The commencement of the 2018 edition of the Six Nations heralds the return of international rugby, Eddie Jones, centuries-old gripes against the English, fantastic Italian hair, warm pubs and industrial amounts of Guinness to our lives.
It also means the return of a conflict as old as time itself, for as night turns to day and day turns to night, from Aberdeen to Aberystwyth, Ballymena to Brighton, pubs in February and March will erupt in to wholly preventable arguments as to which TV’s will show the rugby and which will show the football.
Upon arrival on the cold shores of Britain in early 2014, I sought to integrate and ingratiate myself with the locals by deciding to watch Northern Hemisphere rugby for the first time in my life.
Expecting to have to subject myself to ‘thrilling’ 6-3 victories, whispers of the existence of outside backs and standing ovations for the fourth scrum reset, I instead discovered the best rugby crowds in the world and a fascinating mix of playing approaches, with personalities and characters abound on the field and in the coaching and commentary boxes (Stuart Barnes the notable, tedious exception).
Of course, it helps that the first two editions I witnessed (2014 and 2015) were thrilling in nature, with the final day shootout of 2015 living long in the memory. There were tries raining down on every match in unprecedented fashion as Wales, Ireland and England desperately tried to boost their points differential. The valiant loss is increasingly becoming unacceptable and obsolete up here.
It is one of life’s simple pleasures to sit or stand in a warm, preferably fire-lit pub, pint in hand while it’s freezing cold outside, watching and listening to a packed Millennium Stadium, Murrayfield, Twickenham or Lansdowne Road sing and roar and be deathly silent for kickers.
That’s before we even mention the gloriously petty airing of grievances for perceived historical slights, most of which involve heavy geo-political overtones, all-in brawls, biased refs and French eye-gouging.
(AP Photo/Scott Heppell)
The home straight to next year’s World Cup is slowly coming over the horizon, and every Test match counts towards building confidence for that, so here is my slightly informed, slightly biased preview of each team.
England
There’s honestly not much else than can be said about this Eddie Jones England team – they win, they execute the basics superbly, have pace and are deserved favourites. They also have likeable players (blasphemy I know) in Maro Itoje, Chris Robshaw, Jonny May and Anthony Watson. This is of course heavily outweighed by the fact that any squad with the colossally annoying Mike Brown, Joe Marler and Dylan Hartley is beyond remittal. Injuries the main worry.
France
They sacked their coach a few weeks ago and their president is under police investigation – a pretty quiet month for French rugby standards. They don’t make it easy to not use the “which French team will show up” cliché, but they will either ruin one of the home nations title aspirations with a gritty win, or there’ll be a player-led revolt by week three. Probably both.
Scotland
For the first time in recorded history there is an expectation that Scotland could possibly win a sporting tournament. My personal favourite to watch, the Scots have gone to the next level under Gregor Townsend after the fine rebuilding job undertaken by Vern Cotter, and they boast arguably the most exciting player in world rugby, Stuart Hogg.
Came within a whisker of beating the All Blacks a couple of months ago and have made Murrayfield a relative fortress. Despite the shellacking at the hands of England last year, they’ll be more mentally steeled this year.
(AP Photo/Scott Heppell)
Ireland
Always seem to be perpetual favourites or thereabouts, Joe Schmidt’s men have been through it all in the past five years, with the only potential downfall being depth in case injuries strike.
Talisman Johnny Sexton is not getting any younger or less concussion-prone, and his presence is key whenever they play. Alas the IRFU also have the perfect model in central contracts while monitoring the workload of players. All four provinces performing strongly.
Wales
Give in Warren, give in. Forget these fanciful notions of “expansive rugby” and “passing more than once in a phase”, just sign Jamie Roberts, George North and Alex Cuthbert to 20-year deals ensuring they can never be dropped, and re-name the sport ‘Warrenball’ in Wales. We know it’s what you truly desire. In all seriousness they will struggle mightily without Liam Williams and Jonathan Davies spark.
Italy
As much as I like and admire Conor O’Shea, this will probably be the 19th year in a row that Italy disappoint, despite how cool and funny the no-ruck strategy was against England last year. One win will be a success.
Winners Prediction: Ireland (in bold)
Dublin Dave
Guest
Normally I would agree with you but look at it again. He had seen that Earls' marker had drifted away from him and the delivery of his chip was perfection. Earls caught it and made several vital yards. Sure. If he had missed or fumbled Sexton would have been held down in the changing room afterwards and had deep heat spray applied to his nether regions but in fact it paid off. A calculated risk more than an act of folly. Give the lad his due.
