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The ghost of 'The Don' on Adam Voges

3rd December, 2016
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Adam Voges hung up his helmet with a ridiculous Test average. (AAP/Dave Hunt)
Roar Guru
3rd December, 2016
66
1150 Reads

‘The Don’ here. Just thought I’d pop down and give my 99.96’s worth on Adam Voges

I note he’s sitting second to me on Cricinfos’s highest career batting averages, and as you can well imagine, that sits as well with me as a Bill O’Reilly sledge.

Of course, I didn’t mind when Graham Pollock sat under me, because, boy, that Springbok could bat. I was even OK with Michael Hussey overstaying his welcome, because water was always going to find its own level with that 80 average of his, and so it proved.

But this Voges is now a washed up Test player and that 61 average is as good as engraved.

Indeed, it’s now sitting in the all time batting averages like an empty sardine can defiling an idyllic shore!

Something has to be done.

So what’s say all you stats lovin’ nuts lobby Cricinfo to have the minimum number of innings raised? Voges has 31 innings, so let’s bombard them with emails ranting that it now be 32.

Better still Bradman fans, let’s lobby to downgrade Voges’s Tests against the Windies to exhibition matches. If you take out his numbers against players representing countries who only got a game because the best players for that country were in the Big Bash, you have an average that takes a big bash!

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I mean, use your imaginations.

You could push them to have a chart that reads ‘Highest career batting averages … but only for players who weren’t ordinary Shield cricketers.’

Or

‘Highest career batting averages .. but only for players who weren’t hacks (or frauds!)’

The possibilities are endless.

And if not for me, do it for your children. Do you want them poring over batting charts where Voges is in company with the greats? It’d be like letting a history teacher tutor fourth graders that ‘dude’ is used 161 times in The Big Lebowski.

We don’t our kids’ fragile little minds cluttered with trivial quirks like that, let alone Voges’. We want them learning about the Romans and Captain Cook and topping a batting chart after a resounding 80 innings.

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So if not for me, do it for them. And if not for them, well … at least for parity. For while Voges pollutes batting charts with his devaluing 61 average, parity is the real loser. And parity being a loser can’t be good for anyone.

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