The Roar
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Are Carlton Hawthorn's bogey side?

Roar Guru
11th August, 2016
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(AAP Image/Julian Smith)
Roar Guru
11th August, 2016
6

It’s Monday, August 3, 2015, and I’ve just been cornered by my Richmond-supporting ‘friend’. Oh God, why did Hawthorn have to lose to the Tigers? Bulldogs, Adelaide – hell, maybe even North Melbourne – just anyone but Richmond.

Alas, Hawthorn did lose, and it was to Richmond, bringing an end to a month of absolute domination not seen in many years.

So I did the one thing only a true supporter could do – make extreme excuses as to why it wasn’t my team’s fault.

Umpires
Ahh, the classic, making grown men seem like spoiled 12-year-olds since the dawn of time. Unfortunately, it was only 15-20 Richmond’s way, hardly game-breaking.

Next.

The playing surface
An unusual one for the MCG, as it’s usually reserved for Etihad and ANZ, but there were a few more slips and slides than normal.

But both teams are MCG tenants, hardly an advantage one way or the other.

Other
Well, that’s it then, out of ideas, guess I’ll just open my mouth and see what comes out…

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“We lost because we’re too good.”

Jeez I’m stupid.

How could that possibly make sense? I don’t know, but I wasn’t about to give in and accept that Hawthorn had a bad game, that would be blasphemy!

“Carlton were so easy last week it was worse than not playing.”

Okay mouth, you may have redeemed yourself, I can work with this.

So I argued for about 20 minutes about how Hawthorn had demolished Carlton so completely that they’d forgotten what it was like to play an actual AFL team, and although I didn’t win the argument (or did I), I came away knowing I’d fought valiantly, and also with a little thought in my mind.

That night I checked when Hawthorn next played Carlton. Low and behold, it was Round 23, so the next day (while hugging a tree) I made the bold prediction that Hawthorn would lose its first final.

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I still tipped Hawthorn, told everyone West Coast didn’t stand a chance, and watched the game in full. But in the end, my prediction was right, and thankfully the Hawks went on to win it all, so I didn’t feel like I jinxed them.

I forgot about all of this until halfway through the Hawthorn versus Melbourne game on Saturday (actually, for me a quarter in, thanks public transport Victoria), and a little part of me thought we might lose.

And lose we did, in spectacular fashion, ahead halfway though the last before letting Melbourne kick six unanswered goals to win by 29.

All I could think was, “Why did we have to play Carlton?”

Now, I know it isn’t just ‘because Carlton’, but that loss marked three from three losses following Carlton games since the start of 2015. Three from 11 (27.3%) of Hawthorn’s total number of losses in that time. Too big a percentage to completely ignore, but also too small a sample size to mean anything.

Whether it’s real or not, it helps me sleep better believing that Hawthorn are still the best team, and only lose when the universe is completely against them.

So Roarers, which team is your club’s bogey side? And do you have some insane, 500-word-long reason as to why?

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Don’t forget to check if your side plays Hawthorn after a Carlton game when the 2017 fixture rolls out.

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