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Bruce Stadium in Canberra nears capacity. The Australian team scores try after try against the New Zealand opposition. The sniper goal kicker pots over the conversions effortlessly from the sidelines.
The winning margin is impressive, the game is full of action with very few stoppages.
I watch the game, live and on free-to air, in Perth.
No, I’m not hallucinating and you’re not dreaming, it’s real. It’s definitely rugby, but alas, it’s not rugby union. And the Australian team won, leading 24-0 at half time.
So what is rugby union doing so wrong?
Growing up in Brisbane, I have watched my share of Broncos games and state of origin series, I don’t mind rugby league but I always preferred watching the Maroons or the Wallabies at Ballymore.
For this reason, I feel qualified to compare the two games subjectively.
First off, rugby league at its core is a repetitive and unimaginative game. Run straight and try to smash through two or three guys trying to stop you. Repeat four times then kick as long as you can.
There are a few break out runs here and there, some crossfield kicks, and some play out wide for the speed men at times, but the game is about forward packs.
Southern Hemisphere rugby has the big hits too, but also has flair and variety. Players have multiple skills and many have genuine speed and agility, unlike league players that are all built like Julian Savia.
So why is the union game so hard to sell?
I sat there watching the league international for 40 minutes and thought I was watching one of those Fox Sports compressed games that you can finish in 60 minutes. But no, this was in real time.
And then it dawned on me and I grabbed my laptop and started typing furiously: there are almost no stoppages!
League doesn’t wait two minutes for the likes of Owen Farrel, Damien MacKenzie or Bernard Foley line up for a penalty. It is just tap and go.
There is no waiting for the forward pack puff to their way up field to their next scrum or lineout.
There is no standing around while a tired forward grabs his ankle while the other 15 stand around having a drink.
It is fine for us elitists. We have plenty of free time and relish the opportunity get another bottle of Grange from the cellar. But the modern world is full of kids and adults with short attention spans that aren’t going to sit around waiting for the game to resume.
I pre-record my games of rugby and pretty shortly, have already reached for the remote to skip ahead of brain-numbing, time-stealing stoppages.
I worked out recently that one of the Australin versus England Internationals only had 55 minutes of playing time. The other 25 minutes were spent watching penalty kicks or large men waddling around the park.
So how does rugby league do it?
The ball hardly ever goes out and play resumes within seconds after a penalty or a handling error.
It is all about the evolution of the game which has evolved the rules to make it a better for the spectator.
So how can we fix rugby union? How can we make it attractive to a wider audience?
I am sure I am going to upset the purists with my next few comments but please take them as thought provoking suggestions and not an assault on tradition.
We all love the southern hemisphere style of running rugby, so this is obviously a step in the right direction and should be encouraged.
The quick lineout throw after a deep kick into touch in backfield increases the tempo of the game. Why not formalise this?
I have played some Viva 7’s recently and the restart after the ball goes into touch is very similar – a pass from the sideline with the opposition 5-10m behind.
We see scrum after scrum, more often than not ending in a penalty kick for goal or another time wasting setup for a lineout further up the field.
Some of this was addressed the modified NRC and the failed short arm loving stellenbosch rules.
Can we end it all together with a short arm penalty – tap and go. Anything we can do to reduce the length and number of scrums will be a positive. How about a tap restart for handling errors.
Save scrums to resolve those contests where there is no clear victor.
And before you have your say, I know it kills the spectacle of the set piece of the lineout and scrum but is it really worth it? Is there a middle ground that can re-vitalise the game?
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.