If we rewind to early November, a pragmatic and sober English mind should have been hoping to head to Sydney no worse than 2-1 down, which could have occurred along the following lines:
Wins in either in Brisbane or Perth were unlikely. The best they could hope for was to be competitive and maybe get some rain in Brisbane, but history says they would lose both Tests.
With the Melbourne wicket a road, a draw could be salvaged.
The one English win – which would give the tourists a sniff of a drawn series heading to Sydney – hinged on Adelaide.
Adelaide, the scene of the crime in 2006 for so-called ‘Amazing Adelaide’ (which is nonsense, as it was four days of mind-numbing cricket where bat dominated and England lost the plot on the fifth day).
Nonetheless, that fateful fifth day will forever be a ghost for English cricket. Said ghost was unfortunately revisited in 2017, but this time on Days 1 and 2, when the entire series was lost.
As such, this series was over by Day 2 of the second Test match. In session terms, a meagre 18 sessions in to the series.
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Many will say Joe Root lost the plot and chose to bowl, but he did that in concert with his two senior bowlers and the coach.
The rainy and overcast conditions were the nearest thing you get in Australia to a damp Old Trafford in early May and if the Kookaburra was ever going to swing and move it was then.
It was also a risk worth taking if England were to ever get that sniff, fuelled by memories of that great first session in Adelaide in 2010 and Australia being bowled out before the day was out.
A happy day for Jimmy Anderson, picking up four wickets, and a respectable day for Stuart Broad, who created pressure with higher pace and tight economical overs.
On that day, the combined Anderson-Broad figures were the best part of 40 overs for 90 runs and five wickets.
Forward to the end of the Australian innings in 2017 and the pair had bowled 60 overs for 150 runs and three wickets. The damage was done.
The sad truth is that only one wicket was taken by the senior men on Day 1 – Anderson getting Usman Khawja – but by then it was the 52nd over.
The 52nd over in damp, overcast conditions and somehow Anderson and Broad with a combined 900 Test wickets between them could only muster one miserable wicket.
That that was the story – not a brain fade by Joe Root, but the two leading wicket-takers in English cricket history bowling particularly badly.
The day was December 2, 2017 – the day the Ashes were lost.
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