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Fresh ingredients required for Australia's cooked top order

16th November, 2016
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Can Davey claw back some respectability by taking on Rabada? (AAP Image/Dave Hunt)
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16th November, 2016
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You can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs, and it’s about time somebody got to work in the kitchen.

Australia’s display at the WACA in the first Test against South Africa was underwhelming at best and not particularly good at worst, but it was a Shakespearian masterpiece compared to what they served up in Hobart.

Now they haven’t been in the best of five-day form of late and you haven’t been able to read a comment piece without mention of their losing streak, but I bet I wasn’t the only one to have a double take at the scorecard from what constituted Day 4 at Bellerive Oval.

Admittedly, the pile-up of a second innings took place while the northern hemisphere was sleeping, so the chance to wince and smirk was denied, but even so.

There’s bad and there’s bad and this was definitely the latter.

The batting woes have been analysed to the nth degree, yet even the most pessimistic wouldn’t have anticipated what was forthcoming.

A dismal lack of application, a woeful inadequacy in technique and goodness knows what else was ruthlessly exposed by the visiting seam trio and the end result is a gilt-edged opportunity for some mean-looking knives to be closely acquainted with the whetstone.

And if surgery is required – and let’s be honest now, the selectors won’t be in a job for much longer if they take no remedial action – the question is just how far will, or can, they go?

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When a side who, for all their troubles overseas, are being put to the sword on familiar turf where they are usually very hard to topple, then something has to give.

There are some big examinations coming up – a resurgent Pakistan, world-standard bearers India and a trivial contest called the Ashes – and a side that is increasingly unfit for purpose is currently walking head first into more impending doom.

The hosts’ bowlers weren’t at the top of their game this week but the blame for the shocking results can’t be laid at their door. Nathan Lyon could do with a decent game and a focus on tightening things up wouldn’t do any harm but you won’t solve the problem by aiming at an alternative target.

Australia's spinner Nathan Lyon. AP Photo/Andres Leighton

Of the top six on show, only David Warner, Steve Smith and Usman Khawaja have to play – and if it was India next then Khawaja, who plays good quality spin like a man with his hands tied together, wouldn’t be safe – but quite who their colleagues should be is harder to guess.

A touch of sympathy could be extended towards Callum Ferguson, as one outing doesn’t make for much of a sample, but it isn’t pushing the boat out to suggest he could well be added to the one-cap club.

The other two, Adam Voges and Joe Burns, could be facing a Sheffield Shield shootout with all manner of wannabes, with the ageing former poorly served by an inopportune drop in form and the latter barely appearing to be in the very same.

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That could mean a few untested souls being tossed into the mix and that is a scenario most would prefer to avoid. However, the adage of ‘you got us into this mess, you get us out of it’, doesn’t seem quite right, as these aren’t the world’s best having a lean patch and there is no real evidence to suggest better is to come.

The statistics of recent months offer a damning indictment of a batting unit which has been on its last legs for a while, and Vernon Philander, Kagiso Rabada and Kyle Abbott just happened to be charged with loading the proverbial rifle.

The bottom of the barrel has been reached and the day-night Test Mark II is where the climb upwards must start.

Perhaps a fresh and very wet behind the ears top-order could really be the answer, as any first-class batsmen worth their salt wouldn’t have covered themselves in any less glory than their more illustrious cricketing brothers managed.

It’s time to break those eggs.

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