The Roar
The Roar


Collingwood executives getting increasingly nervous about Indigenous Round

Should a hard win be worth more on the table than an easy one? (AAP Image/Ben Macmahon)
26th May, 2017
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According to reports, Collingwood executives are deeply anxious about the AFL’s upcoming Indigenous Round.

While racism is certainly an issue in all walks of Australian life, the Pies have developed a certain penchant for vilifying opponents – incidents occurring with the regularity of a Joel Selwood free-kick or a Richmond mid-season collapse.

It famously began some 24 years ago with Nicky Winmar, and Collingwood fans have shown a steely dedication to racially taunting opposition players with no less than seven instances in the past five years.

When speaking to The Roar, a leading Collingwood board member expressed concerned about what “fresh new PR hell” his fans will dump onto him after Sunday’s game against the hapless Brisbane Lions.

“What the hell are they going to do this time?!” he muttered to himself, pacing around his office before pulling out an A4 page and blowing the dust off it.

“We’ve already got the statement written up”, he informs me:

On behalf of the Collingwood Football Club, we’d like to apologise to Chris Yarran Joel Wilkinson Adam Goodes Lewis Jetta Adam Goodes again (this one’s from you-know-who) the entire Muslim community Bachar Houli. There’s no room in our sport for racism, and despite the procession of race-based scandals that keep coming from our club, it does not reflect who we are or what we represent. We’re doing everything in our power to ensure this never happens again.


The Roar spoke to Rick, a longtime Collingwood fan, about his thoughts on his club’s mixed relationship with the Indigenous community.

“Nah, I don’t think we’re a racist club per se. I mean you can make anything look bad if you start listing to a series of facts or events that happened. Every club has a few bad eggs that ruin it for everyone else.”

The executive also revealed that he has ‘pre-apologised’ to a number of Indigenous leaders around the country for the hypothetical incident.

“It’s just good to get out in front of these things early, control the narrative, y’know? I’ve told Noel Pearson that I’m really sorry for what the hypothetical fan has done, and his or her membership will be revoked. He was really good about, said he knew it was going to happen and made his peace with it.”

“Alright, now what’s Goodsey’s number?”