“Money better spent elsewhere”: NRL scraps the 30-metre line

As of next weekend’s rounds, all NRL clubs will be required to erase the large ’30’ on the playing ground’s 30-metre line. Clubs that fail to do so will be fined and have their groundskeeper put on report.

The rationale is that there is no practical use for it, unlike the 50 for kickoffs, the 40 and 20 markings for 40-20 kicks, and the 10 for ten-metre play-the-ball after being held up.

“We want to ensure a game of clarity, with reverence for our past, but there is just no reason to waste the paint,” commented a league official.

“The money is better spent elsewhere.”

The official declined to comment when asked if this decision was linked to the money raised by the NFL in penalties towards the Oakland Raiders, after they refused to paint the 50-yard-line gold two years ago in honour of the NFL’s 50th anniversary.

However, not all are happy about this. One team spokesperson said members were beside themselves with the news:

“Since the announcement, we have opened our group inbox and voicemails to find endless complaints from supporters. These are people who love rugby league and have taken the time to write us some very strongly worded correspondences.

“Unfortunately, we had and still have no say in this matter, but are suffering the consequences.”

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A renowned rugby league academic commented that the abolition of the 30 should not come as a surprise:

“We have already tampered with the game by switching from yards to metres – 25 yards as a quarter of the field made sense, but the change to 22 metres was a step in the wrong direction.

“The elimination of the number 30 is merely part of a larger trend that has been going on since the 1970s.”

Upon hearing this, a top English Super League official announced his support of the RFL’s decision to add the numbers three and zero to their traditionally numberless fields:

“The results of the World Club Series speak for themselves: our boys went two and zero against the Aussies.

“If all three teams had shown up, we would have been three and zero. That’s what 3-0 means on our pitches.”

A public figure in the Canadian Rugby League has also been vocal about this matter, saying, “We in Canada have done our best to be team players. We switched from imperial measurements to metric even though our southern neighbours in the US and motherland of Great Britain have not.

“To complicate matters, our CFL (Canadian gridiron) still plays on 110 yards; it is very confusing because this is 100 metres anyway. How are we to know if the measurements will change tomorrow?

“It just is not fair to newcomers, who rely on the consistency and fairness of the governing bodies.

Closer to home, Queensland Rugby League members have had different thoughts on the matter:

“The league has been in need of a serious set of changes and reality checks and it seems that both happened at once,” said one. “The game is still the same quality but let’s face it, everyone needs a good kick in the pants every now and then.”

Another added, “It is important that we realise the consequences of implementing changes too quickly but, in this case, it works nicely. The field has been a place of stagnation for too long.”

With this, the NRL’s decision to add gridiron ‘hash marks’ to the field has been put on delay indefinitely. One board member anonymously stated, “This is most unfortunate, we could have finally had a clear system to see whether or not an actual ten metres were given at the play-the-ball..

“Now it seems to be a distant dream due to the fallout from this 30-metre-line debacle.”

Clearly, the implications of such a unilateral decision were not adequately factored in when the decision was made; as such, the short-term ramifications are being felt but, if they are any indicator, the long-term effects could be dire.

UPDATE:

Now that it’s after midday we can reveal that this is indeed an April Fool’s piece. SHOCK HORROR!