Dublin Dave
Guest
Aren't you forgetting that the likely England Ireland showdown takes place on St Patrick's Day? You think the celestial powers that be would allow such a travesty as an English win on a day like that? I thought you lot believed this was the game they play in heaven!! :)
Dublin Dave
Guest
"These days you have to pay a bit more, work a lot harder and be a lot smarter than the majority of Australians to be Australian" But fortunately this is not difficult. Badum Tish!! :)
Andrew
Roar Guru
Bloody hell Scotland did not show up to the races at all - looked absolutely petrified right from kick-off, and Wales duly took advantage with a great performance. Fantastic first day!
Bakkies
Guest
That's a theory from the English who pour it like an ale at room temperature. It's to get the head and cream to keep it from going flat. It's not a porter to pour it in one go for it to go to the top.
Fionn
Guest
Yeah, they will, but migrants are still more located in smaller geographic pockets of UK so far as I am aware, and I think there is a higher % of migrants from smaller number of countries in the UK than Australia (more from eastern and southern Europe + few former colonies in particular). Affordable French food in England was far superior to Australia. Even in Ireland there was a very nice French cafe in the Alliance Francais opposite Trinity that was very nice French cuisine much more affordable than in Australia. When you're next in Dublin try a place called Damascus Gate too. Very good when I was there a few years ago.
Neil Back
Roar Rookie
Poor. Why?
Goatee
Guest
'The 6 Nations is probably the most unpredictable competition in sport let alone rugby.' Yes. Furthermore, the winner is rarely, if ever, a foregone conclusion after Round 1, regardless of predictions beforehand...
FunBus
Roar Rookie
Coffee’s right up there, but the drivel that surrounds Guinness (it must be poured for 2mins 35.56 secs or something and have a shamrock drawn in its head) is nonsense. It’s a bog-standard stout that, as you say, puts you on the bog all night. They must have a brilliant marketing team.
FunBus
Roar Rookie
Hope you’re right, T-Man, but the 6 Nations is probably the most unpredictable competition in sport let alone rugby.
Bakkies
Guest
'Ballymena…' Home to the best accent in Northern Ireland.
Bakkies
Guest
Nah coffee is the most overrated drink in the world. Amazing the snobbery it draws for a drink that has a rotten smell that could knock you for six.
Bakkies
Guest
The big surprise was Toner on the bench instead of Ultan Dillane. Toner is a starting lock that's it.
Bakkies
Guest
Yep even with the Jackson and Olding trial Ireland still have more depth than most tier one teams at flyhalf. Schmidt has a lot of options in the front row and now at lock too. Even in the days of O'Connell and O'Callaghan after Martin O'Kelly retired there weren't many options after those two.
Bakkies
Guest
You can't sip it slowly as the longer you leave it goes flat and the glass warms up. The next day is spent on the bog.
Bakkies
Guest
Yep. Paris always churns up poor matches littered with scrum resets and players coming off their feet. A lot of it is to do with the pitch cutting up. Due to the stadium's location (hence the frozen pitch fiasco years back) they can't have undersoil heating yet Laporte and his cronies tore up the approved plans to build a new Rugby stadium in the south of Paris that would have addressed that issue. It would also have addressed the transport issue for those coming from the southern parts of France.
Taylorman
Guest
Geez, what a good side, may as well give them the title now, I would if Billy was there.
Bakkies
Guest
They have a Michelin star restaurant in Brayruit? 'As much as there are many immigrants in London there is not the same number of migrants as in Australia, and the migrants in Australia seem to be from a wider array of countries.' You will be surprised at that. Even with Brexit the migrant numbers will still be high in London. I say a massive majority have been in London long enough to get Permanent Residency.
Taylorman
Guest
And oh yes the Rugby championship is predictable Neil, but for completely different reasons than the 6N is.
Taylorman
Guest
Geez you have a better memory than me Neil as I don’t recall saying that at all but if you say so. Three consecutive? None? Geez. That’s poor really. Though I did predict the last two, and the first one as a slam before it started and after England’s morbid World Cup. However, awards aside, that’s where things change. England have the last two and in this years version have the right home matches...Ireland and Wales, and they’ll win both. That leaves Murrayfield, and we just saw how likely that will be to lose, although like two years ago it will probably be close, and France, who will probably lose at Murrayfield...maybe. Ireland and England to fight it out at Twickers last round after Ireland, who also have a dream draw...how did they manage three on the trot at Aviva? ... should be the only threat by then, but England to avenge last years away loss back at home. I might be wrong somewhere as the 6N usually throws in one or two surprises, the Welsh margin the first one, but I think it’s about right.