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Stoinis saves the nation

Marcus Stoinis - headed for Baywatch? But not quite. (AAP Image/SNPA, Ross Setford)
Roar Rookie
31st January, 2017
26

New Zealand played host to Australia in the long-awaited Chappell-Hadlee opener, with the two teams having not met since December.

Eden Park was treated to a thrilling encounter, a game that will be talked about for years to come. This is after the match seemed to be headed towards a one-sided affair in the early stages of Australia’s innings.

Australia, in keeping with national tradition, seemingly took the mickey out of their trans-Tasman rivals in the lead up, with captain Steve Smith missing through ‘injury’ and vice-captain David Warner also absent because he couldn’t really be bothered.

As if to hammer the point home, Matthew Wade was appointed as stand-in skipper before he too was ultimately withdrawn prior to the coin toss. Aaron Finch, deemed not good enough to face Pakistan only weeks ago (and seemingly without much chance of returning to the national side), was recalled as captain. He at least won the toss.

Such was Australia’s respect for the prestige of the Chappell-Hadlee trophy, the men in canary yellow Australian gold were joined by debutant Sam Heazlett, with the selectors deciding to take the work-experience kid on tour.

Heazlett, having not played a List A game for his state, was called up in what could be described as a ‘Hail Mary’ selection. Shaun Marsh was also present, providing fodder to armchair observers to malign a tried and tested scapegoat should things go wrong.

Marcus Stoinis was the undeniable star of the show, however, taking 3-49 from his ten overs, before amassing an incredible 146 off 117 balls in a match-winning innings.

What was most important about Stoinis’ swashbuckling display is that it detracted from the end result of the game. As with the North Korean Olympic Basketball team, the fact that Josh Hazlewood’s Allan Donald-esque brain fade at the non-striker’s end ultimately cost Australia victory has seemingly been overlooked in the media wash-up. No Chinese-style internet censorship needed.

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Fox Sports Australia, in their patented style, have published every article they could muster about Stoinis on the hour, every hour since his commanding performance. Next up is an interview with his former third-grade sweetheart on how he gets his hair to look so shiny and smooth. Jarryd Hayne, Aaron Mooy and the Australian NBA contingent have had to take backseat for now.

Marcus Stoinis of Australia celebrates

Whether the team selected and overall performance of the side was borne out of complacency, apathy or one big joke, the last thing Australians want to do is lose to New Zealand – we do enough of that in the rugby.

When displaying overconfidence and lack of regard for any opposition, it becomes incredibly embarrassing if things do not work out to plan. At 6-67, chasing 287 for victory, Kiwi expats were licking their lips at the prospect of some water-cooler banter in offices and workplaces around the nation.

Despite their victory, albeit in a tightly contested match in the equally tight confines of Eden Park, the smugness of the New Zealand cricket fans has been as easily dismissed as the Australian top-order, with the simple retort of “Yeah, but what about Stoinis? What a knock!”. And for this, cricket fans across the country should be extremely grateful.

The selectors too should also be counting their lucky stars. With Stoinis effectively papering over the significant cracks still evident in their side, nothing less than kissing the feet of the second-gamer should suffice. Few have been as lucky following defeat as Trevor Hohns and co.

With Wade also possibly returning to assume his captaincy responsibilities in the next game, Stoinis gives him an opportunity to bat Glenn Maxwell lower in the order, which will no doubt bring Wade great joy.

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The game, thankfully, will always be referred to as the one in which Stoinis demolished the Kiwis on their home soil. It will be subject to many YouTube compilations, top ten lists written by lazy journalists or bloggers (such as the author), cricket trivia questions presented by Channel Nine and pub anecdotes between mates when arguing over something trivial with beers in hand.

In ten years, who will still be talking about the result?

Marcus Stoinis, take a bow.

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