Expert
In the second blunder this week for the club, coach Shane Flanagan has been unable to name the fullback for the Cronulla Sharks.
The incident follows on from Peter Beattie’s earlier gaffe, where the new commissioner failed to identify the club mascot despite Phil Gould leading him like a corrupt prosecutor.
When quizzed on whether the team from the Sutherland Shire was the “Cronulla Hawks, the Cronulla Seagulls or the Cronulla Sharks”, the former Premier replied, “I wouldn’t have a bloody clue”.
The indolent answer from Beattie angered rusted-on fans and immediately spiked his suitability as a rugby league administrator.
Flanagan was posed an equally self-answerable question this week after addressing his stark oversupply of fullbacks with another fullback who isn’t a fullback.
After earmarking Valentine Holmes for the role and then switching for Josh Dugan before ordering Matt Moylan to fumble kicks, the 2016 premiership coach was canvassed on who actually wears the number one jersey.
Clearly stumped by the multiple choice question he initially had three months to answer, Flanagan tugged his collar before uneasily replying with, “It’s a fullback of some kind”.
He then attempted to laugh off the vague answer before apologising for being “too busy thinking about the Commonwealth Games”.
Flanagan’s snafu is reminiscent of rugby league’s other bureaucratic bungles, such as the ‘Benji Barba’ incident and the time the back shed was left unattended to Stephen Dank.
While it is unclear if the Sharks coach suffers from a hoarding disorder or Alzheimer’s, his inability to select from a pool of thousands has been met with outrage from the game’s most important stakeholders, those being Supercoach entrants and gamblers.
Fans are indignant too, voicing their displeasure online at another “out of touch” official who either has no feel for the game or has smoked a lot of pot in his formative years.
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In response to concerns the club’s indistinguishable brand and surfeit of interchangeable personnel could also lead to accusations he is forming some kind of socialist organisation under the guise of a football team, thus framing himself as post-modern revolutionary and drawing unneeded attention to the club when he should be settling on a fullback, Flanagan replied, “Yeah, probs”.
But like most matters faced by rugby league administrators, his decision on the matter will be dictated by cash.
As a result, Flanagan plans to “do what’s best for the team” and grant Holmes the gig because he wants fullback money, or Dugan because he is already receiving it.
But if the excess cannot be resolved, the NRL has promised to engage their standard Cronulla Resolution Strategy, which is to either ignore it or move it somewhere else.