pearly whites, we are left to wonder whether he is the right man for Australia’s second-most important position. But I’ve had enough politics to last me at least until the next leadership coup, so let’s instead focus on a few questionable rugby league appointments which could have gone either way.
Dave Smith – NRL Chief Executive Officer (2013-2015)
You know, rugby league with money’s a little like the mule with a spinning wheel; no one knows how they got it, and danged if they know how to use it.
Australian Rugby League Commission Chairman John Grant clearly agreed.
In 2012, with the NRL about to strike it rich through the sale of television rights, Grant made the executive decision to terminate David Gallop, the much-maligned CEO who had spent more time under siege than Steven Seagal.
With a billion dollars burning a hole in his pocket and no one to tell him how to spend it, Grant proposed a global recruiting blitzkrieg to replace Gallop. He wanted to unearth the very best sporting administrator to run the greatest game of all. Sadly, only three people replied to his ad on Seek, leaving the NRL to offer the gig to the best of a bad bunch. When that bloke declined the role, it was given to Dave Smith.
The rugby league community responded to the appointment of the Welsh banker with the enthusiasm and excitement of a reclusive teenage goth.
Rugby league is an incestuous sport, with no room for blokes who can’t tell their Cooper Cronks from their Bradley Coopers. There was genuine concern about whether someone without a background in the game could handle the intricate political landscape and the Game of Phones tabloid media. But Smith’s mandate was never about the game of rugby league. He was there to make sure we didn’t piss a billion dollars up the wall.
With Smith in charge, rugby league spent the better part of four years treading water in a sea of $50 bills.
The NRL has never been in a stronger financial position, but did the game grow during Smith’s tenure? Not in my book. But that’s okay. Like a particularly stubborn jar of olives, Dave Smith loosened the lid, leaving Todd Greenberg to pop it open and get his hands dirty.
Mal Meninga – Queensland State of Origin Coach (2006-2015)
The 2005 appointment of Mal Meninga as Queensland Origin coach was met with a bored ‘meh’ and a half-hearted shrug of the shoulders from both sides of the border.
The Maroons legend was coming off a spectacularly mediocre five-year stint as head coach of the Canberra Raiders, and was still licking his wounds after a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it political career.
Mal was the first of the modern Origin coaches to be appointed as a standalone mentor, and his lack of current NRL coaching experience was widely viewed as a substantial hindrance to his chances of success. In short, no one knew if this experiment would work.
Meninga inherited a broken Queensland side. The trademark passion and belief had vanished. The Blues had stomped it out of them like a discarded Peter Stuyvesant filter, and after three years of NSW domination, people were once again declaring that the concept of State of Origin was dead.
But instead of chasing the quick fix and focusing on tactics or strategy, Mal went about changing the culture. Richard Branson once said “if you take care of your employees, they will take care of your business”, and this is exactly the approach Meninga adopted.
The most critical factor to Meninga’s success was having the players completely buying into his unorthodox approach. But once he had the likes of Darren Lockyer and Shane Webcke on board, the rest was easy.
Mal stressed pride in the Queensland jersey, utilising his vast network of former origin greats to passionately advocate the honour and responsibility of wearing Maroon. He distilled Mark Coyne’s magic try and Billy Moore’s frenzied intensity, and his players guzzled it like Vitamin Water.
His systems were so successful and appealing that born and bred New South Welshman were switching their allegiance simply to be a part of something special.
Towards the end of his decade in charge, there was very little coaching left for Mal to do. With leaders like Cameron Smith, Johnathan Thurston and Billy Slater directing things at training, Meninga could sit back and enjoy the fruits of his labour.
The real testament to the blueprint Meninga established was how little disruption occurred when Kevin Walters took over the role this year, guiding the Maroons to their tenth series win in 11 years. Taking the gamble on Mal Meninga as Queensland Origin coach will go down as one of the greatest appointments in the history of rugby league.
Stephen Dank – Cronulla Sharks (2011)
In a heavily regulated game where the spread of player talent is governed by a salary cap, sports science represents a compliant avenue to gain an edge over your opponent. Or at least that’s the idea. The concept has been percolating throughout the rugby league community for some time now.
Des Hasler dabbled in calf’s blood during his time with the Manly Sea Eagles, GPS technology is now utilised by all 16 NRL clubs, and the Newcastle Knights even trialled the use of a substance called Felix Felicis, but without any luck.
In 2011, the Cronulla Sharks jumped aboard the sports science bandwagon, hiring biochemist Stephen Dank to help give them a competitive advantage.
While the introduction of Dank was not seen as a critical factor to success, what did the Sharks have to lose by bringing him into the fold? If Dank’s 11 secret herbs and spices didn’t work, they could simply jettison him and move on.
Dank was responsible for the implementation of a supplement program which entailed injecting players with peptides CJC 1295 and GHRP 6.
Both substances are synthetic analogues of the naturally produced growth hormone-releasing hormone (GHRH).
Once injected, they cause the body to release increased amounts of GHRH, which can aid in muscle development and recovery. Basically,the sort of gear one would buy from a juiced bloke with a high pitched voice in the toilets of Fitness First.
Shockingly, it turned out secretly injecting guys which growth stimulating substances was viewed as systematic doping. For their role in the ‘Blackest Day in Australian Sport’, Cronulla was fined a cool million bucks, head coach Shane Flanagan was suspended for 12 months, trainer Trent Elkin was deregistered by the NRL, and nine players were slapped with back-dated 12-month bans.
And Dank? The scientist came out of the mess as clean as a preacher’s sheets, and is yet to face any form of punishment for his role in the supplement program (except for being banned for life from the sport).
And just to rub it in the Sharks highly sensitive noses, Dank will be a panellist during a ‘Legalise Drugs in Sport’ forum during the Festival of Dangerous Ideas in Sydney in early September. Needless to say, the Sharks have put sports science on the back burner for the time being.