The squad for the second day/night Test match in Adelaide has been announced. Lo and behold, Trevor Hohns has returned to the chairman’s hot seat with his trusty axe sharpened and gone on a rampage often seen in the Saw movie franchise.
Six casualties have emerged from the calamitous display down in the Apple Isle where South Africa put on an absolute ‘mint’ bowling performance to rout the hosts for yet another sub-hundred total.
Despite such behaviour becoming the norm for the Australian team, this did not affect the selectors. They have gone rogue! They’ve had enough!
As a result, Matt Renshaw, Peter Handscomb and Nic Maddinson will all make their baggy green debuts at the Adelaide Oval.
But now it’s all been said and done, we need to tackle the real selection issue.
No, I don’t want to talk about who should be there or who shouldn’t be there.
I’m talking about the bigger issue of who is fielding under the lid at bat pad?
Never in our nation’s cricketing history has this position had so many candidates at the one time.
Let’s be honest, fielding at bat pad is a vital job. And over the years, Australia has been blessed with a litany of legends who lurked ‘low the lid.
There’s the brilliant David Boon providing us with memories like Warnie’s hat-trick, the garden gnome Justin “Alfie” Langer popping out of various sprinkler heads around the world, and of course, George Bailey, the man responsible for the onset of the “broken arm” threat to that infamous Pom, James Anderson.
Of late, the position has been a revolving door, with Joe Burns, Usman Khawaja, Shaun Marsh and Adam Voges participants in the birthday party game of musical bat pads.
Until now, decisions on bat pad were not sensibly made from one’s ability to undertake the role, but by the controversial topic of class. Where do you rate in the Australian dressing room order?
But with this selection spree, it is no longer a case of throwing in the new bloke. We are faced with the difficult task of actually making a decision.
We’ve got three potential fillers. So who do we plonk under the noses of the awaiting opening batsmen?
Let’s run a rule over the candidates.
Peter Handscomb
The Victorian comes into the Test arena in fine form having recently knocked up a double ton against the baggy green nursery of New South Wales.
Handscomb is considered a strong bat pad candidate based on his experience as a wicketkeeper. Time spent up close to the pegs and often wearing a lid while ‘keeping certainly places him in a good position to fulfil the role.
Nic Maddinson
Another Australian selection probably more on talent then actual form. To be fair, Maddinson finds himself the luckiest of the three to make their debut. So in traditional bat pad terms, he should feel duty-bound to do whatever is asked of him in Adelaide.
If that means sniffing the opposition batsmen’s derrieres, then sniff away, young Nic.
Matthew Renshaw
The bolter of the team and the youngest member of the side. This immediately places him in the crosshairs.
Everyone knows it’s a rite of passage for the baby of the squad to be lumped with all the duties his elder compatriots shun. For example, carrying the captain’s bag, sweeping out the sheds at the end of the day and fetching Boof’s six pack from the bottom of an ice bath that’s been inhabited by sweaty quicks after a day in the field.
Will this include life in the game’s most notorious shooting gallery?
So punters, which of the three do you feel should have their nose to the ground, bum in the air and hands ready for those sharp close-in catches? One of the debutants? Or do we fly in the face of decades of history and shove an experienced bloke under there?
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