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Chewing the fat (volume 1)

Melbourne Storm players Suliasi Vunivalu and Cooper Cronk in torrential rain during the Round 1 NRL match between the Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs and the Melbourne Storm at Belmore Sports Ground in Sydney, Saturday, March 3rd, 2017. (AAP Image/Craig Golding)
Roar Guru
6th April, 2017
16

In our weekly review on all things rugby league we focus on the headlines and give our spin on pressing issues. We encourage you to join in the conversation.

We’ll start by addressing Ray’s No.1 subject that gets his blood boiling.

The ‘Big 4’, a myth to rival the Lithgow Panther and Nessie
Before going to air news has filtered through this morning that the ‘Big 4′ is no longer. Luke Brooks, the least appealing of the quartet, has re-signed with the club for two years.

For over 12 months Ray has consistently sworn and been agitated with any press clippings or media reports relating to Wests Tigers ‘Big 4′.

I am sick of hearing him bang on about it being as farcical as sightings of the Lithgow Panther or Nessie frolicking about at Loch Ness!

After assessing the quartet’s value, output and reliability we agreed it should have been the big ‘1.5′. The one being Aaron Woods and the 0.5 being James Tedesco.

The other pair has shown great promise, but not over a sustained consistent period. The red flag for Tedesco is the fact he has been sidelined for long periods in his brief career.

He also needs to improve the flaws in his game, mainly defensive tasks. If I were selecting Origin 1 today both Josh Dugan and Tom Trjobevic are streets ahead of Tedesco.

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The giant caveman Aaron ‘Grug’ Woods is the most important re-signing the club needs. Leadership, maturity, representative honours and reliability are his strong suits. He is the rock coach Ivan Cleary will want to build his side around.

Kieran Foran’s promising debut for the Warriors
Anyone reading the headlines and thinking Foz can lift this side to great heights, need only to review the first half dished up by the Warriors. Sure the attack clicked in the second stanza as the Kiwi No.6 grew in confidence but as SJ has shown in the first month, even he can’t carry the Ayshfords, Katas and Co.

They continually make poor reads or attempts in defence and drop the ball more than Virat Kohli in the slips.

Foran’s debut took the focus on the same issues the Warriors have week in, week out. The forwards are still struggling to gain the ascendency in the ruck, the marker defence looks slow, poor and a weakness and the backs continually cough up possession at crucial times.

A few tweaks from coach Kearney could turn things around. Ray and I suggest shifting Bodene Thompson into the centres and when Ben Matulino returns employing his as a wide running edge back rower.

Both have played in these roles in the past and produced the goods, particularly in attack. Blake Ayshford has been poor two weeks in a row but somehow retains his spot. He is not first grade standard and should be a permanent fixture in the NSW Cup. James Gavet must be in the 17 every week.

He runs straight, hard and direct with no fear. He also doesn’t shift his body side on like Lillyman and Vete do on impact.

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The attack looked good albeit against a side with zero reserves for majority of the second half. Don’t expect a repeat this weekend Warriors fans.

Cooper Cronk, the new aged snag
Call us old dinosaurs but throwing your lot in for love as you approach the finish line of an outstanding career had Ray and I reaching for the Bex! Surely with Skype, face time and technology these days Cooper could have given the Storm a few more years.

Sure Melbourne is an awful place and home of the brown ugly river, the birthplace of man buns, Eddie McGuire – Melbourne’s version of Donald Trump – and trams, but we’re sure Bellyache and Co. would of given Cooper ‘Foran-time’ when the side visited Sydney.

It’s a big call from the little general to announce his plans after only five rounds, and credit where credit is due, he has been open and honest for his reason’s and future beyond 2017. I’m sure Melbourne Storm fans are shattered by the news and old Molly would have attempted to remove his hat and throw it against the ground in disgust had it not been surgically implanted to protect his head.

Melbourne Storm player Cooper Cronk. AAP Image/Julian Smith

We predict a gig with his missus on Fox Sports will be his next move in 2018 and he’ll go out as a one club legend. Look out for the first teaser toward the festive season titled ‘Christmas with the Cronks’ and a follow up pilot in early 2018 of ‘Keeping up with Cronks’, directed by none other than Tony Chalmers.

So give us your two bobs’ worth, punters…

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